We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Why Villains Matter More Than Heroes

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 72

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They told you to slay your demons. What if the real transformation comes from learning their names?
In this episode, we dismantle the myth that heroes rise because of virtue. They don’t. They rise because something, or someone, forces them to. We discuss why your life won’t shift just because you dream bigger, but because something threatens the version of you that’s too afraid to move.

The villain isn’t always out there. Most of the time, it’s you.
From fairy tales like Rumpelstiltskin to the fall of Anakin Skywalker, we explore how villains (internal or external) are the psychological catalysts that make growth possible. We talk about how most people don’t fail because of a lack of opportunity, but because they’ve made peace with the very thing sabotaging them.

This episode will challenge you, expose you, and if you let it, it’ll forge you.
Because playing full out in life doesn’t mean avoiding the villain- it means facing it, integrating it, and becoming unstoppable because of it.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

Today we are going to talk about why villains matter more than heroes. That's a cool concept, we are going to uncover the lies we're sold about heroes.

Speaker 1:

Woo, let's go.

Speaker 2:

You know there's a fairy tale. You know how passionate I am about fairy tales. There's one that's pretty haunting and it's not a pretty one. It's Rumpelstiltskin. You've got a girl. She's powerless, desperate and she's cornered. Her life depends on being able to spin straw into gold. So she makes a deal and she trades something she doesn't think she'll ever need in order for her to survive her firstborn child. And then she forgets until one day the price comes due. That is what we do. We make quiet deals, with fear, with silence and with comfort. We convince ourselves we're being smart or strategic, but really we just don't want to bleed. And then one day we wake up and realize we gave away everything that made us powerful, we handed over our power, while telling ourselves the villain is out there somewhere. But the truth is, the villain's always been inside the room.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so good, so good, so much I want to say on that, but I won't Keep going.

Speaker 2:

Why not?

Speaker 1:

Well, I mean, I just look in real life. I mean, how many scenarios are like that Right and uh, we quietly, even though we don't know what we're suffering, we're going through all these different mental things. You know we're just doing all these things, but it's like we're really just. Uh, how do I say it for number one, which is us?

Speaker 2:

we think in the right way. Right, it's just like the princess, right? She thinks her survival depends on it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and the magnitude of what she did right, and the repercussions of what she did are so large. But in the moment, what are we really thinking about, right?

Speaker 2:

And we realized too late that the cost was too great. Yeah, I mean anyway, I like I said so much to talk about there, so yes, the villain is the deal we made with ourselves when no one was watching Yep, the habit we chose over the risk, the belief we kept so we wouldn't have to stretch the voice. You hear when you're about to act.

Speaker 1:

That's not just doubt that is Rumpelstiltskin at the door. Yeah, I remember at the last event we were at, we were sitting there and learning how to be great storytellers and he said something that was really good. He said that you might be an introvert, you might be all these things, but the thing I want you to think about is how selfish you're being by not telling your story and being vulnerable. And it was just like a big ton of rocks for some reason, because I don't feel like I'm really introverted. But there's a lot of stories I don't share because they're so personal to me. But every time I do share them, the impact is great. It really, you know. But uh, it just really really hit me like this right here. You know, it's just like dang, it's like what am I? Anyway, I'll quit ranting, but I just thought it was so good.

Speaker 2:

It's not ranting. That is really good and I remember him saying that and it affected me the same way. It's like, wow, you know all of us have unique perspectives and stories and messages to share with the world. You never know who it's going to affect. Like he says, you know whose stars you're going to change, what trajectory someone can get on. That's going to be such a better place for them to be because you opened your mouth.

Speaker 1:

And what's crazy about that is even the terminology that I say when I'm saying that almost gives me an icky feeling by saying it's my story. Therefore, I have the rights to choose if I share it or don't share it when reality is. Is it truly my story? You know what I mean Like. Is it mine to keep to me or is it? Is it really like? Think about this. Is it the world story and I was given the rights to the story to share? You know what I mean Like.

Speaker 1:

I don't, I don't know, I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to go with it but like.

Speaker 1:

It's like we, it's like this is my house. Therefore, you know no one, no, no trespassing, no, nothing. But is it really? Or was that really anybody's house? You know what I mean, Like perspective changes, when you start to have a shift in what is everything we have. What do we feel like? Why do we have to control all these blessings and all these gifts? That they're mine sometimes, you know, and that's what's kind of playing in my head there.

Speaker 2:

That's very insightful. Okay, so the villain is the shadow version of you. So you're actually looking in a mirror when you confront a villain. You know your villain better than you think you do. It's the voice in your head, the loop. You can't stop playing. If you want to know who is actually holding the pen to your story, you don't have to look very far. And, as the episode started, villains are actually more important than heroes, because, think about it no hero rises without a villain. Harry without Voldemort is just a kid with trauma. Luke without Vader is a farmer in a beige, humdrum world. Scar made Simba a king. It's actually the villain that makes the story matter.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's so true.

Speaker 2:

But most people don't recognize the villain for what it is because, as we've been talking, it doesn't always show up with things and fire. Sometimes it shows up as hesitation, perfectionism, a pattern you can't quite quit. I've been recognizing a lot of patterns in my life. It doesn't always chase you. Sometimes it enticingly invites you to stay small.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And here's where I think is a little tricky when you think about villains. So sometimes the villain comes from the outside right An unexpected betrayal, a massive failure, a rock bottom moment. Think about divorce, about job loss, about health crisis, all these external things that can come into play right and those crack your certainty in half. Sometimes it's born inside, crafted, as we were saying, from fear, perfectionism or the quiet, haunting belief that you're not enough. But really, whether the villain comes in like a wrecking ball or whispers from the inside of your own head, it's doing the same thing. It's forcing you to look at what you've avoided.

Speaker 1:

So can I just ask this question to you, just because we're on this subject, is you know? So is the villain I mean not, I don't know how to say this the right way, so I'll just try to say it, but is the villain really the bad guy or is he the good guy?

Speaker 2:

That's the question, right.

Speaker 1:

In the roundabout way, because the villain is the one that is bringing all this to you, but the way that they're approaching it, you don't like it, because it's contradicting everything that you think. So therefore, we turn it into the bad guy instead of like really being grateful. But anyway, I'm sure you get more into that.

Speaker 2:

I don't fully. And the thing that I've really been diving into and studying because, as as you know, I'm going to start talking a lot about fairy tales and the psyche is that there's usually like a dominant um consciousness or complex our ego or whatever that's at play in our minds. Right, something has to challenge that in order for that to grow or to change or to transform into like whoever we want to become. They always pose as villains, but really they're a catalyst.

Speaker 1:

They are a catalyst, and I look at a lot of the top people in the world and even I can't remember which president wrote a letter to his villain when he died and was like I can't, I'm so, so grateful and I'm so disappointed that he died, because that's the one I clinged on, that's the one that drove me and I was like when you can recognize your villain and literally be cheering your villain on and cheering him on, but in essence you're like okay, even down to when they're gone and let's say, you even defeated them're like disappointed because it's like no, I need you to keep my. You know Michael Jordan the same way. He knew how to bring the villain to attack himself, to make himself drive to that next level. There's so many people like this, but they anyway. It just is so fascinating to me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I do talk about that a little bit later on, because it's really like the depth of our villain, the power of it, will kind of determine how far we can grow right, so the more you fuel it, actually, the better off you are if you can use it as fuel.

Speaker 1:

Amen.

Speaker 2:

So external villains initiate the plot. Right, they're the trigger point. Internal villains reveal the character arc. So one throws the first punch, the other decides if you rise or retreat. Either way, you don't get to skip the fight.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, you're going to fight it, no matter what.

Speaker 2:

If you're not actively architecting your life by design, if you're not intentionally and consciously trying to transform yourself, I can guarantee 1000% life is going to throw something at you that will either force you to do it or you will become less than you were.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think this happens in the workplace, it happens in all these different things, and that's why in the hero's journey, there's a villain. Right, there has to be a villain. And so sometimes you know it's, it's funny, because everybody's like, oh, I'm so safe, I'm secure in my, in my life, and I'm like it's never. You want to not say that, right, cause I mean it's good to say that. But you know, just look at the e-comm right now world, like all these people that were so secure, so everything, all of a sudden Trump goes. You know, it's like COVID just hit them. It's like boom. Now life instantly and dramatically is changing their whole world, which turns Amazon into the villain, china into the villain, trump into the villain. But are they really? Or is it just growth? Right, and that's the hardest thing to get in your head sometimes is like whoa, whoa, whoa. But this was out of my, this couldn't be. But reality is it's always happening, always.

Speaker 2:

It's all how we know what we're doing and how we navigate it that makes the biggest difference it is, and you know we like I don't know we've talked a lot about the purpose of life and maybe why we're here, but a lot of that is transformation and growth, and so you know our souls aren't really too concerned about the chaos we're thrown into, because we want to grow.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but our souls are very, very aware of how we handle the chaos. Well, that's just what I'm saying. Yeah, but our souls are very, very aware of how we handle the chaos.

Speaker 2:

Well, that's just what I'm saying.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, and that's why our bodies are that tool to show us how we're handling that chaos and what we're doing with that chaos, what we're doing with those situations, and I think that's cool to kind of just point out right here, and so I think it's a lot of fun to have this conversation. So I'm so glad you're bringing it up and it is so important because I have a lot of the people when I coach them, they want the tactics, they want all these things when, if I could just get in their psyche and help them with who they are, the tactics will come, because it affects everything in their life, just by understanding who they are in certain ways that they handle certain situations. But they get so tactically driven that all they can think about is the tactic, the tactic, the tactic. When it's like it's not the tactic that's having the problem, it's you that's having the problem and we got to fix you. But in a roundabout way, you want to blame it all on tactics, does?

Speaker 2:

that make sense Absolutely. Our inner reality is a reflection of our outside world.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Which is why it's so important to address it.

Speaker 1:

So important.

Speaker 2:

Every day, every second, every day.

Speaker 1:

And I still do the Hono Pono prayer just because of that reason. So anyway, go ahead.

Speaker 2:

We're going to go on to the confrontation, the fight. So here's what most of us humans get wrong we want to wait for life to get easier before we rise. But no one moves mountains because they're inspired. They move them because an avalanche is coming. There's a reason why diamonds are made under intense pressure and heat. Nature always shows us the initiatic path, if we just open our eyes to it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that's why people who run to the fire are the ones that are the winners. Yeah, you know. Once again, disclaimer, I'm not saying you should run into a literal fire, that you're going to be a hero. I don't want anybody coming back on me, but the analogy is is that you know, that's. That is one thing I'm going to give myself credit here for is I've never been afraid of good conversation, and what I mean by that is conflict or somebody that's riled up and that is upset. I'm not afraid to go address that because I've just found in my life I don't have to be fearful of that if I'm literally there to find a resolution, not a fight, not get it heated up, not even make it worse, but literally just come to a conclusion. Yeah Right, so anyway, just some real triggers in there that people have.

Speaker 2:

Well, and for me, like running towards the fire is also running back into the wound, and I will be the first one to say I, for a very long time, have been scared of going into my wounding.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like-.

Speaker 2:

But the thing is is like if you don't, it's always open and it never heals. So if you'll walk through the door of your wound and find the lesson, the treasures, the things that are there for you, it can finally heal. You'll have a, a scar tissue which is stronger than skin, fyi, and you'll be wiser and better and more empowered. But it's so scary because it hurts and I find you know a lot of people are just so afraid of being hurt that they avoid it yeah but it's like it's.

Speaker 2:

it's like lifting weights, like the more you do it, the better you become at it, the more resilient you become. I was talking to a guy at the event we went to at Chris Crohn's and he's like man any any more. Like as soon as I have something that hurts me, I run right into it, cause the quicker I can face it, the quicker I can see it, the you know faster I come out the other side.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then let's go to the other event we were at, uh, ray Perez's, and there was a wound guy there. Yeah, what was really interesting about what he talked about was once a wound is open up. We're talking amputation guy like he's saving people from getting amputations because when it gets to a certain stage, that's where you're at. You only have four stages from my understanding. Now, once again, I don't, I'm not, I'm not going to try to, but I want to say you said four stages.

Speaker 2:

I think there were seven or eight, but I could be wrong. Okay.

Speaker 1:

But anyway, once you get to a certain point, you have one stage. If it's not done, it's amputation. Now think about that, in a wound right, it could be opened up for a month. Let's say, and it just, if you don't address it right, what happens? It just gets worse, goes to the next stage. Then, if you don't address, it, it gets worse.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, all these things start to your skin starts dying right, all these things start to happen to where what could really happen is you could be fractured and actually have an amputation for the rest of your life because of it. You know, and thank God for new science and things like that, where they can maybe even grow these things back, which I believe they can today. You know which? That's a whole, nother conversation. But the conversation we're having right now is is that sometimes certain things cut that wound so deep, so fast, that it's already down to that last stage. Right, Right, Then what right? But you've just got to change the mindset on wherever it's at, whatever level it's at. But if it's a small wound, fix it fast. Large wound, fix it fast. It's irrelevant of what the size is, Get it done, Get it fixed. Of what the size is Get it done, get it fixed and go through the process. Yep.

Speaker 2:

So villains are psychological catalysts, like we were saying earlier. They tap into our most primal fears, the ones that are stored in our amygdala, not in our affirmations. And that is why they work. Not because they're evil, but because they force action. Without resistance there is no strength, without fear there is no courage. And without a villain there is no hero. But the danger isn't just the villain itself. The real danger is what happens when we make peace with it, when we let it settle into our identity, when we stop resisting and start accommodating. We call the fear logic, we call the comfort strategy, we call the delay wisdom. And just like the Rumpelstiltskin story, then one day you look up and realize you're not battling the villain anymore, you're serving it. Or in other words, you have become your own worst enemy and the biggest stumbling block into who you want to be.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you'll even stand up for it have become your own worst enemy and the biggest stumbling block into who you want to be. Yeah, you'll even stand up for it.

Speaker 1:

You will. Isn't that crazy? And even when people on the outside you know start to pick on your villain, you will defend it to your death and watch the scar open more and more and be like I'm okay, it's fine.

Speaker 2:

Life is good. Why are you talking to me? Yep, I don't know. So here could be a real world example. I know that we've had this happen. We have an idea, and it's a big, bold idea. We're excited about it and want to make it happen. Then we sit on it, or in a perfectionistic state, all fingers pointing at me. You rework it, retweak it, wait for the right time or maybe some better circumstances. Meanwhile, somebody else launches it and they crush it Right. That person wasn't our competition or mine. They were our catalyst. They show us what our planning was actually hiding. Maybe fear of failure would have been dressed up like a strategy, but it's the day you stop blaming the villain and start fighting is the day you start winning. So if you're stuck right now, ask yourself this what are you afraid of? What belief, habit or voice keeps you from rising, and what are you pretending not to know about? How long you've been living under its spell?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So just a few internal villains that may be lurking deep in your psyche. Procrastination seems harmless until it silently kills your dreams, right yeah, perfectionism masquerades as high standards, but is really fear of being seen failing Self-doubt the inner whisper that says you're not ready or you're not enough? Imposter syndrome you've earned it but you still feel like a fraud. Side note on that one I don't know that anybody really ever outgrows these. It's just you're conscious of them and you move forward anyway.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

Fear of rejection keeps you silent. Small or socially invisible Overwhelm paralyzes you with so many to-dos that you do none of them. Comparison destroys your confidence by measuring your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel, and then control, which is a trauma-borne villain that keeps you rigid, anxious and unable to surrender to the unknown. Yeah, so then we come to the becoming the integration. I think this is very important.

Speaker 1:

So do you talk about in here, the villain being your significant other?

Speaker 2:

No.

Speaker 1:

Well, I just think I bring it up because you know a lot of times, if you really go through who you marry, the marriage and all these kind of things in the studies, you find out that you're marrying your villain a lot of times. Right, that, as you look at relationship and some of the things that we get into, the reason we're doing that is because we're trying to fix something or we're trying to do different things, and so I just I just wondered if it was something you brought up.

Speaker 2:

Well, I brought up the the uh villain as your shadow side and if you want to see your shadow side very clearly, it is in an intimate partnership. Very cool, For sure. Um, that I I think it was Jennifer Finley, since five that says, you know, like we look at married, at marriage or longterm partnership. We want it to be a validation chamber, but it's really a mirror, so anything that like, yeah, that's the quickest way to see where your villain is or who it is.

Speaker 1:

Cool.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So once you're awakened to the villain in your life and make a determination to fight it, there's actually another step that needs to take place If you are to truly become the most authentic, powerful version of yourself, and that is integration. The goal isn't to defeat the villain, it's to integrate it, because I mean we could go into a long talk on shadows, but there's so much treasure there and power there that you do want to bring it forth. You want to use it, though. So let's talk about Anakin Skywalker. He didn't become Darth Vader because he was evil. He became Darth Vader because he was afraid, he couldn't sit with grief, he couldn't process rage, he wanted control, not surrender, and instead of facing all those things, all those villains inside of him, he let it consume him. He didn't integrate his shadow, he became it, and that's the cautionary tale of not becoming a more evolved version of yourself. So, once again, you don't slay the villain. You absorb what it came to teach you. You don't slay the villain, you absorb what it came to teach you. You take its fire, its intensity, its power, and you redirect it, because the part of you that doubts, that fears or that hides also contains your ambition, your brilliance and your resilience. So that's kind of the big paradox to me your villain is not your enemy, it's your origin story.

Speaker 2:

And just a side, note down the 21 Pilots lore that I love so much. I think that Tyler Joseph did a brilliant, brilliant job with this last album. You can go look up all the lore if you're not familiar with it. But basically he's been fighting kind of Nico who's a Bishop, but it's like his fear and his insecurities and all these things that he's constantly fighting. And in this last album he confronts it head on and you see the colors and everything in the album changed to where he's back to wearing red and stuff, which is like a, a big reveal and conclusion that all of a sudden he's integrating. Yeah, really really good, so good. Um, if you're brave enough to face it, name it and reclaim the parts of you it tried to steal, you don't just go back to who you were, you become something entirely new, and that's the goal of the hero's journey, right?

Speaker 1:

Totally, and that's why we taught magnetic, and that's exactly what happens in there, through that process that we take people through, which is called magnetic. That's exactly what we're doing.

Speaker 2:

We are, that is chapter one, that's right, okay. That's exactly what we're doing. We are, that is chapter one, that's right, okay. And then we lightly touched on this earlier. So it sounds counterintuitive. But you do want your villain to be very powerful. A weak villain doesn't just make the story boring, it betrays the very purpose of the journey. The villain sets the standard for the hero's growth. It's the measuring stick, the forge or the pressure that demands evolution. So a villain's strength is what determines the depth of the transformation. When the villain is weak, the hero never has to stretch, they never have to dig deeper, get stronger or confront their own shadows. The story flatlines, the character stays shallow and the purpose of the soul's journey to become something more is lost. So we grow in relation to the depth of the underlying tension and resistance we face so good. So you know. Think about your life there. If your problems are too easy, your fears are too vague or your challenges are too comfortable, you may have to come up with your own villain in your mind, right, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, or just look deeper I'm being serious, no, I know or just look deeper into your psyche. Yeah, and because maybe you're avoidant.

Speaker 2:

Well, sometimes I think there's two things in life that stop us from playing full out. One is fear and one is apathy. So if you're being too apathetic in your life, find a villain. Like we're about playing full out here. We're about architecting your life by design. If you're just passive and apathetic, then you're coasting.

Speaker 1:

Yep, I agree and I think sometimes that you know, even in relationship, just going back to it, you know, sonny and I have been each other's villains, let's be clear, and I think it's such a beautiful thing.

Speaker 2:

I am a formidable one.

Speaker 1:

I really do think it's a beautiful thing because it really has forced us as a couple to grow, you know, in so many ways from traditional religion to questioning what partnership really looks like, to I mean so many things that we've been able to be that villain in and really push and pull and really work and, you know, try to get into each other, to you know, but at the same time understand that we are being the villain. We're clear on that. But we're not going to, we're not going to quit and sometimes relentless in trying to figure it out. You know, and I think it's a beautiful thing when you can do this, not only for yourself and you realizing yourself, but do it in relationships and do it in stuff, but be transparent in the fact of because people say this all the time Do you care if I'm devil's advocate? What are they really saying? Can I be the villain for a few minutes?

Speaker 2:

to really I'm kind of disagreeing with you I don't want to come across like I'm.

Speaker 1:

Right, can I push back and really see? And what's so funny is when you say those words can I be devil's advocate for a second? If you watch the body language of somebody, that's not like they do not want it. They'll even say yes, but reality is inside them. They're like yeah, they're like freak. No, I don't want you, I just want you to edify me and validate me Exactly.

Speaker 2:

I just want you to edify me and validate me Exactly.

Speaker 1:

But the real superheroes in relationship and in partnerships and things are very open to please be the villain.

Speaker 2:

They are, and I'm going to go on a rant, maybe a little side note here, because people pleasing yeah. Like from a really young age and I know that men are taught this to an extent, but I feel, like women even more is that we need to be kind, people, pleasing and a little bit, you know like, yeah, just agreeable. Yeah, we don't play the devil's advocate and I just lost my train of thought and it was so good.

Speaker 1:

Oh bummer.

Speaker 2:

Where am I going?

Speaker 1:

down that with. Well. I think it's so good because when people do play the devil's advocate, it actually helps everybody grow, you know, and I think a lot of times we're not like when we're the devil's advocate. This is what's so cool about it is that we also get a step into what we believe and the things that we're facing too.

Speaker 2:

Yes, thank you for doing that, because now I remember also. So to be kind it's one thing, to be nice it's another thing to be kind, yeah. So if you're nice and sweet and people pleasing and agreeable, yes, you're going to have all the things validated for you, but if you're kind, that can be mean.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That can come across as mean that's devil's advocate can be mean. That can come across as mean, that's devil's advocate. I'm not going to allow you to sit in a truth that isn't right. I'm not going to push back, no, but if I love you, I'm going to push back. That's kindness to me.

Speaker 1:

It truly is, and it's real partnership. Yeah, because pushing back just allows you both to be real and raw and all that. So I think it's so good.

Speaker 2:

Yep, and that's what your villain in your psyche wants to do too. It wants to push back, it wants to challenge you. It's like hey, like no, and I'm going to cause problems in your life until you figure this out.

Speaker 1:

And it will too. But what's so cool is is when you face it head on. You do things, you push, you flex, you're like a rubber band, you're more flexible. All of a sudden, everything changes in your entire life and in every aspect of your life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you really feel like you're on a different timeline in your life. All of a sudden, you're like oh, I don't even recognize it anymore. Totally Okay, so, without real attention, you stay exactly where you are. You don't need new skills. You don't confront old wounds, you don't shed outdated identities. As we were saying you coast. Purpose does not live in comfort, it lives in confrontation. As we were saying pushback. We were not designed for stagnation, we were built for growth. As again, we're here to play full out, not sleepwalk, through life. Life does not want that out of us. Growth requires resistance, just like your muscles do. A powerful villain reveals just how much fire is waiting in your belly.

Speaker 2:

A weak one robs you of that discovery. So, yes, it hurts, yes, it's uncomfortable, it feels unfair, but that big, gnarly villain in your life is proof that your story matters and that something legendary is trying to emerge through you. So here's your map, step one name your villain, not fear of failure. That's too broad. Try. I'm scared to launch because of flops. I'll have to face the fact that I'm not as good as I pretend to be, whatever that might be. Be brutal. Be clear the fact that I'm not as good as I pretend to be, whatever that might be. Be brutal, be clear. And then I really think, give it an actual name. Name it. Whatever name lights a fire under you so that when you wake, up every morning.

Speaker 1:

You're ready to go?

Speaker 2:

to battle. Let's go. Step two is to define your victory. What does winning actually look like? Is it more money? Is it more truth, the ability to speak without shaking? If you don't define it, you'll never hit it. Step three plan your attack. Heroes don't rise by accident, they rise by design. What is your move? Today, tomorrow and the day after that, every day, do something intentional. Can be a small thing at first, it doesn't have to be huge. What do they say? Like 1%, better Focus on 2% better.

Speaker 2:

Focus on 2% better, and you'll find those start to compound in your life. And finally, step four integrate. Don't just fight the villain. Learn from it, Take its strength, Let it sharpen you. That's how you stop running from your shadow and start walking with it. And remember you were not born for background roles. You were born to play full out. Don't be like most people. Don't rehearse the same fear story for the rest of your life. Don't build a castle around your villain and call it stability. You were born to rise Again. You were born to architect your life on your own terms and by your own design.

Speaker 1:

Let's go we play full out.

Speaker 2:

Let's go Any last full out. Let's go Any last comments you want to make there.

Speaker 1:

No, I think we covered it really really well and if you have a listener, if you have comments or questions, let us know because we're happy to discuss this further in different aspects. But hopefully this was insightful for you and would love for you to pass it on to other people. And then we've got some life updates right now, so let's go.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we do. We've been on the go, go go. Last weekend we worked on our branding with the awesome this man, ray Perez, and we're really excited to dial in our messaging around who we are and what we do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's a good process to go through. You've never gone through a branding exercise and you should probably look at your brand every two to three years, literally, and to see where it's at, see if it's hitting, see if it's meeting the audience that you're after, you know, and the look and the feel that they're after.

Speaker 2:

Yep, we also attended Speaker and Sales Mastery, also hosted by Ray's and, as you mentioned earlier, with Dan Clark. He is a New York Times bestselling author. He has like 37 books and he's given over 6,000 speeches. Way to go, dan. Can you imagine 6,000 speeches? He's 70 years old and he was on a high school circuit for quite some time, in fact. I think he said he basically invented the high school assembly, but he was really fun to listen to. He's very hilarious and he's got a pretty cool storytelling structure.

Speaker 1:

Agreed.

Speaker 2:

And then one of our I Do Epic family members, xander got married.

Speaker 1:

Let's go Xander. Congratulations, my friend.

Speaker 2:

Congratulations. We are so honored to be able to attend his special day.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

And meet Madison Yep. And then another Xander our own Xander got his driver's license.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, got his driver's license and became first chair for next year on his saxophone.

Speaker 2:

He did. It's such a milestone when a child starts driving and for me it's just like crazy to watch him pull out and just leave, and for me it's just like crazy to watch them pull out and just leave, and I know we've done it with three other kids. But that pivotal moment in time is never lost on me. Nope, off you went. Yep, you took on the huge job of spring grooming for our two horses, duke and Rhino.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, duke and Rolex, but I've got them all cleaned up. I wrote down.

Speaker 2:

Rolex. I had Rhino in my head. Yeah, droop and Rolex, but I've got them all cleaned up. I wrote down Rolex. I had Rhino in my head.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, got them cleaned up and started riding them and getting them ready for the event that we'll have coming up.

Speaker 2:

Did a little roping Roped like a boss last night. I'm ready to take him to Vegas. Let's go Make us some money, make some money.

Speaker 1:

I'm in.

Speaker 2:

Of course we play pickleball. That's not even a question anymore, it's like a given. And then this is cool Our I Do Epic group just started a fitness challenge for May. We also started a book club, so we are reading a book that supports the challenge for the month. This month, we're going to read the Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter.

Speaker 1:

So good.

Speaker 2:

So shameless plug, come join us. We're having a lot of fun.

Speaker 1:

Amen.

Speaker 2:

So I'm going to be working out for at least 45 minutes, five days a week, drinking a gallon of water and staying away from sugar.

Speaker 1:

Let's go, Sonny.

Speaker 2:

What are you going to do?

Speaker 1:

I'm going to lose weight. It's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, all right. Last but not least, we are in full prep for our upcoming I do epic live event. We drove up there yesterday.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and this is a party, sunny night throw If you ever wanted to hang out with us and party with us and have fun with us. This is your invite. Don't look at it as an event. Look at it as getting together with us and our friends and having a great time camping, you know, having campfires, hanging out with our horses, seeing our life. You guys, this is magical. Come hang out with us?

Speaker 2:

It really is. So there's just a few seats left. I do epic livecom. There is still time to join us and it's about one month away. Let's go. Okay, I'm done.

Speaker 1:

All right, so we'll wrap this up in this segment is sponsored.

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Bart Miller

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Sunny Miller

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