We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

The Hidden Mindset Seduction: How Words Quietly Script Your Life

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 86

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In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that has people whispering everywhere right now: hidden mindset seduction. Words don’t just describe reality, they shape it. From tribes that literally see the world differently based on their vocabulary, to Orwell’s warning in 1984, to the subtle ways buzzwords program our identity… we’ll show you how language works like invisible strings pulling at your mind.

We even share why we threw out the word “marriage” after 30 years and chose “partnership” instead...and the firestorm it caused. Plus, you’ll hear a chilling story about how a heart transplant patient solved a murder, proving just how much memory and meaning can live beyond the conscious mind.

By the end of this conversation, you’ll never hear words the same way again—and you’ll know exactly how to reclaim your language so you can reclaim your life.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

Bart, what do you think about the term hidden mindset seduction?

Speaker 1:

Ooh, I like it because there's a really cool word in there called seduction and I like that word.

Speaker 2:

What about hidden?

Speaker 1:

Hidden Even more exciting.

Speaker 2:

Maybe, Well, why is everyone suddenly whispering about hidden mindset seduction? It's because words don't just describe reality, they shape it.

Speaker 1:

Oh, boy, do they ever?

Speaker 2:

We're going to talk a lot about that if you're not convinced right now.

Speaker 1:

You will be by the end.

Speaker 2:

So a dear friend of ours, dr Alexandra Zurov, recently shared with us this quote by Ludwig Wittgenstein. I don't know if I said that right. He said the limits of my language mean the limits of my world.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so good.

Speaker 2:

If language is a lens through which we experience life, then the size of your vocabulary directly influences the size of your reality.

Speaker 1:

Your world, exactly so I'm going to start reading the dictionary, yeah. And I think what was cool about that conversation that we had is how she talked about. She speaks, I think, at least six languages and sort of their sister. When they communicate with each other, they use certain words, like, let's say, spanish and then a German and then, and they intermingle all these words because they have such different meanings and so their worlds are so broader much broader because of the way they can use this vocabulary.

Speaker 2:

And I thought that was a really beautiful thing. Yeah, some just don't have a direct translation in the language they're using, so they'll just pop over to something else.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Fascinating. So good Um, think about the words you use every day to describe your day to day and your emotions. Do they feel kind of repetitive, like happy, sad, grateful, stressed, tired?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for sure. And I think this is the same thing as when we talked about before the observer effect. We don't realize it because we don't pay attention to it and we don't journal enough, so we don't actually write them down and go look and see how many times we repeat ourselves yeah, and kind of a rabbit hole maybe.

Speaker 2:

But like, maybe you do feel sad, but maybe there's different forms of sadness for different reasons and they should be described differently.

Speaker 1:

Totally.

Speaker 2:

So what if you expanded them? Imagine describing yourself as exultant, or I'm in the depths of despair, or awash in reverence. Suddenly, your inner landscape is richer and more nuanced, in other words language either widens or shrinks the texture of your life.

Speaker 1:

I would also say you're more understood. Yeah, for sure, because, just like what you say, you know sad. Well, sad has so many meanings. Like I'm. I'm sad, but I'm really happy for this moment, but I'm sad that happened. Yeah, you know what I mean, or no? I'm freaking, crying my eyes out. I'm super sad because I just got dumped by my girlfriend or boyfriend. You know, it's very fascinating, but when you expand the word sad, and you enrich it. It gives everybody a richer landscape to see into you.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and that kind of leads me to did you know there is an Inuit tribe who has? They have over 50 words for snow, 50 words.

Speaker 1:

I have 56. They're all not very good when it starts where words don't count. Oh, they don't count. That's not what you're talking about different ways to describe snow.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay but their ability to perceive and describe snow because, like it's their livelihood, they've got to like understand it at such a deeper level is way more intricate than our here in Idaho, where we just say snow, hey, it's snowing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And we recognize, like when snow's dry or when snow's wet, or when it's good packing snow or like whatever, but we just still call it snow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

Now here this one blows my mind in such a good way. The Himba tribe in Namibia have many different words for green, and I can't remember how many, but they have so many that they can easily distinguish subtle shades of green that the rest of us cannot see. And I've seen kind of a color wheel of this and they look exactly the same to me. But here's the twist their language does not have a separate word for blue. Twist their language does not have a separate word for blue. So when they're shown a color wheel with one blue square among green ones, many of them cannot pick out the blue at all. To them it literally blends to green.

Speaker 2:

So if your language doesn't give you a word for a color, your brain doesn't flag it as different. You don't just miss the word, you miss the reality. Yeah, what does that open up for you? I'm like how much is there around me to experience and see that my brain just can't do it because I don't have the language to perceive it yeah, it's just not in your personal reality yeah it's a very interesting yeah it's, but to me it's like oh, how could you?

Speaker 2:

how can you explore things that don't exist in your reality? Amen right that'd be really cool to figure out well, I think you're figuring it out.

Speaker 1:

It's by learning different languages, it's by exploring different ways that people look at things and start to look at snow and say, oh, maybe I can see it this way. Or just, uh, live with Jessica for a little while. We had that experience in Boise. She speaks English, but there's a lot of vocabulary there that you know what I mean. I mean it sounds funny, but what would that do for you? How would it expand you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, or maybe come up with some of your own words.

Speaker 1:

Well, people do that, Start using them.

Speaker 2:

You know, like, you know, think about yeah, anyway, Well people do that, you know, like you know think about yeah anyway. Okay, so you pointed this out to me.

Speaker 1:

You brought this to my attention that there's some conspiracy theories online right now that chat, gpt and other learning language models are intentionally programmed to leave certain words out. Why is that? Well, it changes the way that we as a culture will accept things or not accept things. It's funny, because there's so many studies on this In fact, alex brought a book up on this too and how they did this in Poland, and we've seen this in our own country too that it changes a lot of different things. When we take certain words out of the vocabulary, we forget, and then we have no way to describe what is happening in that situation. So how can you rally around a situation?

Speaker 2:

yeah, and I like that and I was thinking about this, like if we don't have a word for something anymore, like if it's been erased, um, then does that aspect of us cease to exist? And in a way, it kind of does so. If a culture loses words I don't know that it can for sure not immediately erase the underlying human experience, but it does change how people perceive, access and express that experience and over time, like you were just saying, it becomes harder to notice, harder to share and harder to think about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, and over time, like you were just saying, it becomes harder to notice, harder to share and harder to think about. Yeah, well, over generations of time we've seen this happen. I mean, we all know. If you went back 20 years ago and said iPhone, everybody would look at you like well, what? But you say iPhone today and it's a normal word and it means a lot of different things. Well, bring up vinyl records or CDs, or yeah, eight tracks, eight tracks, that's a better one, eight tracks, and your kids look at you like.

Speaker 2:

What language are you speaking?

Speaker 1:

Right, but to us it even means a different way that we listen to music, the way we heard music, the way. I mean so many things, but sometimes and I don't know if it's obsolete, but it had to do with the history of music- yeah, yeah, okay.

Speaker 2:

So um Again, like if society erases, say, the word sovereignty from common use, people still feel the urge for it, but they can't rally around it. It becomes invisible, unspoken and eventually unthinkable. Now, if you've read the book 1984 by George Orwell, he invented newspeak, which meant by shrinking vocabulary, the regime literally shrank the scope of possible thoughts. Crazy, crazy. Okay. Now we're going to kind of flip it a little bit. So it's not only about erasing words. Words themselves can seduce us into believing the frame of thought they came wrapped in. In other words, they can also enslave us. Every buzzword believe it or not, is a spell and every slogan is an invisible string pulling you into someone's agenda. Mainstream language is not neutral. It's engineered not to just sell you products but identities. If you don't catch that code, you end up living exactly the way someone else intended you to yeah, because they're casting a spell with her language.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that brings us to our recent Instagram post. That was so amazing. Yeah, all right, we recently posted that, after 30 years of marriage, we threw out the word marriage and chose the term partnership, and what happened was we immediately lost seven followers and we had one kind of I I would say triggered man comments. Snarky. He said yeah, a binding pledge or promise is probably too strong for most. A lot easier to have partner and not be so committed. At first I was like did you read that we've been together for 30 years? Like, did you skip over that?

Speaker 1:

part Right Talk about yourself for a second.

Speaker 2:

We recognize that that can be triggering. And actually, you know, if we were to go back in time and we first had the conversation and you said, hey, like I don't really like this term anymore, I like partnership, I was triggered. I was like no, like that's sacred to me, Like why would you want to do away with this term that describes our sacred union or whatever? What was your thought process there?

Speaker 1:

Well to me. I just looked at it and said marriage really is a sacred union. But what I'm saying in that is you start to go and see that there's people who have prenuptial agreements and in their prenuptial agreement they're calling it a marriage. But it always looked to me like they had an agreement. But people were upset and I I just used to watch a lot of stuff on this thing and what I really found was it gave clarity to the couple in so many ways and a lot of prenuptial agreements, too, weren't just around finances. You know, they, they, they were too. I mean, let's be clear. But like, anyway, I'm not going to get on this, this tangent or rant, but it was just really cool because they just started off something with such a greater understanding and expansion and could take away and do these kinds of things which you can do in a business and all sorts of things.

Speaker 1:

But for me, I think the biggest thing is is it in a marriage? What I don't like about that term, and especially for us, is that it really my grandmother. I was raised by my grandmother and marriage to her meant everything in the house was to be done by her. She cooked, she cleaned, she did all these. She had a role that was defined by that term and she stood by it, which was awesome.

Speaker 1:

But when we got married, we kind of mixed that apple cart up a lot. You know, there was things I like to do, you like to do, and we worked through that right Cause I mean, we got married really young, but it just really young, but it just it. Just marriage to us was like if we don't run those roles exactly the same way, so it was always a conflict in the term for me, not in the relationship for me, just in the way the term, when the stigma of it was. So I just was like, hey, let's try partnership, because I like the fact that we are in a full on partnership. This is our agreement, this is what we want to do, this is what we act like this, that and the other, and it just give us more clarity. Now, I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's wrong, it doesn't matter. It's just a term that we decided that we love and we wanted to use, and I think we have that choice.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think you did a little research like the history of marriage and why it came into play and like all the things you're like. I don't know if I love, like the roots of this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you know, going back to the roles, like I just remember, early on in our marriage, um, man, I was like running myself ragged, like I was going to work and taking care of the kids and cleaning the house and making, but anytime you'd offer to help I'd be like Like no, you can't help me. Like you can't do, like that's my job. And it goes back to like your grandmother's era and like how we were kind of raised and everything. But then when you say like partnership, it's like oh, like okay, what are the terms of the agreement? You know, like how do we want to structure this and what does that look like to us? There's just so much more freedom to it for our own Well, so much more freedom to it for our own.

Speaker 1:

Well, and like you just said, you know words are spells. Yeah, and that's why you want to do the research on the word for yourself. You want to go look up terms, you want to see what's hidden in the word, not just the word itself. Go back to the root of the word and start to look how spells are cast. Now, a lot of people out there look at spells as the worst thing ever. But let's be clear they're. They're in the bible, they're in every book that there is out there that are spells.

Speaker 2:

well, honestly think about like your favorite music that you repeat in your mind over and over and over again, if you don't think that's like sinking into you and in a way. That is a spell, yep, um. And we're going right into that right now, because the point is that one word can carry massive subconscious weight and it can trigger strong emotionally reactions and it can literally define how you live well, I guarantee you I could say a few words right now that everybody up just like that, or be laughing their heads off, right it's just the way we react.

Speaker 1:

It has a body reaction well and think about.

Speaker 2:

You know, like, when we go to certain conferences or I guess I won't call them out but one one guy get likes to get on stage and use a lot of language and there's people who leave they can't handle. Even if what he's teaching about is so genius, they can't get past some of the words he uses.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's trigger. It's trigger form.

Speaker 2:

So, anyway, words are not neutral. They carry all kinds of cultural, religious and psychological programming. Now, the word grammar itself are not neutral. They carry all kinds of cultural, religious and psychological programming. Now, the word grammar itself ties back to Latin roots. That means a book of spells. Isn't that fascinating, reminding us that language itself has always been recognized as a kind of magic. But before you roll your eyes and think, okay, that's getting a little out there, let's ground it. Words shape us beneath the surface, even when we don't know their etymology. And that's important to know, cause I was like does it or does it not? They do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and when I get pushed back on this, I just say if you don't believe me, go look up your name and go read about yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because a lot of people have never done that. I mean, really get to the core of your name, go look it up, go look what it means, what you're going to become because you're named that, and I mean it'll blow your freaking mind.

Speaker 2:

So good. Okay, your nervous system, your culture and your subconscious all respond to words in ways that you're rarely aware of. So the first one is that sound does carry meaning and you see that in, like you know the frequencies, devices that people use, or the frequencies in music, or even, like, listen to an upbeat piece of music and then listen to one that's like really sad, and even if there's no words to it, like your body reacts to it right. So our nervous system doesn't only process the dictionary definition, it also reacts to the sound, rhythm and feel of a word. So, even going back to look up your name, but also, what is the sound and the rhythm and the vibration?

Speaker 1:

and the feel of the word and how is that affecting you.

Speaker 2:

That's why some words do feel harsh and others feel soft to us. So, even without knowing their Latin roots, our bodies feel different when hearing them, and probably even while saying them, I would say Then there's cultural conditioning.

Speaker 2:

Even if you've never studied the roots of a word, you inherit how it's been used in your culture. Again, kind of with marriage right. That cultural coding lingers in the collective psyche, so the word itself carries an unconscious energetic charge. Now, as I was writing this, I'm like oh, this sounds a little far-fetched, but here's a really cool story that makes it seem a lot less far-fetched. Okay, in the Heart's Code by Dr Paul Pearsall, he talks about a case of an eight-year-old girl who received the heart of another child who had been murdered. After her transplant she began having recurring nightmares of the crime and they were so vivid and detailed that her descriptions eventually led police to identify and convict the killer. Descriptions eventually led police to identify and convict the killer. Now, if cellular memory can be transferred through a heart, is it really a stretch to believe that words repeated over generations, infused with stories, beliefs and emotions, carry an invisible energy or weight in our psyches?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

And there's other stories too, of people who, like, start craving Cheetos. Who'd never craved Cheetos, you know things like that, but there's hundreds of them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's really cool.

Speaker 2:

Okay, um, but psychologists have also shown that words trigger priming effects. So when you hear a word, your subconscious links it to a clutter of meanings, images and emotions. That's how powerful our minds are, right. Say the word love or God in a room, and you'll get 10 different emotional responses from 10 different people. Each person's subconscious connects the word to their own web of images and emotions. And then, finally, we have language as spellcasting, and this is why ancient traditions called words spells. Now, a word does not need to be understood rationally to alter consciousness. Just like music can shift your mood instantly. Again, words carry vibration, they carry history and they carry energy that's slipped beneath our conscious radars. So what? What are some good challenges this week for our listeners?

Speaker 1:

Well, I think a really good challenge is to um. Look at words that you hear all the time, like the, like, um, and I call these. I can't think of the right term right now.

Speaker 2:

The commercialized words.

Speaker 1:

The commercialized words. Why have they been commercialized throughout history? Go do some research on those. I think that would be a really good one. Number two is I would research your name. I think that's really important because this is a. It's a big aha moment when you go do that, cause it's like whoa. This brings so much meaning to things.

Speaker 2:

And would you even suggest changing your name if you don't feel like it's suiting you anymore?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. Also, I would start to go look at certain terms. For example, one term that's fascinating to go look up is Satan and the definition of what it really meant and where it really started from and what the meaning was before it was ever what you might think it is today. So like there's fun of just taking a little bit of exploration in language and, uh, you know, if you really want to take another big challenge on, we just gave this to our, our group that are going through our program and that is, do the observer effect on your language on your inner language or outer language, or both.

Speaker 1:

Why not both Right, and really just see what you're repeating, what you're saying, how you're, how you're reacting and interacting with the world through your language? So I think that would be one thing, and then another thing just to end a little bit on. Is is like if you don't think language is important, then you know, think about going to see a movie that's only five minutes long. I mean, cause most movies stories could be wrapped up in five to 10 minutes in basic description. Yeah, but how fun is that?

Speaker 1:

Not fun, right? I mean, that's what I love about fairy tales and that's why I love when you talk about fairy tales, because fairy tales not only stretch the imagination, they stretch the vocabulary and you know, they've got hidden spells all over them, yes, they do so cool.

Speaker 2:

We're all living under spells we're not aware of yeah, that's what we're trying to help you all recognize and break and I think another fun thing, really quick, would be just to maybe learn a new word or like intentionally use a different word to describe your emotions every day just pick one yeah, do it for a week.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so good. And pick another one the next week, or start a new language.

Speaker 2:

Whoa, that's a good one. Okay, that is a wrap for us.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, all right, so this week played some pickleball, roped some steers. Our friends just built a brand new arena so I got to go over there and do that, which was a blast, and uh, let's see what else did we do this week, trying to think my dad was in town, so I got to go for a walk with him, which is really nice.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so lots of fun things we're getting ready to head to nashville in about 10 minutes let's go all right.

Speaker 1:

so with that, that's kind of a wrap of everything around our ecosystem. But once again, on things, we're getting ready to head to Nashville in about 10 minutes. Let's go All right. So with that, that's kind of a wrap of everything around our ecosystem. But once again, we can't be grateful enough. We can't thank you enough for listening to this episode.

Speaker 2:

It can't be a wash in reverence enough. Yeah, Thank you Sunny.

Speaker 1:

So good expansion, and if there is a way that you would be willing to share this podcast so that we could grow it, subscribe, make comments, help this get out to the world. If you feel like it's powerful, we would greatly appreciate that and we're so grateful for you, the listener, and this segment brought to you by, I Do, epic.

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Bart Miller

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Sunny Miller

Host