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We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny
Welcome to We Play Full Out!
We’re Bart and Sunny Miller, founders of We Play Full Out, creators of We Play Full Out Life Mastery, and real-life partners who’ve built multiple 7-figure businesses by living one core truth:
You don’t get the life you want by waiting. You get it by designing it - and then showing up for it full out.
This podcast is where we strip it all down. Every week, we crack open the stories, patterns, and inner saboteurs keeping high-level entrepreneurs stuck - and give you the mindset, emotional clarity, and psychological firepower to architect your life by design.
We blend myth, mastery, identity work, and brutally honest perspective shifts to help you stop playing small and start showing up like the version of you who was born to lead.
This isn’t self-help fluff. This podcast is for those ready to face their shadow, own their power, and build a life that matches the size of their soul.
You don’t need more motivation. You need a mirror and a map.
We bring both.
We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny
Unfiltered: Our Journey After Leaving Religion
What happens when everything you've believed for decades suddenly comes into question? Bart takes over the podcast to guide an unscripted, vulnerable conversation with Sunny about their journey leaving their traditional religion after 45 years of devotion.
The couple shares the raw emotional aftermath of this life-altering decision—how it felt like experiencing death, complete with grief cycles of anger, betrayal, and profound sadness. "I had a full identity breakdown," Sunny reveals, describing her existential crisis when questioning everything she once held true. Bart admits to feeling trapped and frustrated, wanting to rebel against years of religious restrictions.
Their contrasting approaches to this transition illuminate how differently we process major life changes. While Bart wanted to immediately explore everything previously forbidden, Sunny advocated for "baby steps"—a measured approach that protected their emotional wellbeing. They discuss how sudden freedom can actually "jack up your nervous system," creating anxiety, depression, and psychological distress if not navigated carefully.
Perhaps most powerful is their insight into maintaining relationships with still-religious family members through healthy boundaries, and how radical honesty transformed their 30-year marriage. "What we think the other one doesn't know, they already know," Sunny observes, reflecting on how partners often hide parts of themselves in misguided attempts at protection.
Through this journey, the Millers developed an 11-step transformation process for "architecting your life by design" rather than following prescribed paths. Their experience became a mission to help others navigate similar transitions with greater ease and authenticity.
Questioning your beliefs or facing an identity crisis? Bart and Sunny offer their community as a judgment-free space for support. Reach out and join them in their journey of self-discovery and authentic living.
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Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.
Speaker 2:Bart, I would be glad to, but I think you're going to take it away today.
Speaker 1:I think you're right. So, hey, welcome to we. Play Full Out, you guys, and today I am hijacking the podcast. So, here we go. So I really wanted to have a really just open and frank talk with Sonny, back and forth on a few different things. So this is going to be unscripted, basically open. Don't know where it's going to go all the way yet. So I hope you enjoy this and if you don't, I'm sorry. We'll go back to Sonny's format.
Speaker 2:No, no, no Awesome.
Speaker 1:No, I do. I just feel like it's been, as we just got back from an amazing holiday. We were 19 days basically out traveling Europe and we had just an absolute amazing time. It was a lot of fun. And those of you that don't know us Sonny and I have been married now for 30 years and we have four amazing children and we have done a lot in our life. But one thing we never did up until now is actually took a holiday with no work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was weird. No work, it was very nice.
Speaker 1:It's been. It was incredible experience. So, first and foremost, big shout out to Sunny for doing that and exploring this wonderful thing we call life with me. All right, so the topic I want to talk about today sorry to bore you guys with all that fun stuff, but the topic I want to talk about today is when you find out something's not true or how you kind of address things in life or how you kind of address things in life. So, as a lot of you know, sonny and I left our traditional religion basically five years ago Now. When we decided to make that decision and we'll get into it there was a lot of things that happened and a lot of things that we weren't ready for. So I wanna talk a little bit about that and maybe, if you're out there right now and you're struggling, this may help you. So, first thing is Sunny, who was the one that ultimately decided to leave the religion you or me?
Speaker 2:Ultimately, in which way?
Speaker 1:Actually said I'm done. The church isn't true.
Speaker 2:Well, I said that, so I guess it was kind of me, but you helped facilitate it.
Speaker 1:I would say so it was a journey. There was things I was pushing back on. So as and don't let me put any words in your mouth- so, just make sure you speak up because I really do want the audience to hear. So for me, you, you speak up because I really do want the audience to hear, so for me. You know, I had, I had quite a bit of like. I didn't want to leave the church and I don't think you did either. Let's be clear. I think really our intention was we wanted answers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. We really like my big thing was searching for truth right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it still is to this day. Yeah. And so, as we were looking like, the more questions we ask, the more resistance, that kind of would just kind of come back and it was, like always, a generic answer of just have more faith, and I'm not bashing on anything, but that's what it was. But truly we, I mean, I still would say we're, we're very in love with the people we love. We love our community, we love the area we live in. We just wanted answers. Would you agree upon that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:And then, as you started to do some research and some studying, some things like that, you started to have a lot more questions.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And as you started to go through that process, what was it like for you and your perspective of all of a sudden having aha moments, of saying I know I'm not supposed to question this. I know that I'm told that this means I'm getting into territory of maybe Satan being there and pushing me the way I need? You know all those different things. How did you deal with that as you started to go through this process and started to get things that you're like? I just don't know if I agree with this.
Speaker 2:You know, for me, I didn't really feel like I couldn't question things ever. Feel like I couldn't question things ever.
Speaker 2:As you know, I was like I would call myself a scriptorian, and it seemed like I could mostly find answers that would satisfy me. There are always a few kind of lingering in the back of my head that, you know, I just figured I would learn in the next life or whatever. You know like we're kind of taught, but to me it was just more like the astonishing effects of I've been studying this stuff my whole life. Now the church we were part of was releasing new documents that did not match what I'd been taught my whole life. I'd been taught my whole life, and so I think for me that was the biggest I don't know what the word is Like. It shocked me and I couldn't understand why more people weren't concerned about it. They were just kind of saying what a good book it was that had just come out and I was like why is nobody freaked out about the fact that everything we've been taught, all of a sudden the story is different.
Speaker 1:How did that affect you, though? So what I'm really after. So all of a sudden, you know I mean what I'm trying to think 20, maybe 30, 40, 45 years. 45 years of knowing Right and then, all of a sudden, you're like this could not be true. How was that?
Speaker 2:Well, thinking back, definitely a huge shock. Really think through my emotions at the time because obviously in my life my whole identity was built on this particular religion and it was who I was. Everything in my life was built on the framework of this. And I know, at first, when I kind of started to read that stuff and look at stuff, I tried to gloss it over and be like, no, this is okay. But obviously, like it rocked my world Surely. Well, through it and after full grief cycles of loss, of anger, of betrayal, of sadness, I mean was it was devastating yeah, and I would agree with all that because I felt the same things.
Speaker 1:I mean, for me it was if I could put words in my mouth. It felt like a death yeah, loss like it was just like no way I put so much you know, and then all of a sudden I wanted to rebel. Anger. Yeah, I wanted to attack, I wanted to be mean, I wanted to be vindictive. I wanted I mean I was like a little baby, I wanted to really freaking throw a tantrum.
Speaker 2:Part of it, for me too, is like I've spent my whole life dedicated to this, so I want it to be right. So bad, yeah, um so then. Then that betrayal comes in of like I've been betrayed and lied to. Yeah, you know yeah.
Speaker 1:so for for you I mean for me, I was very much the same. So I think that was awesome and, being in a partnership that we are in, it was like, oh my, we've got to deal with this now. And as we looked at that in dealing with this, I think there was a lot that came up, because the first thing is is like the rage, the upset, the frustrated, like we can go do anything we want, we can, you know, like all these different things, right, but for you, how did you navigate that? How did you navigate this process so that you didn't blow yourself up? Was there some things you did by chance?
Speaker 2:Well, I'm a little different than you in the fact that most of my life and I think probably highly programming that you know that I was involved in. Maybe not, but I just didn't really have a desire for anything outside of what I was already doing. Yeah, like I wouldn't say my nature is super rebellious in some ways and other ways it is, but just to be like I can go do anything right now didn't really appeal to me because there wasn't anything that I was just dying to go do. Like I didn't feel like I was trapped, yeah, or I think it was different for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I felt very trapped, very frustrated, like I mean, I can't tell how many parties I went to and you know, you were shamed if you drink alcohol or you were shamed if you like coffee. You were shamed for so many things, right, yeah, so for me, yeah, I was a little bit more like screw this, I'm having a cup of coffee today, just to prove I can.
Speaker 2:So how did you deal with it?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I think this is the important thing I want to kind of get across here is, if it hadn't been for you being there, I think I would have dealt with it in a horrific way. I would have blown myself up because I just was so like it was like the shackles have been taken off right. It was like I don't even know how to explain it, like I just wanted to explore, I wanted to do so many things right, and I think that's where you really paid a big role in that with me. And I'm so grateful for that, because I remember when we sat down and and and maybe you can expand upon this, maybe not, I don't, we'll find out here in a second but I remember just sitting down and we're like we've got to take baby steps. We've got, we've got to give this time because, just like a death or just like anything else, give this time because, just like a death or just like anything else, if we go all in and just let our hair down, we may make decisions that we will actually regret.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I remember reading and listening to a book about that. You know, I think it was in the sixties where all of a sudden, you know you had the drug scene and you had women who were. All of a sudden you had the drug scene and you had women who were all of a sudden um, I don't know the right word for it, but maybe unlocking sexually, like things were more explored and more open and all the things and they actually had like a lot of deaths and blowing each other up, you know in in really unhealthy ways, like it can backfire on you when you have your full freedom and all of a sudden you just want to go do it all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that, and so one of the things that we started to talk with each other on is is let's take baby steps. Now, that's not Bart's nature, normally, Right, and it's not necessarily Sonny's nature to progress either. So you know, for me it was baby step of okay, are you cool if I bring coffee in the house and start to drink and I know a lot of you are probably laughing out there, but that's okay. But literally it was like I wanted to make sure in our house that was okay and Sonny was gracious enough to say yes, but that didn't mean.
Speaker 2:Well, I'll let you explain it no-transcript and I can laugh about it now, but for sure my nervous system was like jacked up just over something that simple.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which you just led into some. So on the coffee story, I mean it's funny, like during those times, how I would buy alcohol later. This wasn't right then, but a little later, and I would think, well, if somebody catches me I'll just say I'm buying it for a party.
Speaker 3:Like you know, I think of all these stories instead of for me, like it was funny how I tried to like know what my story was going to be if I ran into somebody.
Speaker 1:You know what my story was going to be if I ran into somebody, you know. But anyway, um, you brought up something I think that I want to explore a little bit more in that is, you said, jacked your nervous system up. So when you do something like this, can it really affect your nervous system?
Speaker 2:1000%, yes, wow, because I think when you're used to a culture or especially belief system and you feel safe in that, at least you know there's different ideas of safety, and safety just is familiar, right. So if it's familiar to you and all of a sudden what was completely taboo is now in your presence, it's a shock.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did it affect your health?
Speaker 2:I don't remember it really affecting my health. Yeah, probably my stress levels, and I think underlying stress always does something to the body. Yeah, yeah, for sure it's not like I got sick.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know, when we talk about this type of stuff, I want you to really think how important your body is, Because when you have programming things installed in you, an identity that is you, all these things, and they're blown up and they're dead, All of a sudden it is like whoa, I'm rewiring so many things so fast that you can all of a sudden throw yourself into a depression. Yeah, so fast that you can all of a sudden throw yourself into a depression. You can throw yourself into nervous like a nervous wreck. You can throw yourself into anxiety, you can throw yourself.
Speaker 1:There's so many things that you can do. Not intentionally trying to do this, anything you'd want to explore?
Speaker 2:in that. Well, I would say the baby steps thing is where that comes in a lot, because you are rewiring and your nervous system is in a lot of shock. But when you said that, I do remember I did have a full identity breakdown because I was like, you know, some people say the dark night of the soul, or whatever you might want to call it, and maybe that's what I was in. I think I was in a bit of an existential crisis because I didn't know what to believe anymore. Wow, and I went through all the rabbit holes you can imagine finding about spirituality and truth and religion. And then it's like well, who am I and why am I even here? And I still have to be careful with those questions because I think there's some things in life that just can't be answered and if you try to pursue them, you will really hurt yourself emotionally.
Speaker 1:So would you say you had a void Big time and you wanted to fill the void For sure Right, and I think that's human nature.
Speaker 2:Well, and I've heard it described this way it's like a light bulb that has energy going to. It lights up as this energy, but if that's turned off or if it's broken or whatever, that energy is not there anymore and that's a void. It's like you want something to light you up again.
Speaker 1:Right yeah, and we crave that. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that was something for me. It was like I really did want something there and there was a lot of things I loved. So all of a sudden, there was this void and I'm like, what do we fill it with? And it was like we got to find something instead of just saying, nope, like a death, this is gone, I don't need to replace this, I don't need, we don't need to have another baby today and replace this. We need to take time and allow this void to be able to be able to feel it, understand it, realize it, not just go out there and refill the void instantly.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and maybe that's where in my baby steps I could have screwed up a little bit, because I did go pretty far and deep into some.
Speaker 1:And we had some good talks around that.
Speaker 2:We did and you did calm me down a little in one regard and just, I think it's important to remember that life is life and we're here to live it, and we're here to be human and like we don't have to know all the answers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you do go through an external crisis like this and you do something, one of the things both of us would encourage you to do is set a timeline before you fill the void, if you have to fill the void, and just really let yourself process what happened.
Speaker 2:Reconnect with yourself.
Speaker 1:Yes, really reconnect, re-get yourself established and, if you do fall into a depression, find help yeah, because you might yeah, if you do have anxiety over it, that's okay, find it, and what I'm saying is is that you've got to find people around you that you can surround yourself with, and thank goodness we had each other yeah not everybody does no, and if you're going through something like this and you need somebody or you want somebody to talk to, we don't say we have all the but by golly we'll be a listening ear and we might be able to point you in some direction.
Speaker 1:So so feel free, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, and I do count my lucky stars a lot. You know, there are couples where one's going through maybe a faith challenge and the other's not, and what a difficult situation, that is.
Speaker 1:Really is, and it's very interesting. And this is. You know, we'll kind of expand upon this, but after you're out for a little bit, your eyes are so open and you see so many things.
Speaker 2:So many.
Speaker 1:And then all of a sudden, that could be very devastating when you're the one that's seeing all this. But yet the other person's brain right, and our brains are this way and we've got in the other podcast about this and how your brain anchors and like you know, like when you buy a white car, that's an Audi and you're like I've never seen this car before and then all of a sudden, boom, it's everywhere and you're like I didn't know so many people drove white Audis. Like what the heck.
Speaker 1:But our brain's so wired that we just don't even pay attention to certain things, and we don't want to.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like to think of it too in that same regard, same exact regard, but having a different colored glasses. On right, You're never going to see red if you have green glasses. On it's perception, you know, and our brains are looking for things that we believe are true.
Speaker 1:Right and then, as the person who's seen, let's be clear we want to vomit that as fast as we can because we're like, oh my gosh, we've got to. We got to, you know whatever it might be.
Speaker 2:So Well, and let's expand that a little, because you know our families mine particularly still very, very involved and it was difficult to have conversations because it was always like trying to prove to me why the religion was true. It wasn't like I was being listened to yeah, and that's, and I get it, that's their job, I get it, yeah, for sure. You know, because it's devastating for them too, of course.
Speaker 1:Amen.
Speaker 2:So, but it was a challenge.
Speaker 1:And how did you deal with it?
Speaker 2:I actually kind of had to set up a boundary and say you know what, we're not going to discuss this. I'm not ready to.
Speaker 1:Was that tough for you to set a boundary? Very much, I knew that I needed it. Yeah, I really needed it. Yeah, and I remember when you did that and how much of the stress really lowered for you.
Speaker 2:It really did. Yeah, because I knew that I could reach out to this person and not have a conversation. And if I didn't do that, that's all our conversations would be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you and you still love this person so much, oh dearly. Yeah, yeah. And that was a beautiful thing for both of you, because once you establish the boundary, you could still be in love with each other.
Speaker 2:And that boundary was fully respected. Yeah, I must say that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was really cool, so that's really good. So you know, I think that's that's really good. So when you go through something like this once again I know I'm reiterating, but I just want you to catch these points You're you're going to have a loss. There are things that are going to affect your body and then there's things that's going to affect you and how you relate to your new reality. That and understand you as a human. Like for me, it would like whoa, I want to go For Sonny, it's like I don't need to go, but like what do I do? You know what's new, right? So we would literally sit with each other and have hours of conversations around. Let's just talk for no other reason than to express our feelings. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And we would do that, and as we expressed these things, it was like, okay, we have to remember, we still love these people. Yeah.
Speaker 1:We don't need to be bashers. That's not the answer for us. Like we just have to understand us. And where are we at? What are we doing? How do we make a difference? But how do we not hurt anybody, if possible, along the way, with this decision that we have made for ourselves, understanding that from their perspective, we are going to hell. We are done with our family, you know, like all these things, and that's a lot of weight on our shoulders, right, because you want your family to be proud of you. We wanted our family to understand us, but we knew they weren't going to at that level, and so to be able to understand it from their perspective and then understand it from your perspective, I think is a big deal. Anything you want to add to that.
Speaker 2:No, well, I would just say, you know, I don't know what's said about us behind our back, let's be clear. But if I were to run into any of our community at any time, any point of the day, or if we needed help, they would be here, oh for sure, in two seconds, absolutely, which is a beautiful thing too, it is. I know there's other religions where people are very much cut off and ostracized and their families cut them off, and that has not been the case with us, and I am grateful for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too. All right, so let's explore just a little bit more around this. So, as we have started to grow into the new things and expand and stuff like that, you know we took baby steps into that too. So as we expanded, we would always sit with each other and say do we want this because we need a new belief, or we need this or we need to fill this void, or is it something that really really resonates with us?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I would say that's pretty tricky Because when you've been programmed for so long with so many certain belief systems and structures, to go outside of that, it's like do I really want it? Or should I say do I really not want this because I don't want it, or do I not want it because that's what I've been programmed to believe? Yeah, and I still find that that roots itself a lot.
Speaker 1:It does for sure, and thank you for bringing that up. It's awesome. So, yeah, today's podcast, we really just wanted to start to really talk about some of the things that we have really struggled with, because we want to be more vulnerable with you and transparent in the things that we went through. I mean we really were dedicated. We did the things that we were asked to when we found out that this was not our truth was not our truth Doesn't mean not somebody else's truth.
Speaker 1:Was not our truth. We really had to sit with each other and really decide for us what is our truth, what is our North Star? And are we making it like just Sunny just said so beautifully? Are we doing this because we want to fill the void? Are we doing this because we really want it? Are we making it like just Sunny just said so beautifully? Are we doing this because we want to fill the void? Are we doing this because we really want it? Are we doing this because we've been programmed for years about it? Or are we just not willing to push?
Speaker 1:the boundary because of these other things, right, yeah, and I think that's the thing you've got to have a sounding board, a community, a culture around that isn't going to judge you yeah, that isn't going to try to push something on you in any way, shape or form but you've got to get real with you.
Speaker 1:And so one of the things that we did early on was we did our human design. We started to go back to the basics of who are we as individuals, not as Bart and Sonny, but as personal individuals. How are you functioning and what has affected you and your nervous system through this process, and how's it done that differently to me, and how do we help each other in this process and I would call it a process, for sure. And then we started to explore that, and then we started to architect things around our systems and how we communicate, how we go about things, how we approach things with each other so that we can have a greater understanding. Because that was one of the things and we still, to this day, bring up things and we're like, okay, let's re-question this again, let's re-look at this again, because we don't want to set ourselves in stone in these things, because we feel like, as soon as we're set in stone, then we we are not open-minded, and that's what got us in trouble the first place.
Speaker 2:I would agree with that, and you know we've talked about this. I would like to say everything's just not rosy here either. Like it's been very, very difficult. Like when we say we've talked it might sound like we're calm and cool and collected, but we've had some really, really tough, transparent communication with each other where it's been sometimes absolutely beautiful, sometimes absolutely hellacious, but you know we're still here.
Speaker 1:Thank you yeah.
Speaker 2:And one of the words that really caught me is the word normalize, because there were a lot of things that, you know, people would start approaching us with and like, oh well, when you normalize this, when you normalize this, I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I am not going to normalize anything anymore that I do not choose to do. I understand that normalizing something can be actually very beneficial to you if you're trying to step into it, but it can also be like wow, we just normalized this as a society that never should have been normalized. Like you know, you have to really be awake and pay attention, and conscious is what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:I agree.
Speaker 2:And I think back to our human design. Um, one of the things that we've really started to hit on is what are our patterns? Because I find that when we're replaying patterns over and over again, we get stuck in these loops that are difficult, and so one of the ways, I really think, to shine a light on who you are as a person and what you're trying to accomplish, and maybe what your stumbling blocks are, or what are these patterns that I'm repeating in my life?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you, you did a podcast. I don't remember which episode it was, but if you want to read something on this we talk about like, we actually went through an exercise of like if a camera was following us. You know what are we really doing and are we showing up the way we think we really are, not only for us individually but in our partnership. Right, and that was a. That was an eyeopening process to really really go through and be honest with each other and have hard conversations, but yet conversations that we needed.
Speaker 1:And one of the things that I think, through this exploration, that we've really gotten really good at is is there were a lot of things I would hide from you because I wanted to keep you safe and same with you, with me. Yeah, it wasn't like hiding like a thousand dollars somewhere I'm just whatever, I'm just using that number but like or hiding, like I don't know how to explain it. It was like I was hiding things of trying to protect you because I knew, if you knew that it would blow you up and reality was that was me projecting on you.
Speaker 1:That wasn't really the truth of the matter. And so, therefore, we got to where we were able to be bold with each other in the way we were thinking, the way we were communicating, and not hide anything of who we were or what we desired or what we wanted to explore or things to that nature. Like, hey, sonny, I really want to get fucking drunk tonight. I just want to. I'm not going to hide it from you, I am going to get plastered tonight. And you could literally look at me and say, well, I don't agree with that, I don't think that's a great idea, you know, or whatever it might be, yeah. But then I could turn around and say, well, that's how I feel, but I want to understand it from your side, and we would really explore and go through those conversations. And sometimes you just look at me and say, bart, you need to do it Even though I don't agree with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and you know I'm glad you brought that up because we've also had this conversation. I'll probably say that a lot, but it's hard to tell the truth. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like we as people in general, if you really sit and think about it, we don't tell the truth about how we really feel all the time, especially to our partners. Like we feel like we've got to hide or we won't be accepted or we won't be loved or we won't be all of the things, or maybe we have to pay an emotional price or this, that, whatever it could be. But telling the truth is scary.
Speaker 1:For some reason, right, for some reason.
Speaker 2:To the person you love the most, the person you're going to sleep with, the person that you have all your things, with everything. You have your entire family built around.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, and what's so funny about it is and I'll just give you one subject. I mean I have a huge sex drive, right, yeah, and like a huge sex drive and all these different things right, but driving all these different things right, but you already knew it.
Speaker 3:But what? But you already knew it. Yeah, it wasn't like I was hiding anything, but I thought I was hiding all this stuff, you know, and I was like, oh my, and you're like dude.
Speaker 1:It's about time you're just upfront with it and talk to me about it at this level, Because at the end of the day, I already knew it. Yeah. It's not like inside of me, I didn't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not like inside of me I didn't know. Yeah, that's a really good point, I think, especially when you've been partners for so long. Yeah, what we think the other one doesn't know, they already know.
Speaker 1:And the thing that we think is going to blow them up is actually it's like thank you, thank you for a. Let's just have conversation around it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we've actually talked to several couples that, like, have gone through big life changes or things to that nature, and when they do finally talk to their spouse, they're shocked at, like, how accepting they actually are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm not saying everybody out there go out and do this a second? I mean, do you? But at the end of the day, for us that has been a beautiful thing, because I feel like we can be so transparent, so conversational now and we just know we want to be together. And that's the thing we really established from the very beginning is do we really really want this? And we do.
Speaker 2:And I think one of the hard parts and you can talk to this too is like allowing your partner to process. Yeah, that was really hard for me.
Speaker 2:Really hard for you? Yes, because there's, I think, fairy tales or fantasies that we all kind of like latch onto or have a belief system around, and it's just life, like it's so easy to get those attached to us and when they start to fall away, it is a process and again there's all these little mini grief cycles that we go through and it's like the you know, the death of an identity is still a process and again there's all these little mini grief cycles that we go through and it's like the death of an identity is still a death. Amen. And so holding that container and that space and that love and allowing your partner to process is very difficult, but it's also beautiful. It is.
Speaker 1:It's a beautiful thing. So hopefully this was helpful for some of you out there. If you have any other questions, comments, things you want us to be more elaborate on, uh, be more authentic, bring more things up. We're happy to. Um, at the same time, we want to really be there. We really truly want people to architect their life by design. Because we really felt like our lives were taken away from us. We gave our power away, we gave our authority away, we gave our life away because those who write history control the world. Yeah, those who write certain books do certain things. We just give that power and authority away because we know that they're the masters. Yeah, so we think, and what we're saying is, is that that's okay. If that's who you are, great, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:But at the end of the day, like we wanted to write our life story, we wanted to write our video game. If you want to say whatever you want to say, we decided what do we really freaking want? And if we're going to do this together in a partnership, what does that look like? How do we do it? And we started to put this process together. We've made it 11 steps. It's a total transformation in 11 steps. Right, but you have to get real with you individually first before you decide to do this and integrate it in the partnership. Right, and we call that your codexes and your North Star. But once again, once you have those and we went through this last five years we've been developing, going through challenging these things, redoing them, go through them again to where we wrote a book on it. We put the book out. We have been going through this now with other individuals and bringing them in and doing all this kind of stuff and it has been absolutely awesome. That doesn't mean you have to give up anything.
Speaker 2:Like we're not saying you, you have to give up anything. So that's a beautiful thing Everybody gets to write their own story.
Speaker 1:Yes, no matter what that looks like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, judging here no judging.
Speaker 1:And then we've taken that and we've said, okay, now we need to put on couples retreats. And we have our first couples retreat in October.
Speaker 2:October Yep.
Speaker 1:And we're going to start to explore with others how we work as a couple. Yeah.
Speaker 1:How we communicate with each other, what our sex life's like, what our mannerisms of how we talk to our children, how we raise our children, how we've re-looked at how we raise our children and all those kinds of things.
Speaker 1:And this has been so much fun for us as a couple and this has been my life passion fun for us as a couple and this has been my life passion and I know Sonny's life's passion in really bringing this and shedding light on architecting your life by design and to expand that a little further. With AI and with things coming out, there's a lot more. I mean, if you look at therapy sessions now, I'm so proud of humans. They're actually going and getting help. I'm so proud of humans. They're actually going and getting help whereas before they weren't. And what I'm suggesting is it's going to keep growing, but we want to be part of that. We want to help people. We want to show them what they were individually created for, find what they were designed for, help them expand that into wealth, help them expand that in their partnerships, help them expand that with their relationships and have the bliss life that they deserve to have on the terms that they've architected by design.
Speaker 2:So beautiful.
Speaker 1:So anyway, if you want to keep that journey going with us, we would love to have you part of any of our programs. But if nothing else, we want to be a listening ear and build a community of people that have ears to listen to you. Not judge you, but listen to you. Give you ideas, things that you can take Doesn't mean you have to accept them. Always keep that in mind. There is nothing that Sonny and I say you should accept for face value.
Speaker 1:No go explore it for yourself, rethink about it, do things Then find out what your codex is, but allow it to change as you grow. Just like a tree, the roots have to grow deep, and then the trunk, then the fruit. All those things are a process. We understand that process. We're grateful for this podcast. We're so grateful for you, the listener. If this is beneficial for anybody out there that is going through a challenging time right now, in challenging a belief something's happened in their life, really trying to find themselves, we would love them to be part of our community and love to be that for them. Is there any final words that you'd like to add, sonny?
Speaker 2:No, I think you've said it all so well. I don't think I could add anything more to that.
Speaker 1:Well, once again, we're so grateful for you guys. Thank you for listening to this podcast. If there's any comments, things like that, please let us know. If there's any other episodes you'd like us to do, we need your feedback. We need to grow this to get it out to the world, to.
