We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

The Observer Effect: How Watching Yourself Changes Everything (Even Your Past)

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 80

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What if the version of you that gets everything you want already exists… but you just haven’t observed them yet?

This episode dives into one of the most mind-bending and empowering concepts in both physics and psychology: The Observer Effect. We’re talking particles that change behavior just by being watched, timelines that shift based on awareness, and why self-observation might be the missing piece between the life you’re living… and the one you say you want.

Bart and Sunny explore how this shows up in real life, through a simple (but wild) video exercise, a famous cat-in-a-box paradox, and the identity loops that keep us repeating the same day over and over again. If you’ve ever felt stuck, uncertain, or frustrated with your own patterns, this one’s for you.

Because the moment you observe it…you change it.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

We are going to go crazy today.

Speaker 1:

All right, let's do it.

Speaker 2:

I'm so excited we're going to talk about the fact that reality does not exist until it is measured.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, just like everything in life, right? It seems like if we want a good recipe, we have to measure the actual ingredients, get them precise and then instantly what happens? Magic happens, right?

Speaker 2:

Magic happens.

Speaker 1:

But if you just throw a bunch of stuff in a pan, what do you get? A bunch of goop. Doesn't taste as well, but you get something, but not what you probably want. So I find it very interesting that with my horses I measure their food. With our business, we look at our finances, but if you don't look at your finances and you don't keep track of them, for some reason, they don't just, I don't know, you can't expand them the way you want to, or they just start to actually disappear, which is interesting, right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think you have to be intentional about numbers for some reason, like even when I've gone on my weight loss journeys, it's like if I don't step on the scale, I really don't make progress. Yeah, I find it.

Speaker 1:

I find it in everything Music I watch. You know how much somebody practices Boom. In fact it was very, very interesting. I think it was the book outlier. I want to say don't quote me if I'm wrong, I'm sorry people, but you know 10,000 hours, right, boom, you become a. But you know, and I know that there's people who are saying no, that's not true and it's not the other, but I'm just saying, as in this conversation, what we measure and what we pay attention in measuring is a big deal in reality, which is very interesting. Now we're going to get into the mind aspect of measuring your mind, which is very interesting. Now we're going to get into the mind aspect of measuring your mind, knowing what that does to the outcomes that you're desiring so much.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and again, taking it a step further, saying that doesn't even exist until it's measured.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like putting an ingredient in doesn't happen Unless you're measuring it.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So last week you dropped a wild thought experiment that we discussed on our last podcast. You said imagine you had a video videographer following you around all day, every day, capturing every single moment of your life. Yep, kind of the premise was that was what would you notice about yourself if you were watching the playback? What would make you proud? What would make you pause? And at the end of the day, are you proud? What would make you pause? And at the end of the day, are you actually showing up the way you think and say you are, or are you living in a state of illusion about who you think you are? So I kind of took this a step further this last week in my studies and came up with, I guess, two definitions that I didn't. I'll just say them. Okay, so there's identity and there's character, right. And I was like what is the difference if I'm creating my character, if I'm creating my identity? What's the difference?

Speaker 2:

Turns out, identity is what you think you are or who you think you are Character is how you are showing up to the world. So we kind of dove into the fact that sometimes we have an illusion gap between who we think we are and how we're actually showing up in the world. So at the time it just felt like a powerful awareness exercise. And then fast forward. A few days later, after we sent the newsletter, we filmed the podcast, we met with our Legion 1111, inner circle, and they're actually going through this experiment these two weeks. And I look, can I just talk five seconds about the experiment.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I want you to really think about this. I want you, as a listener, to imagine yourself right now filming yourself for the next let's just say few hours. Take this challenge to yourself Now. When I did this very first time, I I never thought about somebody else watching externally my video. Now it's one thing for me to go back and watch my video and say, oh, that's how I shower. Or oh, that's how I walk to the mailbox.

Speaker 2:

Or even you know your thoughts and feelings at the time where somebody else doesn't.

Speaker 1:

Right, that's what I'm getting at, exactly where I was going with this. So it's so fascinating, even how we have sex, right, I know, I know, I'm sorry, but the reality is, you know, if you filmed all of that, and then you have somebody, or, let's say, a panel of people, they're going to write your documentary based on what they see. Now, if you haven't seen this video before, I encourage you to go find. There's a video of a they, they, they film all these ladies walking down the road and they say which one would be the one that a perpetrator would actually attack. And that's where I think this actually started popping in my head.

Speaker 1:

Because I was like, oh my gosh, it's so evident which one would be attacked. And I was like how in the world, like that person if they were watching, it would be like, well, God, that would be me. And but they don't, probably in the moment walking down that road, even have that closed in their mind, Right? Why would they?

Speaker 1:

come on, seriously, that'd be terrifying all the time you walk down the road that way. But reality is from an external standpoint. It's easy to say to that human if you were to ever meet them, say hey, would you watch this? And then, when they saw that, what would they do to change it instantly? Right, They'd be like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I had no idea I was showing up to the world this way, because that's not what I would want, type of thing, anyway.

Speaker 1:

so I won't go on too much of a rant, but I want you, as a listener, to really not listen to this podcast as oh okay, I'm just listening to podcasts. Really put yourself in this moment. Think about this and think about what we're talking about at this level of how you, literally, when you get in the shower, what do you do? What is your thoughts? How do you wash your hair? How do you care for your body? How do you see your body? When you get out and you look in the mirror, what's your first appearance of it? Do you avoid it? Do you actually look at it? You know, all these things are a big freaking deal that we take for granted. Sorry about the little ramp.

Speaker 2:

No, actually we were going to get into that a little bit, so I'm glad that you did that. Um, back to my thought was we were driving in the car after we'd done all this and had had these discussions and I this had been on my mind for a while, but for some reason I was just like, oh, I'm going to share this with Bart Right, and that is that I've decided that the most powerful tool for healing and growth is self-awareness period, and your video example fit into that so perfectly. Because it is a huge experiment in self-awareness, because once you become aware of your patterns just like you said with, maybe, the women walking down the road you can name them and you can move towards choosing something different, and that puts your entire life on a completely different trajectory. But if you aren't aware, nothing can change. Nothing can change at all. So if there is no self-awareness, those patterns are just going to keep repeating and you're going to be living in a default mode that you probably don't even know you're in.

Speaker 1:

So good, and I had an aha moment with you, in the same time thinking, dang, this is just genius, you know, and it's funny how we're having these downloads. And then you went further with it, even which?

Speaker 2:

is so exciting, so cool. Further with it even which is so exciting, so cool, yeah, so little did we know we were both tapping into one of the most powerful principles in both physics and psychology, and it's called the observer effect, and it might be the simplest way to change who you are, how you perform and what you can create in your life, because, as we've been talking, what you observe, you change. So you kind of dove into this a little bit already. Um, when you came up with this idea, were you thinking of it as a tool for accountability, or did you just know that it was tapping into something deeper?

Speaker 1:

yeah, for me, I, when I was thinking of this tool, I was thinking I want to be, so I'm going to expand on this a little bit more. One of the hardest principles I have of teaching, and if you're a listener right now and you know how to help me with this, I'm all for it. So, in fact, I was talking about this when Willie came over here the other day and visited. I said the hardest part to teach somebody is is when they invest in someone, right? So let's say, I invested in and you guys don't know him probably, but maybe some of you do Trevor Brazil. I'm going to hire him to be my team roping coach, okay, so what I do is I listen to him, I watch him, but I watch how he's throwing the rope, because that's what I want to learn. But what I'm not paying attention to is how does he live his life?

Speaker 2:

Oh, so good.

Speaker 1:

Because see, when somebody invests in somebody, we're investing in one portion that we think makes up the whole thing. But what we haven't watched is when you go over to Trevor's house, for example, everything is meticulous.

Speaker 2:

Yes, a hundred percent.

Speaker 1:

When he goes out to get on a horse. If you watch him not watch the horse, not watch anything, but you watch him. He observes the entire horse and how it's put together, from where the bits at, and you'll see him scan the entire horse and if there's a bell boot off, he fixes it. Now that's a Velcro strap, it's not going to affect the way come on he ropes. So why would you pay attention to that? Right, and I can tell you why. Because the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. But my point is, the more I observed Trevor himself and his mannerisms, then I was like, oh, that's why actors spend so much freaking time not just reading a script hoping they're going to act like somebody. So you're not just watching a course hoping you're going to get the outcome. So you're not just watching a course hoping you're going to get the outcome, they're adamant about watching footage of that human's everyday life yeah it's about embodiment, thank you.

Speaker 2:

Which is one of our principles in our new program is we are very adamant that we're not here to gather new information. We're here to embody.

Speaker 1:

And so to me, that's the fascinating part, because, see, when I went into cycling, I got the privilege to be with those people. When I did bodybuilding, I got the privilege to be with those people. When I'm team roping, I get the privilege of being with those people. When I hire an internet marketing coach, very, very freaking difficult unless I'm in the mastermind with those people. So why is it important to join a mastermind like Sonny and I? Because you get to be with the people that you're like. Oh, so that's how Sonny leans over and scratches Bart's back. That gives him the energy that when he stands up, he's connected. Or, oh my gosh, that's how Bart goes over and gets Sonny's drink and does this for her, and that triggers this endorphin that does this.

Speaker 1:

I'm not like we're learning what they're saying, but we're actually witnessing how it all happens and that, to me, that observer effect is what I'm like. Oh, no wonder I love and don't take this wrong I love and want to be Russell's friend. I know and love and want to be the masters that I'm with. I'll spend any amount of time I can with them, because it's like I learned so much when they're not on the stage or when they're not in the system that I'm like. That's my biggest takeaway, when most people, when we stand up, these masterminds have a verbal takeaway from the tactics. I, literally almost every time I give a verbal takeaway, but I'm watching, I'm watching. Where does Russell sit? What does he do when he's sitting in there listening? What does he do? What does he drink? Why does he go with all these things? Right, that's to me what I, that's what I'm investing.

Speaker 2:

It's powerful, and it's actually twofold. Also, in my opinion and that was kind of actually my next question is because you're showing up and you're observing and you're surrounding yourself with these people and you're learning how to embody traits that are important in that, but also you're showing up with them and they're observing you, yeah. So all of a sudden they're expecting more from you. You're going to show up differently than if they weren't.

Speaker 1:

So true they're high performers. Amen.

Speaker 2:

You know. So it's kind of a beautiful relationship in that regards.

Speaker 1:

And I love that you said relationship, because that's what it is. Yeah, that's what you're after, and if you want the magic ingredient when you're in the relationship, it's being an observer and a giver, not just a taker Cause like what's. What you just said is so beautiful. They're watching you too.

Speaker 2:

They are, and it's always really apparent, the people who aren't aware of the culture they're walking into. So true, you know and you see that either they're going to morph over time and really step into that, or they're just going to go away.

Speaker 1:

So good yeah.

Speaker 2:

So we're going to dive into the observer effect even more. Right on Quantum mechanics oh wow. So we're going to dive into the observer effect even more Right on Quantum mechanics oh wow.

Speaker 1:

So we're going to get into the real deep stuff, because you know this is cool if you're listening right. So it's one thing for your analytical people, it's another for your auditorial people that just want to hear, and then it's another one for the emotion to connect. So for all you visuals out there that have to know all the numbers the stats and geek out about this. This section's for you, and the rest of you might get a little bored here.

Speaker 2:

Well, I think you're going to be a little mind-blown still.

Speaker 1:

I agree.

Speaker 2:

I think, 100% agree.

Speaker 1:

But I'm saying stick through this part.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so in quantum mechanics particles do not have a fixed state period. They exist in superposition, meaning they exist in all possible versions of themselves until they are measured or observed. So cool Can you imagine. And then, the moment you observe them, the wave collapses and the particle takes form, which means possibility becomes reality.

Speaker 1:

Okay, can I just say something really crazy that just popped in my head. Yeah, I don't know why this popped in my head, so forgive me, like this is so off script, but I was thinking about the toys on Toy Story. Yeah, what the heck.

Speaker 2:

I don't see where you're going with this, but keep going.

Speaker 1:

All right, here you go. So when the little boy's with them, what are they? Their toys but as soon as the observer is gone, what are they?

Speaker 2:

yeah, they're alive. What?

Speaker 1:

no, I'm not saying that's true. I'm just saying, though, like why did that pop in my head when you were giving that example?

Speaker 2:

crazy I don't know, but it probably actually is a good example of like the observer effect all possibilities exist right and then reality. We're going to get this. Takes aside once they're observed right.

Speaker 1:

So, like a tree, I'm observing it, I'm hugging. It's giving me all this injury, energy when I walk away what is it doing?

Speaker 2:

what is it doing? I don't know okay. Anyway, sorry guys, sorry, my brain just went to that toy story thing and I don't know Okay.

Speaker 1:

Anyway sorry, guys Sorry my brain just went to that Toy Story thing and I don't know. I've not thought about Toy Story. I can't even tell you how long.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so the double slit experiment is one of the most probably well-known experiment and it shows just how weird and real this is. Okay, so I had to take this to like a fifth grade level so I could understand it. So imagine throwing tiny paintballs or, I guess, shooting them. You'd shoot them right at a wall with two slits in it. Behind it is another wall that shows where the paintballs are landing. Are we good there? So far okay.

Speaker 2:

If you shoot them one at a time, you'd expect to see two lines of splat marks, one behind each hole, like they're going through the hole they're hitting the wall. There's of splat marks, one behind each hole, like they're going through the hole. They're hitting the wall. There's the splat marks. But imagine this you're a scientist and you replace the paintballs with electrons or photons, which are light particles, and you fire them one at a time, just like the paintballs, but instead of two lines, you get a striped wave pattern. Why? Because the particles are behaving like waves. They're interfering with themselves, like they went through both slits at one time. So it's like you're shooting at one slit, but it's separating and going through both.

Speaker 2:

So, as a scientist, you say, let's find out which hole they're going through, let's watch them. So you set up a tiny camera at the slits and guess what? The moment you did that, the striped pattern disappeared. Now the particles acted like the little paintballs, again going through only one slit at a time, just because the cameras are there. No other reason. So just observing them changed how they behave. So I think that's pretty insane. Personally, how would you or could you explain this to someone who doesn't geek out on physics?

Speaker 1:

Me personally, man, it's like okay, so I mean. This makes me think of so many different examples, Like I'll never forget the first time I was called to be a nursery leader.

Speaker 2:

And for those of you who don't know, that's little kids I was babysitting up to age Like um, I want to say four at the most, maybe three during during a church session. Yeah, so like parents are gone, yeah, little kids are you got like 10 or 15 of them, little turkeys, in there just having a good old time, toys and snacks everywhere.

Speaker 1:

Life is. It's good for these little guys, little girls. My point is as soon as I walk in the room, everything shifts. As soon as I walk out of the room, little turkeys, man like no observer. Someone's crying in the corner Someone's taking another person's toy.

Speaker 1:

I've watched this with myself. Yeah, I've watched this with myself. Yeah, I've watched when I think that. So you know, this is don't take this wrong as a listener but you know, like we, we have this thing that God is always watching. So, whatever you do, you're you're, you're being observed, Right? And when you think of it that way, the action that you will take is can be very dramatically different than the action that is what's going on in your head, Like I want to do this, but I'm being observed. Therefore, I'm going to change the way I do this, and so that's a couple of ways that I've seen it, just in my own personal life.

Speaker 2:

I was even thinking having a trainer at the gym. You're going to work out a lot harder than if you're by yourself.

Speaker 1:

You know I've used this example a lot right With testosterone and men and energy with men. Right, like all of a sudden all the dudes are sitting there lifting right and this hot girl, you're maxed out.

Speaker 2:

You can't do another set. You're so fatigued.

Speaker 1:

And then, all of a sudden, the observer comes in. That's this beautiful girl, and she walks into the energy of all of us and it's like, yeah, put on another plate, let's go. You know, like it's just and all of a sudden, this energy is found it's like all these things that you're that were once again impossible are all of a sudden possible yeah fascinating, so five minute mile once it was four minutes, so my bad.

Speaker 2:

Once it was observed, suddenly everybody could do it.

Speaker 1:

Not everybody, but yeah, you could, nobody could. So yeah, so that. So there's something to all of this right that you Once it was observed Suddenly.

Speaker 2:

Everybody could do it. Not everybody, but yeah you could, nobody could.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, so there's something to all of this right that you can't deny, and it's fascinating when we do it for ourselves, and that's what I love about our playbook. Our playbook gives you the capacity to observe your business. What does journaling do? To observe your business? What does journaling do? It gives you the capacity to see your life, writing it out in your head, mind, all the connections. So so many things allow us to do this, but I don't know that we really understand what we're doing and how powerful it is for the intention.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I know I don't all the time.

Speaker 1:

And I watched this guru yesterday and I wish I could remember his name, but he said something that was so profound in this that it made me absolutely get chills down my arms. And he said when you're focused on, he was talking about breaking a brick.

Speaker 1:

He broke two bricks and the gentleman with his hand and the gentleman that asked him said you know how long would it take to do this and what would it take? And he said well, one number. One thing is you have to be able to focus all of your energy for three months, which means no distractions. He goes. What happens is in our lives. We don't understand. He called it. He called it something else, but I'm going to use it as the ripple effect. As soon as our focus touches the water, there's no way you can't stop the ripples.

Speaker 1:

So as soon as you touch something with your energy that's not focused on the one thing you want the most, you start an energy ripple effect into that. You're taking away the energy that was focused on the one thing that you were so relentless on that. You cannot build the power anymore because you're losing your energy in so many other capacities. So the squirrel effect that we have as entrepreneurs really kicks your ass, even though that's the way we're built. Because as soon as we touch the water of a new idea, it has to have a ripple effect and depending on if we smack it with our hand, if we put a boat in it, how much bigger the ripples are going to be. That take our focus.

Speaker 1:

I've heard the saying diluted focus gets diluted results yeah, but like I don't know why the way that? You said, that was just like. What am I doing with what I'm thinking about? Yeah. And how much distraction and how many ripples do I have going right now that I need to hone in?

Speaker 2:

You're so good, okay, okay, we're going to take this experiment even further and it's going to get weirder. We're back to the particles.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's go.

Speaker 2:

Okay. Later versions of the experiment observed the particles after they passed through the slits. So this is after they've gone through. The result still changed retroactively. The result, let me say that again, wow, still changed retroactively. So it's like the particle knew whether it was being watched, even in the future. So what does this mean? Reality is not fixed until it is interacted with. The universe does not decide what happens until something observes it. This leads to the profound idea that conscious observation plays a role in shaping reality, not just in physics, but in life itself so help me with this sunny and you may not have the answer.

Speaker 1:

I may not not, but let's try it. But the more I focus on AI, it also affects the future of AI.

Speaker 2:

Well, yeah, for, sure it does yeah.

Speaker 1:

And the more energy I put into it, the more my focus the more. It expands it faster. Oh yeah. For sure. The more it expands it faster, oh, yeah, for sure. So if you have a collective group that's focused on one thing the bigger the energy, the more reality changes, would you agree with that? Yeah, so that's why. Once again, what does a mastermind do? Yeah.

Speaker 1:

If you're all focused on the one thing, right, and let's just go even one step further. Sorry, you guys, but like if you hear about prayer groups, right, they pray about one individual that's in a certain situation. And the more people. You get praying, people go. It was a miracle.

Speaker 2:

Joe Dispenza does the same thing with his groups. They meditate for somebody who needs like maybe a health benefit or something, and they'll all collectively. The most powerful ones are the ones that pray for gratitude that that thing was already healed or fixed. It's not like they're praying for it to be fixed. It's like gratitude that it was, and those are even more powerful.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then think about this how many people will say to you I'm so happy for you, but inside of them, what's the real energy?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, no, I'm not happy for you, but inside of them, what's the real energy? Yeah, no, I'm not saying that but they're jealous, yeah, they're upset.

Speaker 1:

They're frustrated yeah, now does that block them? And the other person or them? I'm not going to get too far into this, but my point is is we need to keep ourselves in this state of prayer, gratitude, thankfulness for all humanity, for all things?

Speaker 2:

Yeah and I think really well, I don't want to say future vision, because there's something to being present.

Speaker 1:

We have to be present.

Speaker 2:

But it's also like thank you for this version of me that I am.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, agreed, but presence. If what you're saying to be true, we already know the future is going to happen, so we don't need to worry about the future. We just need to worry about the present, because it already is triggering the future. So so, my, so what you're saying, we just need to be be and we need to be dang grateful that we have a roof over our head.

Speaker 1:

We have these microphones to spread a message that that we have an audience that's even one person that's willing to listen to what we're looking into, what we're researching, and that one thing, if we're in this moment and this time already, is going to say okay, this is going to unlock other things to happen, not maybe for us, but for the world itself collectively.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so good. Okay, I'm going to do one more crazy experiment. It is also mind blowing to me. So it's called Schrodinger's cat and it's a famous thought experiment in quantum physics proposed by Austrian physicist Erwin Schrodinger in 1935. It always blows me away that, like so long ago, people knew this and I'm just finding out about it.

Speaker 1:

I'm the same way with the pyramids.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. So it was meant to illustrate the bizarre implications of quantum mechanics, specifically how particles exist in multiple states until they are observed. So again, all possibilities exist, right, but here's the idea. So imagine a cat sealed inside a box. It's got a radioactive atom inside that box also that has a 50% chance of decaying in one hour. 50% chance. A Geiger counter is inside to detect the decay and a vial of poison will be released if the decay is detected.

Speaker 1:

Got, it so far. So if I observe the decay right Observe the.

Speaker 2:

Not there yet, okay, okay. So so far we just have these things. We have a cat.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

We have the radioactive atom, yep. We have the Geiger counter and we have the poison. Okay, you close the box. Now if the atom decays, then the poison is released and the cat dies. If the atom does not decay, again 50% chance poison is not released and the cat lives. But here's where it gets really, really wild. According to quantum mechanics, until you open the box and observe, the atom exists in superposition, both decayed and not decayed. So the cat is also in superposition. It's both alive and dead at the same time. And it's not until you observe it that reality picks a side, that Adam is not going to do anything until you look at it.

Speaker 1:

And does it matter the energy? I look at the cat. I don't know. If I look at the cat saying it's alive, is it going to be alive? That's something.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to have to research, I saying it's alive, Is it going to be alive? That's something I'm going to have to research. I actually had that thought and I was like I need to look that up because I'm like I wonder if it matters what the observer's mindset is when they open the box.

Speaker 1:

So if I walked in, saw you laying there and I'm like she's alive, Boom, she's alive, she's dead. Oh, damn, she's dead. You know because I observed it. You know, yet you, I know.

Speaker 2:

So it's crazy. I actually had to go to Chachi PT and be like are you telling me that that atom is not going to do anything until I look at it? And they're like 100% right, it will not. Reality does not pick a side until you look at that atom. So when you think about that experiment, you know, do you think most people are walking around like that cat, alive in some dreams, dead in others, just waiting for someone to open the box.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that is very true. I think that is so true because I talk to so many people that are they're dead inside. But as soon as you say, hey, I see this in you and I see, and they're like I've had that my whole life.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's like let's bring that to life. Yeah, let's bring the fairy tales out.

Speaker 1:

Let's bring the music out. Let's bring your voice to another level.

Speaker 2:

Who are you talking about?

Speaker 1:

I don't know, but I'm saying, when you see that and if you can bring it out in them, it's like what the world just got unleashed because it was observed, it was seen inside of them. But, what's interesting is, I don't know, that everybody has that gift to see themselves, and so therefore they walk around with that. You know kind of what would you say Stagnant, it's not dead because it's not dead or alive.

Speaker 2:

The possibility is there though, yeah, and I think that's true, because sometimes it's like almost a hope that it's inside of you, but then you it's so easy to just get in these patterns of beating yourself up I'm not good enough. Nobody ever wants to hear that you know on and on. So even if it does exist, it's not allowed to.

Speaker 1:

Well, here's the term. Nobody sees me.

Speaker 2:

Nobody sees me, yep.

Speaker 1:

Nobody hears me, nobody wants me. Yeah. And when they do see me, they don't see me the way I really am. Yeah, they only see me for what they want me to be. Yeah, yeah, it's like what? So so common so as soon as somebody sees you the way that you want to be seen, your energy is like what Right? Yeah. And so, side note, just not that relates to here. Well, I'm not even going to go there, let's just keep on track.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So what does this mean for your life? So maybe you're sitting on a business idea, maybe you've been avoiding a conversation, maybe it's the version of you you've imagined becoming, but until you act, they both exist and don't exist. So until you open the box, your future is both happening and not happening. So then I was thinking okay, well, what if somebody just doesn't open the box?

Speaker 1:

What if they don't feed the cat?

Speaker 2:

So, if you don't decide and don't act, you keep living, but you're going to live in the unconscious default. You're going to be the you who could have and not the you who did Not. Choosing is still a choice, and that choice collapses you into the same as yesterday version of yourself. So patterns repeat, your identity stays frozen, the loop continues until you observe it, which is self-awareness, name it and choose differently. That's when reality bends and that's when identity shifts. That's when a new timeline begins.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So I'm going to use this as a breakdown for you guys, in a way that my mind is processing it right now, which is, if you have a computer, you turn it on every day. You see there's an update, but you don't update the computer and then eventually you're like my computer doesn't want to turn on, my computer doesn't want to do this, my computer can't open that app program, my computer can't, my computer can't. So all of a sudden you reach up, you open the box of the update. It updates. Are you in the same version that you were before you did?

Speaker 1:

good, the answer is no no you've changed a whole new reality in the computer, a whole new timeline in the computer. But sometimes that can be overwhelming and take a long time to update. Depending on how many versions you lost, you may have to even update multiple versions of yourself to catch up.

Speaker 2:

And then the apps inside of it have to be updated as well to match the version that you just upgraded to Right. Isn't that interesting, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So we instantly think oh, just because I do one thing, it's going to do all, because that's the way we are. But sometimes that's not true. We have to open multiple boxes to unlock the thing that we want the most.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Do you think people realize that not choosing is actually a choice?

Speaker 1:

So I don't think a lot of people understand the consequences of not realizing that. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But the answer is most definitely because I watch it all the time. I have watched so many people that do not update their computers. So if I can see that, I can see how they're not doing it with themselves. And I was one of those people because I knew if I updated, I may be actually further ahead than my spouse and that is an interesting thought. I might be updated further than my children. I might, I might, I might, and then all of a sudden I stifle myself because of my surroundings, the people I'm with, the things that I'm trying to accomplish, even though inside of me I know I need to update.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so how many times in your life have you felt stuck when really you were just not collapsing the wave Exactly? And what would you say to someone who's been stuck in a default identity for years?

Speaker 1:

I would say call me. You'd say what, Call me?

Speaker 2:

Call you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's have a chat, because my gift is to see in you where your updates are missing. That's just what I do. That's who I am. I'm not bragging about that. I'm not being arrogant. I'm not saying that in any way, shape or form. I'm just saying that's my superpower.

Speaker 2:

It really is. I've seen you do it in five minutes.

Speaker 1:

So I would literally say call me, invest in yourself, get on the phone, take an hour of your life and let's see what updates need to happen. Or I would say and I mean this may become arrogant to somebody listening but get in our freaking program. Let's go, because architecting your life by design in this magnetic program that we're doing is legitimately letting you, not us. This is the difference. You have to make the choice, not us.

Speaker 1:

But, it allows you to see the updates that you may not be ready or willing to update, and that's okay too, but at least you can see that there was an update there to be had.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so that's where I'm going to. Self-awareness is your measurement device, so it's your little Geiger counter or your quantum detector. So, aside from getting on the phone, bart, maybe if you aren't in that place or don't feel up to it, or whatever- at this point.

Speaker 2:

Maybe you're scared to do it, simply noticing a pattern in yourself procrastination, fear, jealousy, perfectionism is not the same as watching passively, and that was one of the things that I kind of dove into is with these scientists watching, say, the double slit experiment, just watching with their natural eyes. The particles did not do anything different. It was when they put the tiny cameras on the slits that it changed. So it has to be measured and interacted with, and that's what self-awareness does for us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so good. I will also say sometimes we update certain parts of us and we don't realize how powerful those updates were that affect everything else. So I'm going to give you an example of this. I've coached a lot of people, so don't try to predict who this person is if you know all the people I've coached.

Speaker 1:

I was coaching this amazing, amazing human being and they were having marital issues and in their marital issues, it was very stressful for both of them, and so, as I worked with their relationship and worked with each individual partner in a certain way, there was things that came up and we even had individual calls with both of them.

Speaker 1:

Now, that being said, the updates that happened there transformed the relationship. But in transforming the relationship, the individual I was actually coaching I don't think realized that that the coaching was more important there than the tactics that they wanted to learn. So therefore, they were so focused on the tactics, even though the relationship was transforming, that when it came back to renewing or doing different things, they're like no, I'm good, I've got everything okay in the business, but reality is is that if they take the other part even further, the business without anything else, would expand even further and unlock. And that's an interesting thing, because when we're hiring and investing in certain things, we're only looking for the one thing, but we don't actually realize that this other thing is. What did the transformation?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it is fascinating and it's kind of like you've been saying a lot lately and it's true, the way you do on things, the way you do everything. So even I guess what you're saying is in a relationship if, like, that's rising and you're showing up differently there, it will naturally also spill to your business. It will spill to everything.

Speaker 1:

Well, exactly so. Anyway, I could spend just so many hours on this, but what happens is that if I'm having problems in my relationship with you and we're fighting over certain things, I'm probably doing the same thing with my employees, with my kids, and I'm looking at things from a perspective so energetically. I'm stuck, but as soon as our relationship starts to shift, I'm happier and I'm also shifting relationships with other people at the exact same time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay, we're going to talk about the past a little bit. So can you change it Kind of? And here's how. So while we can't go back and change what happened in the past, we can actually change how it lives inside our nervous system. Nervous systems are a big deal. Yes, right, have you ever had a moment where just reframing something from the past completely changed how you carry it now?

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, I most definitely have yes.

Speaker 2:

So I think the goal here is Can I give you an example? Yeah, I would love one.

Speaker 1:

So when I was in high school, there was an individual that was another guy, he was a year older than I was and I looked at him as Satan. I mean this, this guy. Every time I was around him I felt like he wanted to just kill me. He was not a friend of mine, he was mean. Yeah, Like, very like. I wanted to avoid him like the plague. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I really in my my mind, through those years, was very anxious when I was around this individual, wow, and it caused me a lot of that. Well, not to say that I wouldn't confront or be in there, but it was always that like energy, that energy of like holy.

Speaker 2:

It was always that like energy, that energy of like holy shit, if this really went somewhere like in a full on fist fight, like you're kind of always in survival mode when you're around. It was not what I wanted to be in.

Speaker 1:

And it got worse because I let it build inside of me. Well then we graduate and we happen to be on a team together and at that point in time, this individual came up to me one time and is like what's going on with you, dude? And I'm like I don't know why. In that moment I looked at him and said I don't like you. And he looked at me and he goes I like you a lot. As a matter of fact, this is what I like about you. You're awesome, you do this. I've always looked up to you and I was like what, wait a minute. No, you did this, you did this. He goes dude, I was literally playing with you. Like you were my, like one of my brothers. I was raised with eight boys. You're just a brother, and that's the way I came across, and I was like you came across like a tyrant, like that was not a little brother, your poor little brothers, you know, like in my mind. But all of a sudden it rewrote.

Speaker 1:

I could look at everything going maybe it really was true, and it was true. We're still great friends to this day now. In fact, I would consider him as friend, I could call him and he would be there for me, like that. But yet how many years in my mind did I write the code?

Speaker 2:

That is a great example. So I think when we look at our past, we need to realize that that was great, like that was a good. What's the word outcome? Not everybody has one of those right Totally.

Speaker 2:

So if you need to heal from something or your nervous system's all messed up a little, pretending something didn't happen does not work. You can't just be like, no, that didn't happen, right. It means giving it a new meaning. And the fascinating thing about the past is that memory is not a static file. It's a living document. Every time you recall a memory, you reconstruct it. Every time you add compassion or insight to that moment, you rewrite it. So if you acted out of fear, maybe a few years ago, if you never reflect on it, your nervous system stores that reaction is this is how I respond to stress and every single time it's going to keep going and going and going in that pattern, that pattern, that pattern right. But if you later observe it with compassion and awareness, maybe you sit back and go. You know what? I was afraid, I didn't feel safe, I needed boundaries, and, just like you were saying, you update that code and your nervous system now holds a new imprint of who you are in relationship to that event.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so how I coach people to do this is is like if you saw an accident and you put five people around the accident, every one of them is going to write their code differently. So what you want to think about is okay, I'm going to step in the shoes of the way Sonny saw the accident and then, as I interviewed Sonny, she's like oh no, no, no, it was, it was totally fine. I saw it from this angle and I'm like but I saw this, and if I can allow myself to rewrite the code of saying there was five different people that saw this differently and I elect to see it from this energetic state, from the way. This is the way that is, all of a sudden, I can rewrite the whole dynamic, including I've done that with my parents Like I didn't know what my mom or dad were going through in that freaking moment. I had no clue. I only saw it from my shoes. Therefore, I wrote the code not knowing I had the possibility to rewrite the code from their shoes and from other observers shoes.

Speaker 1:

As soon as I looked at it from that way, I'm like, oh man, they were doing the best they freaking could. Are you kidding me? Why am I doing this? And then all that way I'm like, oh man, they were doing the best they freaking could. Are you kidding me? Why am I doing this? Yeah, and then all of a sudden it's like, whoa, this is awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you feel that energy release almost 100%. Yeah. So just like the delayed choice experiment where the particles behave differently based on how they were observed in the future, that makes sense again. Future, that makes sense again. You can collapse a wound into wisdom simply by shining a light on it, reframing it, adding different meaning to it, a different perception. Sometimes it just takes a little grace too. So if someone's listening right now and you're stuck in indecision, afraid to make the leap, what's the first step toward becoming the observer?

Speaker 1:

First step is journaling. In my opinion, you got to start to go back to those moments, journal and then journal, as if not only it's you and the emotions, but what if? What if my mother saw it this way? What if my mother was in this type of state and I didn't understand what if? And then write those possibilities down and ask yourself from your 80 year old self yeah would this be true?

Speaker 2:

yeah, and I also love, like. What is the gift I received from this?

Speaker 1:

yeah, and the other part is is think about what you've done to others that they may have not understood from where you're at. Yeah, they observed it from their shoes and you wish that they would give you grace in saying, oh man, if I could have walked in here, I would have never and, matter of fact, I would have cheered you on, I would have helped more, I would have done, I would have, I would have. So I always say it from both angles, like because I've affected you, sunny, in ways that I, honestly, inside of myself, would have never wanted. But as you explained them from your shoes, I'm like I would have been a freaking tyrant to you, I was Satan to you, and reality is, is that you could have seen it that way, very, very freaking easily, right? But as soon as we communicate about it, you have the choice of saying man, I had no idea you were there, no wonder I saw, but just like the example I used in high school. Then, all of a sudden, it changes everything. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's like I've got to give more grace here and understanding than just jumping to a conclusion.

Speaker 2:

And vice versa. Right, exactly. I love the communication tool of like the story in my head is this? Yes, because it really is a story in my head and I find that 90% or higher of the time it's not true, it's just perception. Yeah, right, okay.

Speaker 2:

So final thoughts you don't have to hustle harder, you don't need to fix every part of yourself before you move forward. You just need to become aware, observe, see with honesty, with curiosity and with compassion, like I love the videographer experiment, because we're like don't judge, just observe. Like there's no judgment at this moment. You know, the moment you do. Pattern shift, identity bends, possibility becomes reality, whether it's a new idea, a new habit or a new version of you. It's not waiting for more time, it's waiting to be seen. So this week, become the observer of your own life, watch how you move, catch the patterns. That's been fascinating for me and it makes me get really real with myself, real fast, name what's real and then ask yourself if I were playing full out, what would I choose next? Because you are the measurement device and what you observe, you change. Don't let your future stay in the box. Open it, name it, live it and play full out.

Speaker 1:

Amen, amen, amen. And thank you listeners, for listening to all this, thank you, sunny, for diving into this and thank you, universe, for allowing both Sunny and I to have our antennas in tune to start to draw the information that we feel like is so important for you, the listener, and for us to be able to go through. And I can tell you that, as Sonny and I go through our life, I know you guys don't see it on the other side and you probably don't hear it all the time, but we literally are pushing ourselves, our boundaries, our minds, our everything, to be ready for what we are, as organic intelligence. Now we're not saying you have to follow our money, our model, to be perfect.

Speaker 2:

We're saying it's easy either.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're not saying it's easy, either Right, but what we are saying is it's worth understanding ourselves and how we were created and what we were created to do.

Speaker 2:

Amen. I didn't write down life updates, so can you think of any, or should we?

Speaker 1:

So life updates is that we have now had our daughter and son-in-law come and visit us, which was absolutely awesome for the 4th of July and it was so fun. I think a lot of you know that I am a breathwork certified instructor. Should have that done in the next week, so if you're ever wanting to transform your life through breathwork. I am going to be a full certified breathwork instructor.

Speaker 2:

We have been doing that at night and I must say like I'm one that kind of digs my heels in, because if something takes my energy, like sometimes, it's hard for me to bite off on it, but it's been transformational.

Speaker 1:

It is transformational, and so I'm super grateful for the people who put this breathwork course on, and, man, it has been a game changer. I've done breathwork several times in my life and, like Sunny said, it's one of those things that we find a lot of resistance around, and I think it's because it's called breath work, and anytime we put the term work, we look and say I don't want to do the work, I just want it to happen for me. So I wish I could call it something different, but right now that's the term that's tied to it. It's called breath work. And so when I would get in there and I would start to think I'm just breathing I breathe every day anyways Like what is the big, freaking deal? But, as I've done it every single time in my life, there's not one time I haven't dedicated my energy to it that I haven't absolutely come out the other side saying I can't wait to do it again. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I can't wait to do it again. I can't wait to do it again, and so I'm fighting through what that resistance is inside of me. And also it's very challenging for me to want to do it and be a facilitator, and usually I'm the one that wants to be a facilitator, but right now I'm finding some resistance in wanting to facilitate. I just want to enjoy it for myself.

Speaker 1:

I just want to go through it for myself. I just want all the transformations Like, I want the guilty pleasure of it's all. I found the what's the water of you know, the fountain of youth. Somebody else do it and accomplish it. I could be doing it for myself. Let's go. And that's something in my mind.

Speaker 2:

I'm not usually like no, you never are.

Speaker 1:

I never liked that.

Speaker 2:

So it's like I always want to share.

Speaker 1:

I do and I want to be part of it, but right now I'm like no, I just, I just rather have another facilitator facilitate for me, and that's so selfish, but inside of me that's where.

Speaker 1:

I'm fighting that a little bit. So, anyway, but yeah, we bought the breathwork company, uh, so we're doing that. We'll be doing that through every month, we'll be doing that for our uh, our elites, and so I'm super stoked about that. And, uh, let me think what else we, um, we have our son here from Vietnam right now, which I think you guys know, but that's been enjoyable.

Speaker 2:

We bought some tickets and we are going to Europe in August.

Speaker 1:

We are doing that. We're also our little guy, xander, has been taking guitar lessons. Yeah. And that's been magical because he gets really excited about that. We've played very little pickleball, which is rare for us, that's true, we've been busy.

Speaker 1:

We've been super busy and I feel like I'm in a real learning mode journey. So Sonny and I have been spending a lot of time studying, putting our courses together, really focused on transformation for us and for those that are in our programs. So we've been doing that. We've been investing like Sonny said we're going to. We're investing in a big event that we're going to in Sweden and that is going to be mind-blowing for our couples, because we want and desire to help couples to understand what they can do together and how they can accelerate their lives. So that's kind of the big updates I see right now. We've been getting our new cameras set up. We're sorry we shot with them for this actual episode and did not have it all mastered because we're on our own figuring this out, but we will get it mastered.

Speaker 1:

We know it's a must and one of our cameras overheated so we got a fan for it so that it won't overheat, but you guys are done listening, so we'll shut this podcast down on all of our updates that we're trying to think of. We love you guys. We're grateful for you. If this message resonated with you and you think it will resonate with somebody else, I beg you, just like I would, to send a gratitude text this is a gratitude text to somebody to say hey, here you go. This might be something to listen to. This crazy couple might be on to something and with that, this segment brought to you by I Do Epic.

People on this episode

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Bart Miller

Host
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Sunny Miller

Host