We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Starving in Plain Sight

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 97

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You know that feeling when you're checking all the boxes, achieving all the things, but inside you just feel... flat? Like you're walking around in a costume that doesn't quite fit anymore?

In this episode, we're talking about something most high-achievers won't admit out loud: you can have everything and still feel like you have nothing. And no, it's not burnout. It's something deeper.

We're breaking down why you've been feeding the wrong part of you this whole time - your ego is stuffed while your soul is literally starving. Bart shares what happened when he finally realized he'd been optimizing his life for all the wrong things, and we walk through the 6 ways to actually feed your soul (spoiler: it's not another productivity hack).

This one hits different if you've ever felt numb standing in front of a Christmas tree, or if you've caught yourself wondering why achievement stopped feeling good somewhere along the way.

We also get into:

  • Why your ego is insatiable (and why feeding it more just makes it hungrier)
  • The real difference between what your ego eats vs. what your soul needs
  • That moment when you realize you've been holding your breath for years
  • Why following your "aliveness" isn't frivolous - it's the whole point

If you've been feeling like the Grinch lately - hating all the noise and abundance because it doesn't mean anything to you anymore - this conversation might be exactly what you need to hear.

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https://www.tiktok.com/@businesscoachbart

☀️ Follow Sunny on Instagram:
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SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to We Play Full Out with Barton Sonny Miller. Take it away, Sonny.

SPEAKER_00:

I love The Grinchdale Christmas. Yeah. The remake of Jim Carrey. Yeah. It's one of my favorite all-time movies. I'm not one that listens to Christmas music all year or really watches Christmas movies all year, but that's one like you can watch. It's so good. It is so good. But what I remember most is when little Cindy Lou, who starts singing, Where Are You Christmas? Why can't I find you? It's just like this gut feeling of like, oh, I know how that feels. Right? And no doubt, I think the Grinch was feeling the same way, even though he had never found Christmas in the first place. He hated toys, he hated the noise, he hated the singing, he hated the roast beef, he hated everything about it because Christmas had no meaning to him. Yeah. So it was just another unpleasant like vice that had him in his grips, like this thing, right? Okay, this is where I'm going with this. Yeah. Um, it's kind of that feeling like you're standing in front of a beautifully decorated tree, and there's all these presents underneath it. There's smell of pine in the air, and it's just that empty of like nothing's there. Can you resonate with that?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I see that in humans all the time. The exact same thing. Yeah. But yeah, I can resonate with it. In fact, um, I used to resonate with it way more than I resonate with it even more than I do now. And uh I'm glad you're bringing it up, but I still, when I hear that song, man, there's just something about it that makes all of your body just go.

SPEAKER_00:

I feel that.

SPEAKER_02:

I feel that, yeah. Yeah, it's like the song Alleluia. I don't know what it's called, but Hallelujah, you know, it's just like every time I hear that song, I don't care where I'm at, it just stops and penetrates my body, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So it's kind of like I don't know, you're supposed to smile so you do. You're supposed to laugh so you do, right at the right moments. But inside it's like that someone turned the volume down on your life. And I would say that this is not happening just at Christmas, which is where I'm going with this. Um, maybe it's been happening for a while now. It's kind of like the day-to-day where we're checking off goals. Um, we get a promotion or we hit these high revenue numbers, you buy the thing, but instead of feeling full, you just feel kind of tired. Like you're walking through your own life in a costume that doesn't quite fit anymore. And the craziest part about it is like if you were to write down your life on paper, everything looks perfect. Like what's missing, right? Um, and I think that's what it feels like when your soul is starving.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And I think what we're starving for the most, honestly, is connection and human connection because my best Christmases are the ones that I got gifts that were just so freaking thoughtful. And I can remember every single one of them. And what's interesting is most of those gifts came from my grandmother or somebody who was just, and it wasn't a gift that you know you were expecting. Like I think I told you I got dishes one year, you know, and I was like, what is this? But every time I ate off those dishes, I thought of grandma. And I just loved every second of that. It was just such an amazing thing as a kid to have my own set of dishes that weren't my mom and dad's for some reason that made a big deal. And I would get those out. And if anybody ate on my dishes, boy, there was hell to pay because they were my dishes, right? And uh, I just remember that so so well. I remember when I got a blanket that she had knitted for me. And you know, I mean, it took a long time if you saw these blankets to crochet a handmade queen size blanket, you know, but it was so impactful. And still today, when I get it out and snuggle up in it, I think of grandma.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, well, that reminds me of your brother. He got a gift from your grandma, yeah. It was uh connect four, yep, and he's still got the box, yep, and he keeps it like under his bed or something.

SPEAKER_02:

On his nightstand. I think it's his nightstand.

SPEAKER_00:

And none of the kids are allowed to use it without asking permission first because it means so much to him.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep. Yeah, and we think about you know, like so many things, but you know, when when the soul is spoken to because somebody else's soul spoke to it, and that's what I'm trying to get at, it's like you can't forget that. I mean, I'll never forget the day you gave me uh a ring, you know, and the impact that that ring had. And every time I see it, wear it, feel it, you know, and I need to be close to you, it's that thing I go to. And it's like, yes, this was so soulful for no other, you know, I can't describe it for anything. It wasn't an ordinary ring, you know? And those type of things to me are just the the like, wow, like, and it just does so much for me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and I love that you bring up connection because that's obviously one of the places we're gonna go with the soul. But you know, again, this time of year and all the craziness that happens, but we got a Christmas card in the mail the other day, and it had a Christmas story in it. Yeah, and you read it out loud to me, and it really touched me, and it's because of the human connection that happens in these stories for no other reason, but you feel that sense of I don't know, of love, of giving, of like somebody going through a hard time and somebody else helping them. Um, it's just it feeds the soul.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and that's why let's be clear the videos on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube about, you know, somebody walking up to somebody and saying, Hey, would would you buy this for me? Like I watched one today, and there was a security guard there, and you could tell he he worked hard. And this gentleman walked up to him and said, Hey, do you have a little bit of money to spare? And the guy instantly reached in his pocket, gave him everything in his pocket, and just said, Here you go. And then he asked him, he says, How long have you worked here? And he told him his whole life and this, you know, kind of told me his story. But come to find out, the dude hadn't been paid for four months and had absolutely that was his last dollars. And yet, he handed it into this guy, and he goes, How did you learn this? And he said, My grandmother always told me to just every time to give, and something would come back one day, and don't worry about it. Just give when somebody asks. So you ask. So I gave. And this guy goes, Well, today's your day. And he's like, What do you mean? And he gave him$100,000. And this guy just literally just broke down. Yeah, you know, it was amazing, but those things when the soul speaks to another soul, you will never forget that. Yeah, you will never forget that. And when we speak to our kids, when we speak to others through the soul, it penetrates. Yeah. So anyway, keep going. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, well, we're talking about maybe um living in a soul-starved life. Yes. At the moment.

SPEAKER_02:

So we very much do.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, this podcast, obviously, because we're in December, and this time of year can be so beautiful. Because even though we're hustling and bustling and we have stress, sometimes we panic. And if we're being honest, I think we have a huge desire not to let the people we love down by not being able to afford the gifts they want or like figure out what they want, or like kind of the soul thing. Like, you really want to give somebody something that means something, but it can be hard. Um, but the beautiful part about it is that it does inspire us to kind of pull inward and find true gratitude and find that true giving of ourselves and love. And then we have a tendency to kind of go outside of ourselves and look for those people in need that may be struggling and help them. Like we want to help and serve more, I think. Um, now in our We Playful Out Life Mastermind, you could say that it's a coincidence that our soul gateway landed in December. But we don't believe in coincidences. Instead, we like to just marvel at the beautiful timing of synchronicities because this is the soul month. Yep. So we got to have some really cool discussions around the soul.

SPEAKER_02:

It was a beautiful conversation.

SPEAKER_00:

It was. And you know, the soul is the magic that gives meaning to our lives. When we starve our souls, we're kind of left like little Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch wondering why our lives feel so flat, unfulfilled, and meaningless. Now, in that movie, if you watch Cindy Lou Who, everything's still happening. There's still the toys, there's still the noise, there's still like all this abundance around her, but she's starting to kind of see through all of these external things and like wondering like why am I feeling empty this year? And I think we all kind of hit that from you know, going from a kid to an adult or whatever. And it's happening in our day-to-day lives a lot without us realizing it. Like all the hustle, all the bustle, all the noise, all the toys, all the checkboxes, all the everything is going on around us. We're starting starting to feel like more and more and more and more numb, and we're not able to quite pinpoint why that's happening. So we're gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's go.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. So, in our framework, first of all, we don't say we have a soul, we say we are a soul and we have a body.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep.

SPEAKER_00:

That paradigm shift, I would say, is pretty important.

SPEAKER_02:

It's really important.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And it it really um energetically kind of lands differently in your body when you think about that, right? Um, we define the soul as the eternal, infinite part of us that existed before we came here and the part that continues when we die. Maybe, you know, you define it as spirit or something different. We're calling it the soul. It has intelligence, wisdom, and a path, and it is the deepest, truest part of who we are. So when you think about it that way, then our body is the vessel, our personality is a costume, and our ego is the character we are playing. Just kind of fun way to think about it.

SPEAKER_02:

Really cool.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Um, we starve the soul when we achieve everything the ego wants us to achieve and ignore what our soul wants. This is when that magic just doesn't seem to be in our lives anymore. We search for it, maybe we try to achieve more to fulfill that emptiness, try to get more or we try to be more, but our souls don't care about anything the ego cares about. It cares about purpose, connection, and becoming who you were meant to be. So if we truly want to live the life our soul signed up for and we don't want to feel like we're sleepwalking through life, which is that numb on the inside but smiling on the outside syndrome, then we need to start learning how to feed, connect, and follow this part of ourselves on a daily basis so that it can feel like lit up and alive again.

SPEAKER_02:

What's something that makes your soul come alive, Sonny?

SPEAKER_00:

Definitely when I sit down and do some creative expression. So when I when I take the time to play music and not think about it or like worry about what I sound like or stress about my skill level, just play.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, or when I go on walks, but we're gonna talk about this, but I can't be focused on other things while I'm walking or I don't come back fulfilled.

SPEAKER_02:

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00:

And what I found is like just those little things like feed some sort of electrical circuit in my body. And even though I come back to work and I'm working on stuff and I'm being productive and doing all the things the ego wants, I still have a sense of extra energy that I didn't have before.

SPEAKER_02:

So good.

SPEAKER_00:

How about you?

SPEAKER_02:

I think the thing that lights my soul the most is helping others. And when I see somebody that I don't know, is down or frustrated or just disconnected in some ways, to be able to just, I don't know, just let them know how powerful they are, how awesome they are, how beautiful they are, how you know amazing they are, and how grateful that you know they are in this world with us. And I think that lights my soul probably more than anything.

SPEAKER_00:

Um You're really good at that.

SPEAKER_02:

Thanks. I love uh, you know, when I can sit down and write somebody a note or send them a really cool text message and just really think it through of just like you know what my soul's telling me that I want to tell them, not just saying words, but what my soul wants to say to them. And I think um I I would say just humans, being around people and just uh feeling their energy. I love to just watch, I like to watch dance. When I watch dance, it really lights me up. I love to watch animals, you know, that just are like there's nothing funnier than watching a bunch of horses out bucking and playing and just having a great time, or a dog that's just in its high energy of having so much fun, you know. Some things like that really just, I don't know, they just fill my soul so much.

SPEAKER_00:

That's awesome. Well, here's an analogy for you. So we feed our bodies at least three meals a day. And we wouldn't dream of skipping them. But our soul kind of gets left with the crumb sometimes, or worse, nothing at all. So what happens is the ego, which is our sense of self, our personality, and our survival instincts, is insatiable. It feeds on achievement, validation, control, comparison, and external measures of success. I don't want it to like sound like the ego's like the bad guy all the time because it really like we need our egos to navigate through life. But the interesting thing about the ego is when we feed all of these things, um, the hungrier it gets. Yeah. So it's never satisfied or full. Um, you can feed your ego a promotion and it's immediately asking, what's next? Feed it a milestone, and we'll say, That's not enough. Feed it praise, and it will wonder, what do they really think? And you know, I've been in these positions. It's crazy. Like I remember um I went and ran a 10K and I won for my category, but there was an overall winner that was in my age category, therefore I wasn't good enough. You know, I've done that twice. Yeah, it's like I sit and beat myself up. Well, can't even tell anybody I'm the winner because somebody in a different category was my age and they won.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, it's just never enough. Like I'm never enough.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, the ego feeds on things like checking off a to-do list, being better than other people, keeping in check what people think of you, or at least trying to, proving you're enough, accumulating more, like money, success, or validation, and controlling outcomes to stay safe. The ego's voice is loud, it's urgent, and it's demanding, and again, it's never satisfied. So you could feed it for a hundred years and it'll still wake you up at 3 a.m. hungry for more.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. So crazy, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00:

That sounds like a fun way to live.

SPEAKER_02:

We must think so.

SPEAKER_00:

We must think so because we keep doing it. We do it. It's a little exhausting, I would say. Yeah. Um, the soul, on the other hand, feeds on something completely different. It doesn't want or need achievement or validation or control. Those things mean absolutely nothing to it. The soul feeds on presence, purpose, connection, and love. I mean, just those words alone make me feel more expansive when I say them. Yeah. The others make me feel constrictive in my body. Try it at home. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00:

The soul feeds on things like stillness and silence, being fully present in the moment, following what lights you up, creating something from nothing, giving without expecting anything back, trust in the process and connection to something bigger than yourself. And the most beautiful part about all of this is when you feed your soul, you actually feel full. Like you're satisfied, you're at peace, and the hunger stops.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, most of us have been feeding the ego for so long that we've forgotten what the soul even eats or what it needs to be fed. So let's dive into a few of those things. Um, we're gonna start talking about five, but I know of at least nine. So the first one is stillness and meditation. I and I doubt any of these will be a huge surprise, but it's worth mentioning as like starving versus being full. Um, this is the soul's primary food source. It needs silence, space, and stillness. So, like we're feeding our ego all day long with noise, stimulation, productivity, and constant doing, but our soul can't feed on any of that. And it actually becomes more of a noise like a static that blocks our soul from being able to absorb anything. And kind of like the analogy of like the ego is that friend of yours that just never, ever, ever, ever stops talking. And it's always got an opinion, always, you know, is bringing up things that happened 10 years ago or that could go wrong tomorrow, and it's just like constantly talking, and then imagine like your soul on the other end of the room just whispering to you. Like you can't hear through that, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So formal meditation is when you create space for your soul to finally get the food it needs. Just focus on your breath, create space between thoughts, and in that space the soul feeds and speaks. I think you had some good like something you learned about this.

SPEAKER_02:

I think a really good thing here is that comes to the top of my mind is that we think we can't find silence. And what we don't realize is even on a noisy train, if you can just listen to the noise, listen to the rails, listen to the things around, you do actually find silence.

SPEAKER_00:

Kind of and be more present with everything.

SPEAKER_02:

That's just it, just being present. The other thing we can find is that most of us, when we're driving, have to have the radio going, or we have to be listening to a podcast. Why not just shut it all off and just be? And just be with you, right? That can just be so powerful and just be your meditation. It's just your drive by itself. Another thing I find is sometimes when we eat, we don't sit and enjoy the actual food itself.

SPEAKER_00:

Sometimes we don't even know we've eaten, really.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. So sit while you're there and just enjoy how that food feels in your mouth. Let the stillness of just being there, being present, finding yourself just overwhelm your body. And I think those are just little things you can do in stillness.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I think you said something about thoughts on our call too. I'm trying to remember exactly giving gratitude for thoughts instead of trying to chase them out of your Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So when you're meditating itself, I see what you're saying. Yeah. So when you're when you're meditate, one of the things that helped me the most in my meditation was I have a very just like my brain is on, it wants to fire, fire, fire. I have a million things thinking through my head. Sonny has songs, I have thoughts. So in that, what I what I was when I was trying to learn to meditate, I really would get so frustrated because I couldn't like get the thoughts out. And I'd be like, oh my gosh, there's another one. So what I had to start doing was is literally when I would hear a thought come in my head, I would say, Thank you for showing up. Can you actually show up in another hour? That would be awesome. Right now I'm just trying to be still. And the more gratitude I had for when a thought popped in my head and I thanked it and just, you know, whatever, even just like, thank you for showing up, but right now I'm doing this. All of a sudden they started to lessen and they started to quiet for me, and my mind quieted. And it was interesting that when I would just try to avoid the thought or just go back, it would just keep coming. But as soon as I acknowledge Knowledge that it was there and that it was okay, and that you know, like no big deal, but hey, this isn't the time. It was amazing how much my brain started to quiet, and I could actually get deep, deep into meditation.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's awesome. I remember um watching Sadhguru, who's I don't know, hard to explain who he is, but he was talking about how we actually don't want to just like cut our thoughts clear off. It'd be like telling our heart to stop beating. So it that we wouldn't do that. So I love I love your approach to that. Um, I've used Headspace quite a bit, and it does teach you this process, and it's so fun and easy to go through. So if that's something that interests you, check out Headspace. Very good. Um, but again, it doesn't have to be formal. Like you're just saying it's like the presence and the stillness that you want. So maybe it's early in the morning while you're drinking a cup of coffee, but you're just by yourself. There's no phone, there's no agenda. Um, it's just like you and the steam rising up from your mug. Could be in the shower. One of our friends does a lot of meditating in the shower. Just let the water drown out everything else. And I think the first time your soul gets fed, you'll know, like you'll feel something shift. It's like you've been clenching your jaw for years and suddenly it releases. It feels so good. Um, number two, one of my favorite is walking in nature, which I call soul walking. And the purpose is not to walk for exercise. That's feeding your body or your ego's need to optimize. And it's not walking while listening to a podcast or planning your day, which I'm also guilty of, but that's feeding your brain. Um, it's walking to feed your soul. So you want to leave your phone and your music behind and just be with nature. And when you walk with the intention to connect with your soul, something really does shift. You start to notice things like the way the light hits the trees and makes them look like they're glowing from the inside. The sound of the wind that you suddenly realize has been there all along, like a conversation that's been happening. Like you're saying on the train, like you start to notice all of these things. Um, you feel the ground beneath your feet solid and real, reminding you that you're here, you're alive, and you're present. And your soul feeds on presence, on beauty, and on being connected to something alive and real that isn't asking for anything from you.

SPEAKER_02:

That's so good.

SPEAKER_00:

And I have noticed the times that I do go walk and I'm like working on something for work, or even sometimes if it's something like I just want to research because I'm interested in it, I come home, but I don't feel fulfilled from being out with the trees like I do when I'm just with them.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I find that's why they I love this term nature bath. Yeah, and I think it's not a nature shower for a reason. I think there's a real thing about words and you know how powerful words are. And when I first heard the nature bath, I was like, wow, how much do you prep for a bath versus a shower? How quick is a bath versus a shower? Da-da-da-da-da.

SPEAKER_00:

Plus, it's more immersive, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, it's totally immersive, and you're laying down in a more vulnerable position. So, therefore, you know, there's so much to be said about what you're saying in having what they call today nature baths. And some countries even pay people to go have nature baths. And I think that whole reason is because that gives them the ability to connect to their soul and back to what they truly, truly are looking for. And so I love that term. So take yourself a nature bath and uh allow yourself to just be present in the bath and even prep yourself if you want to with certain smells, with certain candles, with certain whatever it might be, and run that water at the exact temperature that you need it at. Because when you do that, your your experience will be totally different than hopping in the shower and hopping back out.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I love that. Okay, number three is breath work. So your breath is the bridge between your body and your soul. When you consciously work with your breath, you're creating a direct line of communication with your soul, and you're literally feeding your soul oxygen, but not just physical oxygen, it's energetic life force. But let me tell you, I get buzzing with that while I'm doing breath work. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02:

It's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, here's something like I don't think very many people realize, and this has been an epiphany for me within the last few months, and actually, you're the one that pointed it out to me. Um, most people have been holding their breath, not literally, but living in that shallow chest breathing, fight or flight mode for so long, they've forgotten what it feels like to actually breathe.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I was astonished when you pointed that out to me. I was like, that is so true. That is what I've been doing. And when I do it, um, I I I gasp, I have a hard time catching my breath. Like, yeah, and I and I realized that's probably what I was doing throughout most of my day. Now I'm a lot more conscious of it, and I try to take deeper breaths through my belly and all the things that I should be doing. But I mean, when you're in fight or flight, that's how you breathe.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's so interesting too because we know this. Like, if I were to choke you, how long would it take you to pass out? Right. Yeah. Now you can go without water, you can go without food, you can go without sunlight, you can go without, but you can't go without air.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

And so when we start to use our breath and our air to our advantage, it is mind-blowing what happens to our soul, yeah, and how it for no better term, it blows you up. Because it's like blowing up a balloon if you've never done it. A lot of people will blow up a balloon and almost pass out.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Because they're like, oh my gosh, that took so much out of me. Because they haven't blown up their system. They haven't prepared their lungs, they haven't prepared the whole system that is what keeps them alive.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

It keeps their soul alive, is their air. And I find that fascinating that we we take that for, you know, like, I'm gonna get my water in every day, I'm gonna get my food in every day, I'm gonna get my run in every day, but I'm not taking the time to get the air inside my body the way it needs it to really make my soul alive.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so good. And you know, the thing with shallow breathing too is that it feeds the ego sphere. Because when you think about fight or fight, you're scared.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on.

SPEAKER_00:

Your nervous system is freaked out, you know? So deep conscious breathing does feed the soul.

SPEAKER_02:

It's one way to tell if your nervous system's jacked.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So if you're wondering right now, is my nervous system out of whack? Watch your breath.

SPEAKER_00:

Or have somebody else watch your breath while you're not thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02:

I guarantee you, you'll know.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So one really simple method is box breathing, which you can do for five to ten minutes. Uh, four seconds, inhale, hold for four, exhale for four. I think this is a really good exercise. Um, like maybe when you sit down to go to work or maybe when you first get up in the morning, go to bed at night. I we I remember watching an episode with the, I think they were CIA, and when their agents are extremely high situations where anxiety is high, fear is high, all things high. This is actually the technique they tell them to do, right?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's right. Exactly right. Because once again, back to the nervous system. You can say my nervous system isn't out of whack when you're at home. But all of a sudden, there's a situation, let's say you're gonna have to perform at XYZ and you start to shallow breathe, that's when you know, you know, that's your nervous system. Yeah. So that's when you know there's like, holy crap, I have some something built up around this, and that's what'll give you the real send-off. So if you'll do box breathing at that point in time, the system can't it can't be in that nervous fight or flight state. You're telling it you're safe. Yeah, that's how you get to safety. So anytime, it doesn't matter what it is, if you feel a ton of anxiety, instantly go to your breath and you can solve it and teach your nervous system how to be safe in the situation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And then there's conscious connected breathing, and this is deeper work. Uh, you can do this. You can set a timer for 20 to 30 minutes and breathe in and out through your mouth with no pause between exhale and inhale. But this can be intense if you've never done it before and don't know what to expect. So I would highly suggest if you're going to try that, to research it a little bit or reach out to us because Bart is certified in breathwork and he is an amazing, amazing facilitator there.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and I love it.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, number four is journaling. So, journaling is how you feed your soul truth. Uh, your ego feeds on stories about the past and worries about the future. Your soul feeds on what's real right now. Again, presence will come up over and over and over again. Uh, this is one of the most direct ways to access your soul's wisdom. So here's how to do it. Ask your soul a question, and you can like write it on the top of a paper if you want to, and then write your answer without filtering it. You don't want to think, you don't want to edit, don't worry if it makes sense, just let your hand move. Uh, what comes out will surprise you. Sometimes it'll be profound, sometimes it'll be weird, and sometimes it'll be exactly what you needed to hear, but you are too scared to admit it. So, some questions you could ask, these are just some ideas. I'm sure you have others. What do I need to know right now? What is my soul calling me to do? What wants to express through me? And the key is to get your ego out of the way. Your ego wants to sound smart, it wants to be right, it wants to say the correct thing. And again, your soul doesn't care about any of that. It just wants to tell you the truth.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's so good. I think the main thing here for me is when I do this, is allowing myself to really write what's in my heart, not to filter it, like you say. And sometimes I have to divide the paper because I'm like, I need to split this up, you know. Um, because as soon as I start to get a lot of these things out, then all of a sudden I'm like, wow, but then I find this beauty, you know, and so and and the other part too is when I start to write for some reason, and I'm not, I'm not, I don't draw, but I want to draw.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

It's funny, like I think I gotta write this in a word, but really I start to just draw something, and I just I don't even know what it's gonna be. And all of a sudden it turns into something. Yeah, and so I'll have like this line of writing, and then if you go through my my journals, you'll see like all of a sudden all these scribbles and lines and this and that and the other, and it makes no sense, not even to myself. But I just sit and draw for a second, and then all of a sudden something will hit me, and then I start writing again, and then I'll go back to the drawing. And I don't know why I go back to the drawing, but I go back to the drawing for a minute, and then I'll start writing some more, and sometimes then I'll start drawing something else. But it's just uh a really thing that triggers inside of me that when I start to do things, I always want to draw something. Yeah. So if you find that in yourself, or if you like to color, or you like different types of pens because you want different colors as you write, I'll have that same thing.

SPEAKER_00:

If I have one of those pens that have colors, you the click the top, yeah, I'll switch colors because I feel like I need to switch colors. Those were the coolest things when I was a kid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So if you find those things about yourself, create yourself that type of uh space and just do that. The other thing that's really cool for me in journaling is I like it to be a unique journal.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

You know, I don't know why, but I do. I like something that's unique for some reason. So anyway, um, just journaling though is so powerful to just release.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, for sure. Um, number five is movement. So yoga dance, uh, your soul feeds on being in your body, not just thinking about your body. Our souls are embodied. This isn't about how you look or how flexible you are or whether you're doing it right. This is about feeling your body move and letting it feed your soul with aliveness. Yep. Again, it could be yoga, it could be ecstatic dance. This is the kind where you close your bedroom door, turn on music, and move in ways that would look absolutely ridiculous to anyone watching. Um, maybe it's qi gong or tai chi. Doesn't matter what it is. What matters is you're moving with presence and not just going through the motions. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And if I can give you one thing here, it would be 90% of your trauma is trapped in your hips. So if you're gonna move, move your freaking hips. So no, and that's why yoga poses everything become challenging, is because generally speaking, you're tight in your hips. There you go. So really, really, really move those hips and release the hips. Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

So you know you're feeding your soul when you stop thinking about what you look like and start feeling what it's like to be alive in your body. And that sensation, that full body aliveness really does feed the soul.

SPEAKER_02:

It does.

SPEAKER_00:

And number six, we're gonna oh, how many did I say I was gonna do?

SPEAKER_02:

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00:

We'll do one more. Okay, I might have said five, but creative expression. And I love this because you talked about it with the journaling, but your soul feeds on creation. We are creators, we are here to create. Um, we want to make something that didn't exist before. Express what's inside you and let it take form in the world. The key is to create without judgment. Like, don't create to impress anyone. You're not creating to be good at something, you're creating to feed your soul, and your soul honestly doesn't care if what you make is quote unquote good. It cares that you made it. So painting, drawing, singing, playing music, writing poetry or stories. Um, I think even photography or just anything that kind of brings out that artistic part of you, it doesn't matter. I think maybe even working on an automobile, you know, for sure. Or like we were talking the other day, you doing some leather work or something. I mean, that's all creative expression. Um yeah, just the ego feeds on being good enough, which is why we've got to take that out of our vocabulary here. Your soul feeds on creating, so give it that space and watch how you feel.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and this is interesting, and I know this may resonate with you, may not, but I'll I'll double dog dairy on this. And most of you have created your signature, which means you've actually designed it the way you like to sign your name. So I dare you to sign something and then turn around and tear it up. It's harder than you think, and that's why in manipulation, people will put a piece of paper down and say, sign here. When somebody signs it, and they say, Okay, do you want to read through this and go through it? Even if they read through it and they don't like it, they don't want to tear it up.

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_02:

Because they've signed it. And it's because, in my theory, now this has not been studied and proven, it's because you created that. That is your essence, that is your energy you're putting down there because it's what you label yourself as that stamp. And so I think it's very interesting because when you go to like Japan, your honko, which is your stamp, is customly created and it's a signature that's designed just for your family. And it's different because you get it passed to you.

SPEAKER_00:

Where in the United States, you're saying like your grandpa would give it to your daughter.

SPEAKER_02:

So like there would be a Miller, yeah. That that signature passes on. And you can get your own honko too, obviously. But like for us, we create our signatures, and they are so powerful, and a lot of us spend a lot of time on our signature.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

And they're unique only to us. That's why we have to sign documentation. So it's really fascinating when you try to tear up or to yeah, tear up your own signature.

SPEAKER_00:

Interesting. I'm gonna try it.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, do it.

SPEAKER_00:

All right, so this week, or even for the rest of this month, if you're up for it, we invite you to commit to at least one of these practices every day. Not because you should, not because it will make you more productive or successful, but because you But it will. But it will. Side note. Uh, but because you deserve to feel the magic of aliveness again. You really do. You know, you feed your body three times a day without thinking about it. It's time to feed your soul with the same devotion. And I really think you'll be astonished at how much more energy you have and how much grounded you will feel. And, you know, maybe you'll be like the cringe and you'll feel like your heart grew three sizes, and the magic of life will flow back into your day-to-day reality. But it's not because you found something new, it's because you finally fed the part of you that's been starving for a while.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, so good. I love that, and I love it so much, and I'm so grateful that you took the time to put this amazing podcast together. It fills my soul.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02:

So, out there, I hope you guys had your souls filled today. If this is powerful to you and you can fill somebody else's soul today with this, send that on to them. We would greatly appreciate it. We're so grateful for you, the listener. We can't send enough gratitude your way or prayers your way for what you have done for us listening to us. We know that your time is precious. So, this segment brought to you by I do epic.

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Bart Miller

Host
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Sunny Miller

Host