We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Why Your Body Thinks You’re Still Running From Lions and How It's Affecting Your Life

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 85

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In this episode of We Play Full Out, we’re diving into a raw conversation about why so many of us are living in survival mode without even realizing it. Did you know your brain scans for danger five times every second? That means your nervous system is constantly asking: “Am I safe?” - even when the “threat” isn’t a lion chasing you, but a late text, a partner’s tone of voice, or a teammate missing a deadline.

We unpack the SCARF model by Dr. David Rock: the five hidden triggers (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, Fairness) that hijack your body and relationships and explain how these triggers keep you locked in stress, block intimacy, and even sabotage your ability to create and manifest.

You’ll hear us talk about:

  • What happens in your body and brain when you perceive a threat
  • Why animals complete the stress cycle naturally but humans get stuck in it
  • How stored trauma in the body leads to health problems, hypervigilance, and disconnection
  • Simple ways to reset your nervous system through movement, shaking, co-regulation, and emotional expression
  • The role of breathwork and ecstatic dance in unlocking stored trauma and restoring safety
  • Why unresolved stress blocks not just intimacy, but your ability to manifest abundance and creativity

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep overreacting, shutting down, or feeling stuck in anxiety, this episode will hit home. More importantly, it will show you how to complete the stress cycle, rewire your meaning-making, and build a baseline of safety in your body so you can reconnect with yourself, your partner, and your vision for life.

👉 Tune in, and let’s talk about how to move from survival to creation so you can live, love, and play full out.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, bart. You know, today I'm really excited because it's kind of one of those days where, like you have a thought and you're kind of going down this not rabbit hole but ideas, and then I am too, and then all of a sudden they just merge together and it's amazing.

Speaker 1:

It is amazing. It's. One of my favorite things is I'll get a download and then I'll call you and be like, hey, here's this download I'm getting. What does that, where is that at and how does that work with you? And then all of a sudden you're able to sit with that and come back to different ideas, and we go back and forth and all of a sudden magic starts to happen. That's how we came out with our our I do epic playbook. That's how we've come out with our late legions 11, 11,. We Late legions 1111. We play full out mastery class. So I'm super stoked that we're going down this. So which one did you go down today?

Speaker 2:

So we're going to talk about something that I don't think a lot of people think about. I know I certainly didn't. It's kind of about safety, but there's a lot to this, like a lot more than I realized until we went to Sweden to Europe. And then, as I dive deeper into it, it's really fascinating how that shows up in our lives and it's like this underlying thing that nobody realizes or talks about. One of the two.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I was absolutely blown away when we were learning some parts about this being myself and how I didn't feel safe. I was like what. Yeah, are you kidding?

Speaker 2:

me right now Because it's like, logically, we think we are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh 100%.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but our bodies are telling us something different.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was super fascinating for me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, me too, so let's talk about them. So first of all, it's important to know. This is crazy to me that our brain is scanning for danger constantly. We're talking five times a second. Your brain is looking around and asking if you are safe Five times a second.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's insane isn't?

Speaker 2:

it Right and obviously we're wired this way because it kept our ancestors alive in the wild. You know, we didn't want to get eaten by lions or wander into danger unprepared, so like it's just the wiring we come with, but today it means our nervous systems are still on constant alert, even when the threat isn't life or death.

Speaker 1:

You mean, we're still humans.

Speaker 2:

We're still humans and the funny thing is you might be thinking like, oh well, you know, I'm like not presented with a life or death situation every day. So like Like oh well, you know, I'm like not presented with a life or death situation every day, so like I'm good, Right, Totally, it's fine, yeah, but that's not the case. A threat in the modern world can be as simple as an unanswered text, an eye roll or a subtle frown from your partner or a teammate missing a deadline. And, of course, we are constantly reading body language and energy faster than anything else. So like we know immediately when something is off. We can feel it. So we're not like just reacting to the world around as logically as we might think we are. We're reacting to the threat our brain thinks it sees.

Speaker 1:

Yep Right, and I love how you said that, as our brain seems to see, yeah, which is fascinating, right, yeah?

Speaker 2:

It's kind of funny because it's subconscious, right, exactly. We don't even know we're doing it, but we're doing it, we're doing it. And obviously this matters because once survival mode kicks in, it doesn't just impact your leadership or your parenting. It affects your business, your intimacy and the way you show up in every relationship.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Let's talk about what that looks like.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so we know a guy. His name is Dr David Rock. He is a psychologist and a neuroscientist. I guess he's created this method. He calls it SCARF, and they're SCARF triggers, and these five triggers happen to be the shortcuts our brain uses to decide if we're safe or under threat. So the first one is status. What does that mean to you?

Speaker 1:

Well, status means all sorts of things, but status in you know, what I would say is is how do I rank amongst certain peers in a certain ecosystem or in life itself?

Speaker 2:

And how is that ranking being affected? Right yeah, Am I being? Am I important or am I being diminished Totally? Second is certainty Any thoughts around that.

Speaker 1:

No, I think a certainty is is that you know like and that's one thing that a lot of people say to me you're so certain.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's true.

Speaker 1:

But certainty is just a real, I would say strong, knowing you're not afraid to stand up for right or wrong.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's kind of like I know what's coming next or it's completely unknown to me and I am freaked out. Yeah I have certainty so the next one is autonomy. If you'll notice, status and certainty are the first letters in scarf. Next is autonomy, and that's do I have a choice or am I being controlled? Because that is one thing that we're psychologically wired for. Also, is we want autonomy. The next is relatedness. Am I connected or am I being left out? We all want to be connected.

Speaker 1:

We want to be part of the tribe.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And the last is fairness. Is this just or am I being taken advantage of? Yep, is this just or am I being taken advantage of? So our brain is using these shortcuts five times every second to determine all these things. When one of these gets tripped, what's fascinating to me is our brains don't distinguish between a tiger in the jungle or your spouse. Forgetting to call it, just screams danger, protect yourself. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Like that does not make sense to my mind, but it's a thing, it is a thing, and it's like something that we don't talk enough about so that we can get a greater understanding.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So at the moment that happens, your nervous system switches into survival mode, which means stress hormones flood your body, your heart rate spikes, your muscles tense, your breath becomes shallow and blood pulls away from your gut and your prefrontal cortex, digestion and rational thought shut down. Now you're no longer in connection mode, you're in self-protection mode, and I think what's fascinating here is like there's different thresholds for every person. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

Right. So example someone with a low threshold for fairness may explode at the smallest hint of injustice. Another person just kind of barely notices or shrugs it off. That's where the complexity of the humans trying to figure out relationship comes in.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think where their trauma started in that complex is something you got to go track back to that. So I think that's also you know. Go track back to that. Yeah, so I think that's also. You know where were they? Raised what environment were they raised in? What were the different things? You know that really started to trigger the complex, because you know that's going to really determine where they're at in that.

Speaker 2:

For sure. So, like, as you said, childhood conditioning, did you grow up with chaos or stability, favoritism or fairness, control or freedom, like? All of these things are going to make an impact on you and how you perceive threats.

Speaker 2:

The next would be repeated experiences. So past betrayals, abandonments or power struggles can lower your thresholds in any given area. And then there's personality wiring. So somebody who's naturally more novelty seeking is going to have a lot higher threshold for certainty. Others that are more connection driven are going to have a lower threshold for relatedness. It's like figuring out all these little pieces of the puzzle right, but this explains why your partner may seem too sensitive or why your teammate may overreact. It's not about being wrong. It's about different thresholds and different domains.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that's the hard thing and everything that we're teaching and that we're involved in is there's no right or wrong.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

It's really understanding, you know, and I think that's where we get off, and it's like oh that person is crazy, crazy, you know. But that's not that they're crazy, it's just that they, they may not understand themselves. And if they do understand themselves, they're trying to. Well, maybe they, maybe they aren't, but they're. They've got to work through what they've, what's triggering those things for them, if that makes sense yeah and honestly, if it's personality wiring and like you, love who you are, like there's nothing to change totally, but understanding.

Speaker 2:

Like whoa, this person is just wired differently yeah, exactly, it's a big epiphany, sometimes totally 100 okay, so impact on relationships.

Speaker 2:

So once again, the problem is that your body doesn't know the difference between a lion in the jungle and your partner forgetting to text you back, because both flip the same switch. What happens is in relationships is you stop listening because survival mode narrows your focus so you literally can no longer hear nuance. And it's not like you're not trying, you just literally cannot do it. You start to misinterpret signals, so a sigh feels like rejection, silence feels like abandonment, and it doesn't really matter what your normal perception is usually like or even what your mind is logically telling you, because whatever is true to the body is true to you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and what's fascinating here to even bring up if you want to start to look at this from like you and I were at Tony Robbins event and Tony Robbins actually talked about this and then how the heart rate starts to beat at different levels when we feel unsafe. Yeah. And if you get into Predictably Irrational. He talks about how the heart rate goes so high when it reaches a certain level that you're literally out of your mind.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and for those that don't know, predictably irrational is a book we highly recommend go get it by Dan Irely.

Speaker 1:

But when you're out of your mind, how can you? Even you can't even think.

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

You know. So it's very fascinating when you feel some of these triggers. You can feel them at such a level that you're not even in your mind. Your heart rate is so high and anyway, I won't go down that rabbit hole, but it's just. It's really fascinating to me as experts talk about this a lot but we don't take it into our relationships, we don't take it into other parts because we're like, oh okay, that sounds good in concept, but just like listening to this, this is for real people.

Speaker 1:

It's for real, like start start paying attention to this, because this is bigger than you allow it to be, but if you address it, it'll change your life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I mean we could go deep on the psychology too of like complexes and how they actually are semi-autonomous and sometimes they raise up and they do hijack you and you literally are not the person you think you are in those moments, totally so. Next one is you escalate. So instead of curiosity, your body pushes for defense, you start snapping back, shutting down or storming out and again, like you were just saying, after the fact we often wonder why we reacted the way we did. But at the time our bodies and emotions were taking charge, either to get us out of the situation or to win it. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's like no, you know.

Speaker 1:

All for this little term called safety.

Speaker 2:

Safety, how important it is to us Right, and that's not what I would think. You'd go back to the root and say oh, I didn't feel safe in that moment, exactly.

Speaker 1:

That's what I'm trying to say. It all comes back to this little term that we don't give enough credit of, which is called safety, and I'm like what? Because I hadn't you know like until I really started diving in with you and on this kind of thing, I would have explained those a way different than ever being safety.

Speaker 2:

I would have picked a lot of different symptoms, but not the real cause. Yeah, so the next one is obviously that your connection breaks because survival mode makes you start to view your partner as an opponent to survive, not an ally to connect with. Yep. And I think that's where some of our communication has been really powerful, when we look at each other and say are we on the same team? Yep, because that kind of bridges the gap of no, we're not opponents with each other, we're really trying to get to the same place.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, and I think that's been a huge deal in our relationship, because if and you have and I have before we're not on the same team in this, but let's revisit it, but at the same time, when we do say we're on the same team we always go then we're going the right direction. We're doing this to win the game.

Speaker 2:

So, therefore, let's keep winning the game and let's further it, and it's so good, yeah, and if I were to think about my body in that moment, I can see me relaxing. It's like all of a sudden. No, I don't have to be tense, we're all on the same team. We're trying to go to the same place. We're not fighting each other.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and if you looked at a and I mean just really side note if you look at any team that is playing for the same thing, they may not look at the objective the exact same way and have some dispute about it, but once they, once they know they're still trying to win the game every, it's all much easier to work out. Yeah, if that makes sense, yeah. But if you have one that's trying to throw the game and not part of it, boy, you're going to see a whole different dynamic.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, go ahead All right. So we're going to touch on this briefly, but not go super deep into it. And so this shows up in your everyday interactions, but it's amplified in intimacy. So when survival mode takes over in the bedroom, any of these five triggers can occur in that situation as well, yep. And so then deep connection and true vulnerability become impossible, and we kind of put an Instagram post out there this week about what the sexiest thing you can give a woman is, and it is safety that allows her to open, to bloom, to connect, and for men too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, a hundred percent. Yeah, no doubt about it.

Speaker 2:

But when, when somebody doesn't feel safe in those situations, even though they think they feel safe, they shut down, they withdraw, they can't focus on anything really.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that is there's no playfulness, there's no anything. That's a difficult thing to discuss in the moment. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because you feel like you feel safe. That's the crazy part about the psyche, but yet anyway. So there are some. There are some workarounds with this that we've learned. It's really cool we're not getting into right here. We do that in our couples, retreat stuff like that and go down this rabbit hole but, and let's just be clear, A couples retreat is October 17th 18th. And we have two spots You're interested in diving into this with your partner.

Speaker 2:

We would love to have you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it is a safe space. It is a safe space, and this will be the very first thing that we will talk about at the event and how to set up a safe container to make your experience whatever you want it to be?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, okay, this is super, super amazing to me. So this is a really key insight and I feel like, if you don't take anything else away from this episode, it would be this okay, animals have the same wiring we do for danger, but they naturally complete the stress cycle. I was thinking about this because I'm like okay, who's actually being chased by lions animals? Yeah, right, so a zebra chased by a lion will run, it will breathe hard and it shakes until the threat has passed. Within minutes, its body discharges those stress hormones, resets the nervous system and it's able to go back to grazing if nothing had happened. Imagine if it couldn't do that. Yeah, if it was like a human. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It would be hiding somewhere in a cave and withering away and not not even poking his head out for two seconds because a lion's after it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, totally you know, and I think a lot of humans live that way. Yeah, that's what we're getting at here.

Speaker 2:

That's exactly what we're getting at here Not realizing it, and we'll talk about that a little bit more. But humans, however, we interrupt the completion cycle. We do this by suppressing emotion. We've all heard it Don't cry, don't make a scene, don't, don't, don't, don't. You know you can't like express yourself. You need to hold it in. We overthink and we carry the stress long after the moment is gone. So the problem with this is that, instead of completing the cycle, survival mode becomes our new daily baseline.

Speaker 2:

So you say, we anchor it we anchor it and we don't even realize that now we are operating from survival mode every single day. So what does that mean? It means our bodies stay flooded with stress hormones, our heart rate, our blood pressure and our muscle tension remains elevated, our digestion, immune function and reproductions downshift because once again our brain thinks, if we're running from a tiger, we don't currently need any of those things. We need energy in other areas, which is an adrenaline and such yep.

Speaker 1:

And so let me just throw something out here for you is this can be around finances? Yep. This can be around intimacy yep, there's so many things that this can be around finances. This can be, around intimacy.

Speaker 1:

There's so many things that this can be around that you don't even know what's around. And we wonder why we have money blocks. We wonder why we have all these blocks when reality is it could have started in a very simple way of not fully going through the process of getting rid of this energy, and then we anchor it, and then we compound, anchor it, compound anchor it.

Speaker 1:

And then we wonder why when I go to Dr West's office he goes Bart. Everybody that coming in my office right now nervous system is so out of whack.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's a big deal.

Speaker 1:

So now you've got millions of people with their nervous systems out of whack trying to work with each other. No wonder if you go. Look at the trend of what it's gone and I'm not saying this is a bad thing, saying this is a great thing, but look at the trend of how many therapists are booked freaking solid. You want to go into a space therapy, is it? Because, in all seriousness, because at the end of the day and here's the thing I double dog. Any dare any one of you to go into anybody's chat GPT that'll let you in there and just find out that they're not using it for therapy. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I have.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so, therefore, this is just showing you what safety and how important safety is and how important it is to get these processes under control ASAP.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I liked how you I can't remember how you said it, but anchor things Because, again, it may start small, but if it's not taken care of and our brains are being hypervigilant for threats, it's going to start piling them up.

Speaker 1:

Well, and how many times did you say we're looking for safety?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, five times a second.

Speaker 1:

Five times a second. Yeah, now, all of a sudden, I've got an anchor inside me and I'm already in baseline survival mode. Then five times a second. Then I anchor something else. Five times a second, I anchor something else. What is your nervous system going to do in that category, no matter what you do, if you don't get this released out of the body? Not out of the mind out of the body, then out of the mind.

Speaker 2:

Right, yep, and again, along with our physiology we kind of covered this already but our perception narrows. So again we're hypervigilant, we're scanning for even more danger, and then what happens is neutral cues, things that shouldn't be perceived as threat at all, get misread at threats, and it's like I'm anxious, I'm short-tempered, I'm unlovable, all these things, stories we start telling ourselves because of how our bodies and minds are reacting to all these perceived threats that we are taking into our system.

Speaker 1:

Which was interesting what you said there because all of a sudden, let's say, I anchor money as a first threat. Then I'm scanning all these things and I'm hyper aware of any type of threat. Then all of a sudden I anchor something to sex that I would have not anchored, but I'm already on high alert because of money. So then I anchor that. Then I anchor all of a sudden in every category. I am anchoring something because of this and then compounding it and I'm not. Once again, please don't let me be too dramatic here, but at the end of the day this is a pretty crazy thing.

Speaker 2:

No, that's a really good point, cause I hadn't even really gone there. But just because you've been threatened in one category, if your brain is picking up neutral cues that wouldn't normally be threats in other categories, it will probably start grabbing onto all of them.

Speaker 1:

Well, you're looking for safety right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, therefore, why wouldn't you? So, anyway, let's keep going.

Speaker 2:

So again, really, it's just that your nervous system never got the all clear message. So how do we get the all clear message? But first, let me see here I guess, along with all the new baseline things that come with being in survival mode, you can also kind of imagine how that's going to start affecting your relationships as well, because I want to talk about that a little bit, affecting your relationships as well, because I want to talk about that a little bit. You can't access curiosity or intimacy because your brain is prioritizing protection and not connection. Again, and what we were saying earlier arguments shift from roots to symptoms.

Speaker 2:

So instead of saying I feel unsafe, not knowing where we stand, you're getting mad and saying why didn't you text me back? And again, we don't come back to it's safety. That's the problem we come back to no, the problem is you didn't text me back, but it's making me feel unsafe. Right, and again, intimacy is such a big deal when your nervous system is in survival mode, you literally can't relax enough to open, connect or play. Protection always overrides pleasure, always, always, always, right, okay, now we're going to jump into reset because we cannot stress yes, that was a pun intended enough how important this is, can I just say?

Speaker 1:

one more thing I just want to bring up one more thing, but I'm not going to go into it. But that's why they call this disassociation. When somebody disassociates from their body, that's the highest disassociation in a category you can have happen to you. Yeah. And then that really compounds when you've disassociated for some sort of traumatic reason out of your body. But we're not going to get into that here. But if you want the pinnacle of it, that's disassociation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay, so good news. Yay, you ready for some good news after? All of this stress that we've been piling on. Absolutely survival mode does not have to be permanent, even if you've been in it for 20 years. That's right. The nervous system is plastic. Just like our brains have neuroplasticity, our nervous systems can learn safety again, and we're going to talk about how to complete the stress cycle in your body, just like an animal does.

Speaker 1:

Let's do it.

Speaker 2:

We have the capability.

Speaker 1:

Why are we not?

Speaker 2:

doing it, let's go, you know. So first is shake it out. Yeah, literally shake your arms, legs and torso. Animals do it, we can do it too.

Speaker 1:

They call that a static dancing too, yeah. So, if you want to shake it out, turn some music on. That way you don't look like a weirdo.

Speaker 2:

No, just kidding I mean, you look like an intentional weirdo. Right, there you go. Next is deep, intentional breathing Long exhale, so like inhale for four, exhale for six to eight Activates the parasympathetic system.

Speaker 1:

You six to eight activates the parasympathetic system.

Speaker 2:

You're saying breath work.

Speaker 1:

I am saying breath work. Ooh, I like that. Be intentional about breathing.

Speaker 2:

Sounds sexy, we're gonna talk a little bit more about that. Move your body, sprint, dance pushups or walk until you feel release. Next is cry, laugh or shout. Emotional expression is a form of discharge and when I think about this, I think of you on the pickleball court, cause you said sometimes like sometimes you just yell, I do, and you're like I just feel like I need to and then it's gone.

Speaker 1:

It is and people take it very offensive or they freak out. But I just do it, I yell, or else I'll throw my little tantrum for a second.

Speaker 2:

He's really mad over there and he's being super intense, but really you're just discharging, totally discharging that emotion, because when I do, then I just reset and start over.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a new beginning for me and I don't have to hold on to that energy of what just happened. Yeah, whatever it is, but I truly am not mad. I'm truly not anything else. But if you've never played with me on the pickleball court, you may see this. If you ever do, it has nothing to do with where I'm at or what's going on. It's just one of those releases that I've learned that I might as well be done with it. Then anchor it, because it's going to affect me for years to go in the game.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you know, crying is important. Like there's a song that really messed me up from my childhood and sometimes when I feel like crying, it still plays in my head and it has messed me up and I can't remember the name of it, but the lyrics are like don't cry out loud, just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings. Fly high and proud and if you should fall, remember you almost had it all. Wow, and because we had I think we had the songbook, I played it on the piano, I sang it, I listened to it and like so, when emotions would come up and I didn't feel like maybe that was the time or the place to express them, that would play and it's really.

Speaker 1:

And for you I can see that because you always have a song in your head. Yeah for sure. So you probably ought to start. You know, shake it out, shake it out.

Speaker 2:

I like that, definitely, definitely it's like no cry, express yourself, you know. Definitely it's like no cry, express yourself, you know, shake it out. The last one is to co-regulate. So hug, sink, breath or simply sit with someone who is safe yeah, and what's so?

Speaker 1:

funny is you and I attended a really cool couple seminar. It's probably been, I would guess, six, seven years ago. Yeah. We were in a room with a group of, I would say, people who should be very much in love, long lasting marriages.

Speaker 2:

Long marriages and relationships they weren't like.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and we were there to. Anyway, it was a very fascinating couples retreat that we went to, but they had us do a hugging regulation in this couple's retreat and I would say and you correct me if you think it's different but 80% of people could not co-regulate.

Speaker 2:

I would say at least 80%, like I think we were supposed to hug for like three to five minutes maybe. Yep, they couldn't get past like 20 seconds.

Speaker 1:

Yep, they couldn't co-regulate for 20 seconds.

Speaker 2:

And now I kind of understand, like they were not feeling safe in their partnership. You know, you late for 20 seconds and now I kind of understand, like they were not feeling safe in their partnership. You know, like environment, whatever it was, yeah, yeah, crazy, okay. So this is what's really cool these actions alone metabolize the stress hormones. That crazy.

Speaker 1:

So cool.

Speaker 2:

Once they're burned off, the nervous system resets and the body gets the all clear it's been waiting for. Now let's talk about what happens when we don't complete the cycle. The energy does not vanish. Not only are you stuck in fight or flight mode in your everyday life, but the energy also gets stored in your body as unresolved trauma. Now, over time, that unprocessed stress doesn't just shape your emotional patterns, it also wears down your physical health. Of course, right yeah, you're fatigued. So chronic stress and stored trauma are linked to inflammation, digestive problems, immune suppression, sleep disorders and even cardiovascular disease. The body quite literally keeps the score, and there is a book about that.

Speaker 1:

And you should all read it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and here's the part that most people miss, and this is what you've been bringing up that I was so excited about. That same unresolved energy also blocks what you're trying to manifest into your life, because survival mode hijacks your system for protection, so all of your energy goes into scanning for threats instead of expanding into creativity, intimacy or abundance. Instead, it acts like static interference. It's clouding the signal between your intentions and what you're calling in.

Speaker 2:

Yeah so good, and that's why body-based modalities like ecstatic dance and breath work are so powerful. They bypass the thinking mind and allow the body to discharge what it's been holding onto for years, and we have seen this firsthand so many times. In just the few sessions you facilitated huge emotional releases.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, in fact, we just did one at our inner circle event with a big group of human beings at one time. These are all top performing, super brilliant, high end individuals. Yeah. And their walkaways from this was mind blowing, like transformationally mind blowing, which was amazing. Such an honor to be part of Such an epic thing to watch.

Speaker 2:

It really is. It's I'll use the word. It almost feels sacred.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it was sacred and I was so glad that we set the safe container. Yeah. And that we're able to allow everybody, because there was everything from ecstatic yelling, moving, all these things in a big group and if you don't set that container of safety, none of that is possible, yeah, and again, like so many, every person you talk to is like it's life changing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's hard to express that and explain how that works unless you've experienced it, and I've talked to a couple of people that's their fear. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

They're afraid to release. Yeah, and that is mind blowing to me. Yeah. But at the same time I get it. They're so scared to get rid of this because they're so addicted. Yeah, Now hear me out, you're addicted to your trauma.

Speaker 2:

Because who are you without it? That's right.

Speaker 1:

You don't know what you would be without it. You've always lived with it. So all of a sudden it's gone. You know what I'm saying? Like it's a big thing. So they're so addicted to it that it scares them to actually get rid of it which is mind blowing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So these practices unlock and release stored trauma so your system can reset to safety. When safety is restored, health, intimacy and abundance can finally flow. So again, safety is the foundation in the body, is the foundation for everything. It's what allows your desires, visions and manifestations to finally have space to land. Amen, yeah, so it's just a couple more things.

Speaker 2:

Completing that stress cycle is definitely the first step. If you know how to get yourself out of fight or flight mode, that is powerful. But there's two other things that you can do. We're not going to go into them here today, but let us know if you want us to dive into them and we will.

Speaker 2:

The first one is so the mind reset, and that's reframing, because our brains are telling us a story and we need to catch that and replace it with the truth. And what that does for us is stops our brain from tagging every discomfort as danger. That's important, because it's like, okay, I know how to get out of it, but how do I stop triggering it? That's the way to do it. The next one is life reset, which builds baseline safety into your everyday life so you can build daily rituals, safe connections and calming environments that signal to your body, you are safe, and so then your threshold does not get hijacked so easily.

Speaker 2:

So again, these three leaders body, mind and life create a nervous system that isn't ruled by survival, but designed for connection, curiosity and creativity. So cool, so cool. So final thought is that we are brilliantly wired for survival. We were designed for more than just surviving. We're designed to connect, to love, to create and, of course, to live fully awake and alive and to play full out. And it all begins with teaching your nervous system what it feels like to finally be safe.

Speaker 1:

So what you're saying is we're animals. Yes, and we need to be animals.

Speaker 2:

A little bit animals and we need to be animals.

Speaker 1:

We need to learn about what animals do to protect themselves and really learn. And I think it's fascinating the more research I do, the more we're an animal with an absolute big brain. That gets us into trouble. Our brains do get us in trouble, and so we've got to go back and learn from these animals that don't have such big brains so that we could use the full capacity of our brain to excel the way we want, instead of cause so much trauma and crap that affects us once again. Animals, how they move, why they move what they're, how they, you know, stalk their prey and why they do what they do, is so fascinating and at the same time, how critically important our body is to us. And yet we don't realize it because we spend so much time today in our minds because we're behind computers, we're doing this, we're doing that time today in our minds because we're behind computers, we're doing this, we're doing that. We're so mind focused instead of body focused that we cause a lot of grief in ourselves because of that.

Speaker 2:

So just a couple of things. No, I actually love that because one of the things I feel like that we miss out is that animal connection. I'm not saying that we should go fully primal, maybe, but a lot of times when I hear people talk about connecting to your divine feminine, or maybe even your divine masculine, it's like all these instinctual nature like we've cut out of ourselves, and part of becoming fully whole is reconnecting those parts of ourselves that we've cut out.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and what's very interesting is, even if you go to like Disney or whatever else that we've cut out. Yeah, and what's very interesting is, even if you go to like Disney or whatever else, how do they use animals to portray all of these things? Yeah. And so I'm really going down this path of this animalistic part of us that we've disassociated.

Speaker 1:

No pun intended, no nothing intended there but we've really disconnected when we go back and revisit those in our exercise routines, in our breathing, how an animal breathes and why they have to cycle their breath and all these things. There's so much of our primal aspect of who we are as a human that we just haven't even thought about, we haven't allowed ourselves to think about it because we it's not in our environment, it's not in our nature anymore, where it used to be more of our, our human life experience and life force energy, I would say, because it's an energy that's there, that's waiting for us.

Speaker 2:

100, yeah, okay, should we talk about life updates really?

Speaker 1:

quick, sure let's do it okay.

Speaker 2:

So we just got back from boise, had an amazing time. We stayed in the airbnb with eight other people, yeah, which I think designated us as the party house. It was awesome. It was the party house had lots of laughs and we had some deep conversation. That was really cool. We got to eat some candy from Russia.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, you guys O-M-G. Was that a treat? Big shout out, olga, if you listen to this. Yeah, you are amazing. That was so great. Thank you for sharing your culture with us, and what was very interesting is we had a lot of cultures in our Airbnb, so many, so many. From all areas, which was fascinating Anyway.

Speaker 2:

And we also got to eat some absolutely incredible food from Persia got to eat some absolutely incredible food from Persia.

Speaker 1:

And let me just say again O-M-G.

Speaker 2:

Fred and Jacqueline, big shout out to you and making that experience once in a lifetime Talking like six hours of cooking or more for that.

Speaker 1:

Well, more, because she prepped all the meat all the food before she came, she flew it with her. She had to do special luggage to make that happen. She stored it all the entire time and then created these meals that were gourmet meals from there, so like that was absolutely mind blowing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so, and then we made some new connections and we're really looking forward to those.

Speaker 1:

We met a crazy English lady. Yeah, just kidding, jessica, just kidding, you're amazing. And she does speak English. Maybe, Maybe she speaks a different English than I speak. But we loved her so much. It was so fun to be in her present and see that amazing energy. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

We did play a little pickleball. We went and hit together one evening just because we needed to get some of our stuck energy out sitting all day, and we also got to play one game together before we had to head out. Yeah, that's fun. You facilitated three breathwork sessions while we were in Boise and again people walking out saying it was life changing was really really cool.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, never a lot of people had done breathwork but nothing like that. It was absolutely life changing for all of us, which was great.

Speaker 2:

And I would say the last thing is it's just great to be home, but we are heading to Nashville on September 5th through the 9th. We look forward to a steamboat cruise with live music and dinner, a jazz club and, of course, eric Clapton in concert. Let's go. Let's go. Xander and Kobe will be joining us and we're looking forward to just a magic time.

Speaker 1:

Yep, yeah. So we had an amazing trip to Europe and all the great things and we're still exploring so many things to bring to you as our listener. And really you're excited for the feedback on our last podcast. We got a lot of feedback, which was really awesome, on how, when you break beliefs in the death cycle and how to really work through those. So if you haven't listened to the podcast other podcasts please do that Also.

Speaker 1:

Once again, you know we would love to get this out to more people, so if you can send an email out to your list and say, hey, this is something that we're working on in our ecosystem, you should listen to this. That would be amazing. It would really mean a lot to us to get this spiked up, growing, doing all the things. If you know somebody who should be on the podcast if it's you, the listener then reach out to us, Let us know. Let's get that set up, Let us know the topic that you want to talk about and why it's important to our listeners. With that, we're so honored, so grateful for you. We are so, so grateful for you. We can't thank you enough, and this segment brought to you by I Do Epic.

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Bart Miller

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Sunny Miller

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