We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

The One Thing You Can't Ever Outrun

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 96

Share episode

It's December. The office is quiet. Your family is waiting. But you're still at your desk, bathed in blue light, staring at the 2026 spreadsheet.

You're not planning. You're running.

You're running from the goals you didn't hit. The hard conversations you avoided. The quiet, gnawing feeling that even after all the wins, you still don't feel like you've arrived.

In this episode, we're talking about the year you can't outrun, and why you need to stop trying.

We dive into:

• The integrity gap: the exhausting cost of maintaining the distance between who you say you are and who you actually are
• Why "more" is a drug that keeps you from ever feeling "enough"
• How you're training your nervous system to never arrive by constantly chasing what's next
• The 3-step completion ritual: The Brutal Truth Audit, The Funeral & Celebration, and The Energetic Severance

This isn't about setting better goals. It's about completing the year with integrity before you rush into the next one.

Because you cannot build a powerful future on top of an unprocessed past.

If you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or already planning 2026 to avoid sitting with 2025—this episode is for you.

---

Resources:
• Join our weekly newsletter: weplayfullout.com/subscribe

Share this episode with an entrepreneur who needs to hear it.

----

Not getting our weekly We Play Full Out newsletter delivered to your inbox? You can get it right here: https://www.weplayfullout.com

----

Join the Daily Momentum Mastermind - a mastermind with built-in accountability. Connect between calls, find collaborators, and build your network.

Start Your Free 7-Day Trial Here: https:/www.dailymomentummastermind.com

----

👉🏻 Follow Bart on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/bartallanmiller_

👉🏻 Follow Bart on TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@businesscoachbart

☀️ Follow Sunny on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/sunnylynnmiller

☀️ Follow Sunny on TikTok:
https://www.tiktok.com/@sunnylynnmiller

SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to We Playful Out with Bart and Sonny Miller. Let's go, Sonny. Let's have some fun. Let's have a really cool conversation today.

SPEAKER_01:

Dude, I'm so ready to do that.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's go.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, it's kind of, you know, December 5th today, as we're recording this. End of the year.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We've got all the hustle and bustle of everything December brings. And then there's that little thing at the end of the year, too, where it's like you have to look back over your year, or you get to, as you say, look back over your year, and really start to kind of digest what that year has meant.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep. You get to do the review.

SPEAKER_01:

Sometimes it can be a little stressful.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And sometimes we just go full bore ahead without doing it at all. Right. So imagine this. Okay. The office is quiet. Holiday party leftovers are in the fridge. Your family is waiting, but you're still at your desk, bathed in the blue light of a screen, mainlining the most dangerous drug on the market, the 2026 spreadsheet. You're not just planning, you're actually running. You're running from the sting of the goals you didn't hit. I know I felt those. Yeah. You're running from the echo of the hard conversations you avoided. Again, fingers pointed at me. You're running from the quiet, gnawing feeling that even after all the wins, the revenue and the growth, you still don't feel like you have arrived. What I've kind of found and a lot because we've been entrepreneurs for a long time. December for entrepreneurs has become the great escape. Yeah. We use the frantic energy of finishing strong and the seductive lure of next year's potential to outrun the one thing we can't escape, and that is the truth of the year we actually lived.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

The problem with this is you cannot build a powerful future on top of an unprocessed past. And the attempt to do so is actually costing you everything.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I can agree with that. And I think so many times when I get to the holiday seasons, right? I want to look at the holidays as like joy, fun, play, because that's what they're supposed to be. And you know, we all know why we have these major sales, and a lot of companies never even get into the profit until actual December.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's why we have Black Friday, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Right, exactly. So it's like so many pressures around this holiday for entrepreneurs. And I think, you know, it's like, okay, what do we do for taxes? What do we do here? There's so many things that I think what we want to do is just escape it all, run from it all, at the same time try to enjoy it all and be present with it all, but it can be so overwhelming.

SPEAKER_01:

Exhausting. Um, this isn't just about feeling tired. I'm gonna say a strong statement here. This is about the slow motion erosion of your soul. Yeah. So this is really easy to again imagine or picture. A seven-figure founder who hits the number his team has been bleeding for all year. They pop the champagne, he gives the speech, but he feels nothing. The dopamine hit lasts for a single hollow minute before his mind is already on the eight-figure goal. He's celebrating with his people, but he's already in a 2026 planning meeting with himself. He's a ghost at his own victory party.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Can't say as I haven't been there or done that.

SPEAKER_01:

I know. And then here's the other one. It's the leader who posts on social media about hustle and flow and being a present parent, but is secretly checking emails under the table during his daughter's holiday play. His body's in the auditorium, but his nervous system is in his inbox. He thinks no one notices, but his team sees the hypocrisy and his family feels the absence. And here's that beautiful gap that we've been talking about a lot. The gap between the identity he's selling and the life he's living is a canyon of self-betrayal. Now, I guarantee he doesn't realize this. Yeah. But the world can only respect you as much as you respect yourself. And interestingly enough, this identity gap is the most exhausting deficit in your life. It requires more energy to maintain a lie than it does to build an empire. They can be sneaky little things. Like we've talked about this a lot in our We Playful Life Mastermind, because so many times we we honestly, like we would swear up and down, think we're showing up differently than we are. Yeah, that's so good. It's like our minds see us as one way, but our actions are actually telling another story.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I remember one year when we were doing really well in e-commerce, and you had a little chime that would tell us every time we got a sell. And I remember being in an event and literally being like, Oh my gosh, there it goes, there it goes, there it goes. And I thought I was present at the event. At the same time, I was so excited about the chimes going off. But you know, in hindsight, now I look back and go, what's more important than the event I was at? Why why would I even want to hear the chime?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, but yet something inside of me was like that dopamine hit that I needed so badly that I couldn't even be present when I thought I was trying to be present. And I had a way to justify it because, well, if we don't have this, then we wouldn't be here. And so you play this game all the time, which is crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and you know, the more you say the word present, I think it is, you know, we're saying here in December that if you want to give the ultimate present, be present.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, we have some of our kids always looking for gifts or you know, stressing about things and wanting to make sure everybody's happy. And I'm like, just come over. Yeah, spend time with us. Like, what better gift is that?

SPEAKER_00:

Amen to that.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, so we tend to stress ourselves.

SPEAKER_00:

I wish that all give us a coupon book of how many times they're gonna come and we could hold them accountable to just coming in to visit us for every one of the coupons, you know, because I'd be like, that is the ultimate gift. I get to see you, be with you, and spend time with you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, for sure. Okay, kind of back to our stories here. So that integrity gap. Why do we do this? Why do we chase the next thing with a desperation that borders on madness? It's because more is a hell of a drug. It's the perfect distraction from the emptiness of the now, right? The next goal, the next launch, the next hire is a convenient way to avoid the terrifying stillness of asking, did any of this actually make me happy? Did I make a meaning or just a living?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and I think this brings me back to why you've got to have a why, why you've got to have a North Star so that you have something to really measure against that's not just your business.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that, and I could not agree more. Um, and when you talk about North Star, do you want to expand on that a little for those who don't know what that is?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so we have that in our our codex, which is called the North Star, and we have a whole program, it's an 11-step program that helps you really identify what you really want. And when you figure that out, that's called your North Star. And so what you do is you sit down with you, your significant other, you go through this program, and by the time you're done, you're like, okay, now we know what we're after. We know exactly. So, for example, Sonny and I, every year when we do our planning, we sit down and write down a number. Now, let's say that six months into the year, we hit that number. We do not, and I mean this seriously, we don't care to surpass that number. We set that goal for a purpose to hit our North Star, which means our travel, our other things that we all have set out to do as a family, be present, do all these other things. So, you know, everything at our North Star is what we balance against. And if a new opportunity comes to us, if it doesn't fit our North Star, it's not an opportunity for us. Doesn't mean it wasn't a great opportunity, doesn't mean anything. It's like no offense to anybody, but it just didn't fit our North Star and what we wanted to do. So therefore we we pass on it. But it gives you something to really check everything in life against to make sure it fits what you really want.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and it takes a lot of reflection um in a very, very good way, let's be clear, and awareness and really clarity, clarity of your life. Because, you know, as I read that last statement, um I think we're all a little bit terrified of ourselves.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Like, what are we gonna find in the stillness?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, is it that judgy voice? Is it the not good enough? Is it I'm not perfect enough? I've got to do more, I've got to be more, I've got to be seen, I've got to be heard, like all of those things can be really, really hard to look at.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and I think that's what's so beautiful about the North Star is when you're measuring against that, you're not measuring against the neighbor. You're not measuring against another entrepreneur, you're measuring against your North Star and what you really, truly want. So, for example, you know, for Sonny and I, one of our things this year is declutter. Really, really focus on not buying anything. We don't need really, truly anything that we don't already have. So therefore, being disciplined doesn't matter how much more money we make, doesn't mean you need to buy more stuff, if that makes sense. So it really comes down to declutter, de minimalize, really focus on what we want to focus on. And that's part of our North Star, right? And I think that's the thing you want to get dialed in on.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah, I love that. Um here's the thing about that chasing more. Like constantly rushing to what's next, you're training your nervous system to never arrive. You're conditioning your body on a cellular level to believe that safety, satisfaction, and success are always in the future, never here and never now. That's why you can't just rest in January. Your body literally doesn't know how. You've taught it that stillness is a threat. You've wired it for a state of chronic low-grade anxiety where the only relief is the next hit of progress. You're not just tired, you're actually bankrupting your own biology.

SPEAKER_00:

Crazy.

SPEAKER_01:

And you know, again, like knowing North Star, whether you're in our program or not, doesn't matter. It's like having that clarity gives you that foundation where you can sit and look at yourself and really move forward the way you want to move forward instead of, and I'm so guilty of this of like unconsciously jumping into your day, checking all the boxes, getting your tasks done, um, being exhausted by the end, being productive, let's be clear. But then looking back and go, wait, was I even like tuned into myself at all? Am I even happy? Am I just doing this to do this? You know, there's a lot to it. Yep. So we're gonna talk about the radical act of completion. I love the I love the term radical. It's awesome. I want to be radical.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's go, let's be radical.

SPEAKER_01:

If you want 2026 to be different, you have to do the one thing you're trying to avoid. You have to stop. You have to stand still long enough to let the year catch up to you, and you have to complete it. Now, completion is not a passive review, it's a sacred and often brutal act of leadership. It's not about judging the year, it's about honoring the truth of it. Yeah. I love that so much. Me too. So, first thing, this is a simple, like three-step ritual. The first one is the brutal truth audit. Get a piece of paper, write down the wins, the losses, the almost, and the what the freaks. What did you say you would do? What did you actually do, and where is the gap? And don't judge it, just witness it. This is the raw and unfiltered data of your year. Next one is hold a funeral and a celebration. You cannot move forward with integrity until you've honored what was. Grieve what didn't happen. Like let yourself feel it. The failed launch, the strained partnership, the missed opportunity. Let the disappointment land. Feel fully. Then and only then can you celebrate what did happen. I can imagine there's going to be small acts of courage, lessons learned, and the moments you showed up when you wanted to hide. Then you get to feel the pride of that. You cannot have one without the other.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. So good.

SPEAKER_01:

And the last one is the energetic severance. So this is the final non-negotiable step. You must consciously declare the year complete. This is an energetic act. We are energy beings. We need to address our energies. Burn the audit, delete the old project folders from your desktop. Stand up and say out loud, I think 2025 for its lessons, and I release it. It is complete. You cannot carry the energetic weight of an unfinished year into a new one. It will poison everything you try to build. Memorial story, stop running. Right. Future you're so desperate to create can only be built on the foundation of a present you're willing to fully inhabit. Let the year end, let the lessons integrate, and let yourself arrive.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I love that example so much. So good in the fact of just, you know what, honor it. You know, have the grieving moments, celebrate the great things, but let the past be the past. Because like we've talked before, feelings buried alive never die. Therefore, feelings that you still have that you try to take into a new year, they're not dead. You've got to let them be, move on, know that it's a new day, know it's a new year, and don't look back.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I wouldn't say like we're sitting here like anti-goal setting or anti-growth in your revenue or your business or like whatever you're trying to accomplish in your life. But I think that stillness, that looking inward, that honoring what was, and then you know, letting parts of that go is just such a beautiful and important thing to do. And it's such a like a gift that we can give ourselves. You want to be present, give yourself a present in December. What a beautiful way to do it. I agree.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, so good. Yeah. So um, I think the biggest thing, if we can encourage you, which we want to leave this on a high note, is you've done a lot, you are awesome. But the best way to clear all your energy is get that notebook out, write these things down, go through the process and absolutely love yourself for being who you are, be present with yourself, be present with your family, and give them those big hugs that they deserve. And uh, let's have a heck of a new year.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I would just chime in here. Like if you're listening to this and you're like, oh, I can't write this down right now. I want to do this, but I'm gonna forget. Go to weeplyfullout.com and subscribe to our newsletter, and you will see it all right there in our latest episode. Well, if it's later in the year, look for the December 5th episode newsletter.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

And it's all written out for you. All you gotta do is pop it open and follow along with it.

SPEAKER_00:

Take some notes. All right, you guys. Well, we hope you enjoyed this. We can't uh thank you enough as the listener. I know sometimes it's hard to listen to podcasts and pass them on and do all the things, but whatever you can do, we would appreciate it. And we're so grateful for you, the listener, and what you've done for us. And this episode brought to you by I Do Epic.

Head Shot

Bart Miller

Host
Head Shot

Sunny Miller

Host