We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Are You Thinking or Being Thought? Are You Constantly Scrolling a Mental Feed You Didn’t Curate?

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 83

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In this episode, we’re unpacking a big question: Are you actually thinking, or are you just being thought? 

Most people never stop to consider that their thoughts aren’t fully their own. Like breathing, thinking happens automatically, but that doesn’t mean it’s happening intentionally. We explore how most of what runs through your mind each day is recycled noise, shaped by your past, your culture, your fears, and yes… even your social media feed. But here’s the twist: once you become aware of it, you can start rewriting the whole thing.

We’ll also dive into how AI reflects the energy of your questions, and how using it with intention can sharpen your clarity, or spiral you deeper into confirmation bias. 

Whether you’re creating content, chasing goals, or just trying to feel less overwhelmed by your own brain, this episode will help you take back the steering wheel. Let’s talk about mental hygiene, digital discernment, and why your attention is the most creative force in your life.

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Bart:

Mm-hmm, welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, sunny.

Sunny:

Thanks, bart. All right, so I'm going to talk about the concept of, I guess, the fact that automatic doesn't always mean aligned, so breathing is something we do automatically. Yep, thank heavens we don't have to sit and think about each and every breath we take. That would be exhausting.

Bart:

It would be Not to mention dangerous.

Sunny:

Like make one little mistake and you are no longer here, right Right, some of us learned that just because breathing is automatic, it doesn't mean the way we breathe is always beneficial, correct, and I think you can talk a little bit about this in regards to breathwork.

Bart:

Yeah, as I've stepped into this breathwork journey, I find that you know there's so many different ways that you can affect your body and the things that you want and outcomes you want, by different ways that you breathe. We all know you're very familiar with the Wim Hof method because you, you know, we Wim Hof method, Cause you, you know, we, obviously that's where kind of I think breathwork really got its big, you know, splash into the world. Um, there's, but there's all sorts of different modalities, Um, and as a matter of fact, it's funny, I learned this on my when I was in Japan. I learned Japanese and I'd find a new word and it would be like oh, my gosh, I found the Holy Grail.

Bart:

And then all of a sudden I'd go out in conversation and find that everybody was saying it and I was like what? Like how did I miss that word? All the time, Right. And now I watch every podcast that I'm watching, like on the diary of the CEO or here or there, and it all talks or somebody refers to breathwork and I'm like am I just been missing this or has it been out of my code or what's going on here? But yeah, um, you learn so much and you learn how, in all these different therapies, meditations, all sorts of things, the breath is a key factor to the success and, um, the outcomes that people are getting through. It is absolutely astounding, and I just accredit it to a lot of things like water. You know, we, we take it for granted sometimes, but reality is is what is our body made up? The sun, how much sun do we really need? We don't think about that as we sit in an office every day, but yet here's red light therapy taking over the world.

Bart:

We're just being more conscious of so many things, I guess, or I am, and that's the realization I'm coming to. Maybe it's just me.

Sunny:

Maybe Me as well. So breathwork shows us that by intentionally choosing how we breathe simple as that, choosing how we breathe and for how long, I guess we choose to do it for we can shift our state. We can release emotion, done my share of that with breathwork and unlock deeper parts of ourselves. So a basic function becomes transformational when guided with awareness. Yep, right, and here's the. I guess the tie over for me is you don't have to be thinking to have thoughts. So thoughts, believe it or not, are the same way.

Sunny:

Yeah, having thoughts is passive, it's what happens to you, just like breath, thoughts flow, whether you want them to or not, constant looping and often unconscious. And the statistic is that psychologists estimate we have 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. I believe it, and over 90% of those over 90% are recycled from the day before. How crazy. So most are shaped by habit, fear, memory, trauma, social programming or unresolved emotion, and especially during times of stress. I don't think this is any surprise, but these thoughts tend to tilt negative and self-defeating. So here we are, sitting in our little worlds and thoughts are coming and going and we're thinking we're thinking, we're not.

Sunny:

We're not thinking, we're just having thoughts, so you don't have to be thinking. It's like you're scrolling a mental feed you didn't curate all day long. You ever been guilty of that Scrolling a mental feed you didn't curate? Yeah, 100. What do you think about that analogy?

Bart:

I think it's so good because I think so many times. I think I'm thinking, but it's because a thought popped in my head and I'm actually just making it looping around or I'm adding to it or you know these kind of things.

Bart:

Instead of, just like I did that just pop in my head and you know, letting it go aside and be aware of my thoughts, I sometimes get very much caught up in them. Just because they're there, they're on my mind, or I get something anchored on my mind and I can't get it out of my mind. You hear that all the time. So I've really had to learn a way of just like, okay, why is this here, why is it bugging me so much and what is the root from this?

Bart:

you know, but yeah most definitely a good good thing.

Sunny:

Yeah, so, just like breathwork, there's another layer available to us, and that is thinking. Again, just having a thought does not mean you're thinking. It's active, it's intentional. It requires focus, effort and choice. Well, again, having thoughts is automatic. Thinking is the conscious organization of mental energy into meaning. It's the act of choosing what to focus on, how to interpret and what narrative to follow. Again, I think it's like that thing. We're always having stories come in and out and like what story do we choose to tell about ourselves? Yep, you know, and if we don't think about it, we are just going to go into default story mode, totally. So it's really how we reclaim authorship over our minds is a power switch. You can flip it on or you can leave it in default mode. But again, we talk about this all the time if you don't consciously take charge of things, something else will yeah, absolutely right, um.

Sunny:

So when you train your mind to think, you tune it to higher frequencies.

Bart:

Yeah, it's like words matter, right Same thing as thoughts. Thoughts matter, so you got to.

Sunny:

Thoughts kind of well they come in words.

Bart:

Yeah.

Sunny:

Yeah, so we can tune them to gratitude, purpose, clarity, creativity, If we want to. You can interrupt destructive loops, Like you were just saying. Like if you sit and actually think where did this thought come from? What's it trying to tell me, Like what's the root of it, Then you're interrupting those things that are happening without your consent, really. So you can interrupt things like perfectionism, procrastination or shame and you begin to respond instead of react. So no more survival, you're stepping into creation. So choosing to think is only half the battle. The other half is what are you going to think about? Right, where attention goes, reality grows. So your focus isn't neutral right why do you think that is?

Bart:

well, I think it's important to understand that, because we are the creators of what we're doing and are creators of our lives. So, you know, the more we and that's why I'm so big on our why statements, that's why I'm so big on labeling, that's why I'm so big on all those kinds of things is because where your focus is, no matter how you want to look at it is what you're going to create and what you're going to do, and what you're going to do. And you know, I used to take this I don't know why, but, like I, I didn't take it for granted, I just didn't understand it. So I was sitting, just really think and think and think on something and, to the point, almost I was crazy about it. And then, all of a sudden, I'd find out I was attracting it and I was like that's not what I wanted.

Bart:

So, for example, I want to lose weight. I want to lose weight, I want to be this, I want to be that. Well, I'm still thinking on it, but get a one. What am I really attracting? Is not the loss of weight because of my vocabulary, my thought process, all that kind of stuff. And I won't get too deep into that, but like sometimes, I thought I was doing a good thing, when reality was I was sabotaging myself.

Sunny:

Yeah, and I think sometimes for me it was like I, I don't know, I feel like maybe I thought that saying things out loud was more powerful than what I was saying in my mind, but really it's everything.

Bart:

Doesn't matter, yeah, yeah.

Sunny:

Yeah, so every masterpiece, every movement, every innovation started with someone who not only thought but chose what to think about. So, even if you just look around you the phone in your hand, the language we speak, the fears we inherited, the systems that we live inside all of it was shaped by someone else's focused thought. Yep, it's pretty powerful.

Bart:

It's really powerful. Thank goodness people have thoughts, or we wouldn't have anything.

Sunny:

I know it's true, and it's funny too, because I think a lot of people are negative towards thoughts. I don't know how to say it differently. But like when you go into meditation, for example and I'm not saying this is wrong, because I think it's right, don't have a thought, don't have a thought, don't have a thought and it's almost like you start thinking well, we shouldn't have thoughts, we shouldn't have thoughts, but really we should. We just need to focus them. Am I saying that right?

Bart:

Yeah, and if you study on meditation, it's not about not having a thought, it actually is. When you have the thought and you come back to the meditation, you're the one that's in charge at that point in time, because you refocused from the thought.

Sunny:

Yeah, and I think, oh, go ahead, go ahead.

Bart:

I think it's important that we understand that you're going to have thoughts and meditation, you're going to have thoughts and breath work, but when you really take charge is when you have that realization of oh my gosh, I had this, I did it. Now I'm going to go back to what I really want to be into, which is this breath work or whatever it might be.

Sunny:

Yeah, and I remember I heard I want to say it was Sadhguru talking about that and he was like trying to tell your mind not to have a thought is like trying to tell one of your organs not to work yeah, exactly you know, it just doesn't make any sense totally yeah, exactly right, it's really about bringing that awareness back. Okay, so we've heard this said a kajillion times, but thoughts become things, and I've heard it said, not sometimes, but always yeah, I believe that you know.

Bart:

you know, like I've talked to this a lot about this in different masterminds and stuff like that Like I'll have a thought that I should create X, y, z, and then I put that thought off. But what I don't realize is, as soon as I've had it multiple other people have had it too, or actually it's creating energy around the thought, and so therefore it's going to come about and so it's just. It just depends on if it's mine that I want to bring about or if it's somebody else that I'm just like helping them bring it about. You know, but at the end of the day it's going to come to fruition.

Sunny:

Do you think that once somebody has a thought and then doesn't act on it, that that thought form is just like floating out there in the world until somebody grabs hold of it?

Bart:

Yeah, and it might even not even been your first thought, it could have been somebody else's, but yeah, for sure, like somebody had the thought or something like sparked it If they

Sunny:

don't act, it wants to be manifested somewhere in the world Interesting. So if your thoughts are running wild, untrained and unquestioned, then your greatest tool for change has become your greatest weapon against yourself. Because we talk about this a lot too. Instead of possibility, you're building your own prisons. You overthink, you underact, you confuse noise for truth, and if you don't choose your thoughts, someone else, a voice from your past, cultural narrative, fear-based complex, will choose them for you. Okay, we're gonna dive into AI a little bit here. How, bart, do you use AI without outsourcing your actual thinking to it?

Bart:

okay, here's what I've come up with. What do you see holes in this? Or where do you see other angles that I could go ponder on? That would even build my creativity even more, so I want to use it as a tool to like push me.

Bart:

So it'd be like me speaking to you. I come to you with a thought and I say, hey, I've really been pondering on this. This is my grasp on this. Do you have some insights on this? Will you give me input? Then I go back and I redo it again, and then I come back to you and say, hey, I've reangled this again. What? What do you think? Is there another way you see this?

Bart:

You know and that's, in my opinion, how masters became masters right, because they had a mentor there that they wouldn't always give them the answer necessarily, but they would like provoke the next big thing to where you're like, oh, I hadn't seen that concept and I kind of didn't even think about that. Okay, now I'm going to go, I'm going to work that through my brain, I'm going to start putting stuff to that. Then you come back to the master and say, here's kind of, with what you said, what I said, what I've come up with, what's your thoughts next? You know, or what do you think about this? So I kind of use it as a, just like I honestly, just like I have a, either a friend, or I have a a guru, or I have somebody there after I've sat and taken the time and I've meditated on it, I've pondered on it so that I know what I'm, what I'm really trying to do in my head, to get different aspects, different ideas.

Sunny:

Do you think the majority of people are using it that way? Or do you think they're kind of falling into being lazy with it and just taking the first answer and running and going?

Bart:

If I look at a lot of the world today, I mean our nature is to be lazy. Let's be clear.

Sunny:

We want the hacks. We all want the easy.

Bart:

I mean, come on, so do I? I mean, let's be honest, like I want that shortcut, I want that easiness, I want it to be simple in life, right? I mean, I think that's human nature in some ways. And so the answer is yeah. I mean, we're getting, we're. I'll find myself once in a while even trying to be lazy with it, you know, not taking as much time thinking and just trying to get the answer. But but reality is yeah for sure.

Sunny:

Yeah, I think so. So artificial intelligence, I would say, is now part of our mental environments.

Bart:

Oh yeah, for sure.

Sunny:

For sure, and it's got thoughts.

Sunny:

And like your own mind. It can either become a creative ally, like you're using it for, or a looping echo chamber, depending on how you use it. So the catch here is that AI doesn't think for you. It thinks with you. It's going to reflect back the energy of your questions. So if you use this tool for curiosity, self-awareness and its desire to grow, ai will become a powerful mirror and even a muse for you. It can help you name the invisible pattern, break old loops, bring unconscious material into conscious language, and it can help you organize ideas, stories and visions that otherwise feel like chaos. But let's say someone comes with a disempowering intent, such as revenge, control, validation of toxic beliefs. Ai is not going to stop them.

Bart:

No.

Sunny:

It will often help them do it better. So one of the most disempowering ways people use AI is to confirm their existing worldview. Let's be clear, they do this on Google and social media too, sure, but it's more personalized, I think, once they sit down and actually want to chat.

Bart:

Well, and it's more accessible. I think what we, what we don't realize is that AI is accessible to everyone, so you don't have to go, like to a, a guru, somewhere to get this kind of information anymore. And and it can it can actually outdo a guru or a scientist because it has access to all the data at one time, versus the scientist only has or you or me only have access to what we know. What we've been exposed to and I think that's the biggest part of it is is you've got something now that's accessible to every human being, at the palm of their hand at any point in time. They don't even have to set up an appointment to get this information anymore to do what they want to do.

Sunny:

Yeah, and, like I said, it's different than just going to Google because it's not as personalized. When you go to Google, Exactly Like you know, chatgpt talks to me like I'm its best friend ever. Yeah, you know.

Bart:

Yeah, in fact I saw a thing today where a lot of chat, gpt stuff's been leaked to Google because there's some box or something that people didn't click. So a lot of their private conversations or things that they're using in therapy or whatever else, has been leaked there and now it's being crawled and all these kinds of things. You know, and we're going to see all sorts of this kind of stuff happening. But my point is is that you will have conversations with this as if you're talking to a best friend where Google you're not going to it's, it's it's different in the way it's reacting to you.

Bart:

So that's what's very fascinating here is you get to see the. It's kind of like the show of the West world. You get to see the real human, because the real human comes out.

Sunny:

Yeah. So some of the questions people could be asking is why are narcissists the worst? Or how do I know I'm better than everyone else? Or how can I manipulate someone into loving me back? The AI will pull from language patterns it has seen and reflect that flavor of mind right back to that person. That's why intention is everything in our world of mind. So AI is like a giant field of potential, but so is our own organic mind. So AI is like a giant field of potential, but so is our own organic intelligence, and our questions are the tuning forks. So either one, if you're talking to your own mind or you're talking to AI, you've got to keep this in mind. Whatever frequency you bring, it's going to echo it.

Bart:

Yep, so good yeah.

Sunny:

So how do we consciously think, how do we reclaim the steering wheel of our minds?

Bart:

Well, first and foremost, I'd start with some breath work. I'd clear it by literally getting myself clear and my mind clear and back into my body. One of the things I've really found with myself is I wasn't in tune with my body, my antenna, the things I was doing. I was using my mind over my body, my antenna, the things I was doing I was, I was using my mind over my body, which kind of sounds crazy because they're connected but they're not connected and so, anyway, I don't want to get into too much, it can become disconnected.

Bart:

Yeah, and so I wasn't going to my heart, to my body, to my things, you know, and and really really making sure that I was in tune with mine, the best I possibly could be before I went to my things and my, you know, and and really really making sure that I was in tune with mine, the best I possibly could be before I went to my mind and just allowed only my mind to be running and operating.

Sunny:

Yeah, and I think our bodies have an instinctual wisdom that our minds don't have.

Bart:

It's the antenna, it's the big antenna yeah.

Sunny:

Okay, so I love that. The next one would become something that we've talked about a little bit, that's, becoming the observer of your thoughts rather than just the passenger. Um, just like breath, work begins with awareness of the inhale and exhale. Conscious thinking begins with the awareness of the mental content you're engaging with and, just like you were saying earlier, like, stop and dissect what thought is coming into your mind. Is this thought helpful or is it harmful? Is this thought mine or inherited? Does this thought expand me or diminish me? You know, get really intentional. Choose a thought on purpose, write it down, speak it out loud, anchor it with breath or movement, and then you can start to train your mind like you would train a muscle.

Bart:

Yep yeah, and I mean we even get like we watch something and that causes thoughts.

Sunny:

Yeah.

Bart:

That's why people like can't even read a book, sometimes in their minds wandering everywhere, you know, instead of like no, I don't need to wander right now, bring it back. Let's be intentional with what I'm studying, let's be intentional with what I'm doing here, you know. So our minds are super powerful.

Sunny:

They are. You can also use prompts to your own mind, like think of a chat, gpt prompt, what's a prompt you could use to remind? Like what's the story I'm telling myself right now? Isn't there another lens I could look through? Or what thought would? I think, if I trusted myself fully, that's a great one. I like that one Just, and you know we've heard it said before, but questions really do change everything.

Bart:

They do.

Sunny:

Ask the right questions, you're going to get way better answers. Another thing you can do is set aside five to ten minutes daily to just think on purpose. Don't have any distractions, no screens, just get your journal out.

Bart:

Yeah, call that journaling.

Sunny:

Yeah, just get your journal out, write down a question and focus your mind, and I think you'll be shocked about how magnetic and powerful your thinking becomes when you stop letting it be background noise and start treating it like a sacred fire. Now let's say I want to use AI in an empowering way. I think it once again comes down to questions. What kind of expansive questions can you ask, like what belief might be holding me back? Or how can I grow from this? Challenge your own thinking? You're saying use AI to explore the opposite of your current assumption. So, like what would someone with the opposite belief say about the situation? Pursue integration, not just information. So don't just ask for tips. Ask for tools that lead you back to yourself.

Bart:

Yeah, so good.

Sunny:

Guard your focus. If you find yourself using AI to stoke resentment, feed comparison or spiral into over-analysis, you need to pause and recenter yourself, or I would invite you to put it that way. I think the important thing is to remember that you're the soul. Ai is the output, so you bring the energy, the ethics and the why. Ai is going to bring structure, reflection and scope. Don't give it your will. Use it with your will. Here's a question for you Do you think there's a danger in getting too comfortable being right all the time with AI Because you know how it responds Like? This is a brilliant insight. This is so profound, like you're on the cutting edge of everything and everything you know.

Bart:

Yeah, I watched a thing the other day that talked about like, uh, ai girlfriends, and they were talking about how, with this first evolution of AI, like whatever companionship or whatever it is, it's going to always make you feel good, make you do this, make you do that, but we're not actually created as humans to actually love that for a long point in time.

Sunny:

So sounds amazing on the surface. So what they say?

Bart:

actually is the most addictive AI that will be created is one that will actually, once in a while, give you resistance and actually start to to actually get in your face a little bit, right, and so I found that really interesting, and they had a whole study on the brain and why that's important to us as humans.

Bart:

But I know that if I was with you all the time and it was always like yes, whatever you want it'd be like, are you kidding me right now, like you know, like so I know that it's there and right now we enjoy it, right it's? I mean, ai makes me feel amazing. I've never felt so smart in my life. Is what AI makes me feel, like you know? But at the end of the day, sometimes I'm like, really, can't you just like do something besides? Tell me I'm great, you know, like I don't know why I crave that.

Sunny:

I'm kind of at that. It's like okay enough with the fluffy stuff. Like just give me the answer back, don't you? Don't try to like, smooth it over with me.

Bart:

Yeah, so so I don't know like the answer is yeah, I think it's. It's a little overboard right now and we're going to get to where we don't love that, and that's part of the game, you know, and it will change. And then I think that's when you know, it'll evolve just like we do.

Sunny:

Yeah, so I like the term synthetic confidence. Ai can give us all synthetic confidence, and if we're not careful it can trap us in our echo chamber of our own brilliance. Yeah our ego. You always feel validated by it, but that doesn't mean it's truth, and that's what we've got to be careful of. Like pushback is good it sharpens our logic. Disagreement shows blind spots where we need to see them, and conflicting opinions force deeper inquiry.

Sunny:

So, you know, take your brilliance and all of the insight and everything that you're garnering from AI, but make sure you talk to people and see how they feel about it, Like you could have a whole beautiful plan built up. Walk into a room and they're going to stare at you like you're an idiot if you're not like. Just careful is all I'm saying.

Sunny:

Yeah, for sure, so you know, you could stop and say if you're like, wow, I'm right about everything, stop and say where am I not being challenged right now, or who or what have I stopped listening to? And ask yourself am I seeking confirmation or truth? I think, above everything else, remember, the most powerful questions will always come from you. Everything else remember, the most powerful questions will always come from you. Ai can hold the lantern, but it cannot name your North Star for you. So, before asking AI for help, ask yourself is this a question from my highest self or my wounded one? Because whatever you seek, just like our own bodies and incredible intellect, the algorithm will amplify. And again, like the comparison between us and AI is crazy, like whatever we're seeking for, like I said, our bodies and our minds are gonna amplify it too, like there's no difference. Yep, isn't that fascinating? Yep, yeah.

Sunny:

So I like this energetic tuning because you did bring the body into this and it's so important. You can use your entire body as an instrument to shape your life. So imagine using your breath like you're tuning your instrument. Thinking is like playing the melody Emotion is the resonance it creates in your body and then, when you take action, the ripple ascends into the world. When you take charge of your breath and your thought, you're becoming the conductor of your own symphony, instead of being a puppet of the past, beautifully said. Yeah, that's it for today, but we got some life updates.

Bart:

All right, unless you got any additional thinking thoughts, not just thoughts we want thinking thoughts. Oh, exactly, that was just beautifully said, you know, like that's yeah, our body is an instrument, let's tune it, let's make it work.

Sunny:

Make it work For sure. Okay Well, we played a little pickleball.

Bart:

We did had a lot of fun doing it. Been playing some morning pickleball. Xander's been playing some morning pickleball.

Sunny:

You had lessons for piano and uh, yeah, things are moving along. We're getting ready to live on a trip. So excited about that. You'll be gone for 15 days going to europe never been, I've never been you've been looking forward to.

Bart:

It's going to be so fun yeah, so lots of updates will be coming. Um, we hope we get a podcast out while we're on the road Can't guarantee anything, but we are so grateful for you, the listener, and so grateful for listening to us and going back and forth and bantering about all the things that are on our minds in our own house and what we're working on. So stay along for the journey. Please pass us on to somebody if you find it important for them, and we're so grateful for, once again, you as the listener and being part of this journey with us and this segment brought to you by I.

Bart:

Do Epic.

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Bart Miller

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Sunny Miller

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