We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Discover What's Holding You Back: Could the Enneagram Be Your Key to an Unstoppable Partnership?

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 69

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Digging into the mysterious world of personality types isn't just fascinating—it's revolutionary for relationships. When Bart and I discovered our Enneagram types (Bart as an assertive Type 8 and me as an introspective Type 5 with a 4 wing), we unlocked a code that transformed how we understand and support each other.

Have you ever loved someone deeply but felt disconnected because you speak different languages of affection? We share our breakthrough moment when we realized we had been loving each other intensely all along—just in ways the other couldn't recognize. Bart would bring gifts from trips while I performed acts of service, each of us showing love in our natural way without understanding what the other needed to feel loved.

The podcast explores how personality typing reveals why certain patterns create friction in relationships. When conflict arises, my tendency to withdraw and process internally clashes with Bart's direct, confrontational approach. Similarly, my essential need for solitude often collided with his desire for engagement until we understood these weren't rejections but fundamental differences in how we recharge.

What's most powerful is what happens when couples leverage their complementary strengths. A Type 5's analytical depth combined with a Type 8's decisive action creates a partnership greater than either could achieve alone. While we believe personality isn't permanent, understanding your core tendencies provides a roadmap for growth.

Whether you're navigating a romantic relationship, parenting, or professional partnerships, discovering your personality code opens doors to deeper connection. Take the Enneagram test, explore how your types interact (we suggest using ChatGPT for specific insights), and transform your understanding of yourself and those you love. Ready to turn your strong relationship into an absolute powerhouse? This is your starting point.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Well, maybe no Sunny Miller today. So Sunny got sick, so today you get me and only me. So sorry for that, but hopefully you enjoy the podcast all the same. Do you want to say anything, sunny? I absolutely do, but my voice is not having it, okay, so we'll forgive Sonny. We'll go through the newsletter and I will give you the insights that I have, the best I possibly can, without the banter of the Bart and Sonny, all right? So over the past five years, we have been becoming more and more aligned on our shared vision of the next phase of our business. We are coming together over what we are most passionate about guiding couples to align their vision, scale their business and live epic legacy lives. We are so freaking excited about what we are working on that we wanted to share a few extraordinary secrets that could redefine what it means to build a legacy partnership from the ground up, which gets me super, super stoked.

Speaker 1:

So what a lot of you don't know is most of my life has been revolved around relationships and people. You may ask yourself why. Well, my parents got divorced at a very young age and my dad was single for a very long time and in that whole scenario I ran away, didn't live with my siblings, yada, yada, yada. So, that being said, I was able to always be in conversations with my dad and adults people getting divorced, different scenarios, all that kind of stuff. So it ended up being part of my path in relationships. And then also, sonny and I have been fascinated with keeping our relationship together through the thick and the thin, no matter what challenged us to play full out. So just so you have a little background. So unlocking your hidden self, the key to transformation, relationship and relationship dynamics are extremely complicated to try to change or fix or up level If you don't have a solid understanding of yourself first, which means if you don't work on you first, there's a problem. It's not about somebody else, it's about you and you first. When you decode what makes you tick, you can begin to unlock a pathway of deeper self-understanding and personal growth. The pathway leads to transformation change in how you perceive yourself and how you interact with a partner and the world. Decoding mysteries with us, bart and Sonny. This is so fun, but not so fun. I like it when she's reading it all.

Speaker 1:

It's interesting that we are hitting on the theme of decoding of our personalities today because we have been watching a show called Westworld on Amazon Prime. Westworld is a science fiction series that explores complex themes of consciousness, free will and the nature of reality through the lens of a futuristic theme park populated by highly advanced androids known as hosts. If you were to walk into the park, you would have a real hard time telling the hosts. Apart from the humans, the park provides immersive experience for visitors, who can interact with the host in narratives, stories that span various generous and historical settings, primarily the wild west. Primarily the wild west.

Speaker 1:

The show begins with the host living out their roles in repetitive narrative loops, seemingly unaware of their artificial nature. However, as the series progress, several hosts begin to gain self-awareness, questioning their existence and the world around them. This leads to external crisis and a quest for freedom. Sound familiar, okay? So when Sonny and I started on this adventure, we heard about this show through a book I can't remember which book Sonny got it from and we're like oh, let's give it a watch, let's just think about this a little bit. So, to watch, let's just think about this a little bit. So we started watching it and both of us were like how do the movies understand the future and who we are so well? And we started to talk about different shows, that Marvel puts out all these different things and how they see and how futuristic they seem. Because this show, I think, was actually filmed six years ago, which blows my mind. Um, sunny shaking her head, was it less than that? Eight years ago, really? Okay, so eight years ago. Yet here we are today and these type of robots are there like, oh my gosh blows my mind. So we've got into really deep conversation because as you start to watch the show, you start to see very similarities in ourselves and all the things. So we'll let you watch it, love your feedback on it, but, uh, also, if you do watch it, understand that when they go into the theme park, they can do anything, so nothing's off limits. And so what it does, it's trying to bring out the real human that's inside of you. If there was no boundaries, no rules, no, nothing. So just be aware of that If you decide to take that upon yourself, all right Tools of decipher or personal narratives. So, as we start, uh, delve into our personal loops and how we interact with life, we can use tools like the Enneagram and ancient personality type system that offers deep insights into individuals, motivations, fears, behaviors to decipher and revolutionize our relationships with ourselves, as well as our personal and professional relationships. It's kind of similar to the five love languages or the erotic blueprint.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes how we give and receive love and intimacy are great geared toward how we prefer to receive love and intimacy and don't realize our partners or others need something different. Now in our relationship we uh we found this out the very first time when I was bringing a lot of things home to Sunny. I was like bringing her things home from trips, doing this, doing that, and she was doing all sorts of things for me and I got upset. She got upset and finally we started to discuss this on a deeper level that we were actually loving each other so freaking much. We didn't even know it. We didn't even recognize it because it wasn't the way we were shown love. So we were showing love to each other how our parents showed us love, how others, how we wanted to receive love, but we didn't realize that we were actually doing it for each other and we loved each other so much. Therefore, we were being upset because we weren't being shown love the way that we had learned to be shown love. After we had that communication, it was like one of the huge breakthroughs in our relationship, because we really truly saw how much we loved each other. So if you've never done this or had these type of conversations, it's very, very important to understand you and then understand your partner, and then you can start to understand each other.

Speaker 1:

The Enneagram your personal guide to the hidden treasures. The Enneagram isn't just another personality test. It's a gateway to discover the mysteries of your true self. The Enneagram describes nine personality types, each with distinct motivations, fears and way of interacting with the world. By identifying your Enneagram type, you gain valuable insights think hidden secrets into your deepest desires and fears, providing a roadmap to your own personal growth. It's like embarking on an adventure where each discovery offers a new insight that brings joy, understanding and deeper connection to those around you.

Speaker 1:

One word of caution we don't love labels. There are many personality types type of programs out there that, if you latch onto them, will make you feel like that's just who you are and you aren't going to change. We're uh, we're firm believers that personality is not permanent. Personality is usually created unconsciously Though our environments and our past experiences, in other words sorry, you guys, I'm not the best at reading all this because I haven't read this yet In other words, you can, and you should, change your personality and make it as big or as expansive as you would like to. This is really important to understand that most people, when they take the Enneagram, learn a ton about themselves, but also, if they take the Enneagram later, can actually see changes, and some of that can be caused by stress or other things we won't get into. But, good or bad, you can affect certain things. However, the Enneagram is a little bit different because it is based on an inherent personality trait that are deeper rooted in one's psyche. This tends to remain consciously throughout life.

Speaker 1:

As you grow and you learn more about yourself, including through studying the Enneagram, you may start to adopting behaviors from other types, especially those found in your path or integrations, growth and disintegration, disintegration, stress. This does not mean your core type has changed, but that you are evolving and incorporating and brought a range of behavior and attitudes into your life. So, like I was just saying, you can change, you can expand. I call it you have your core coding, your core structure. I call it you have your core coding, your core structure and then, as you architect, or you have fragments in your, in your coding, you can fix those and or have expansion packs that you can actually start to put into who you are, which expand you just like an expansion pack would in coding. All right, our journey of discovery how am I doing so far? Am I doing? Okay, you're doing amazing. Keep it up. Keep it up, you guys, but we want to get this out to you.

Speaker 1:

So when we explore Enneagram types, the insights we gain were nothing short of revolutionary. Understanding that, bart me, assertive narrative and a type eight and sunny inner perspective and creative depths as a type five with a four wing could be harnessed. Sync, synchronicity transformed the way we communicate and connect. It was as if, as if we had cracked a code that suddenly made everything click into place, which was amazing because, wow, understanding somebody right, it's like seeing their code for the very first time right in front of you that you can be like. No wonder, my code either matches or doesn't match, or this or that. It's kind of fun, okay, we gained a lot more understanding into how we both tackle the world and what we need to be successful, both separately and together.

Speaker 1:

Just a few examples where we can clash without realizing why Conflict In conflict. Sunny is like to retreat or withhold, to process emotion thoughts, which contrasts sharply with Bart's confrontational and direct approach. This can create a dynamic where Bart feels like he is always the initiator of resolution, while Son sunny may feel pressured or rushed into emotional engagement she is not ready for and we found this a lot, and so I'm glad that it's that's here, because reality is is like me, I don't mind conflict, I don't look at it as conflict, I look at it as like let's just get this over with. This is fine, this is just a conversation, you know. And yet I've had to really learn that it's okay to just let her be, let her process, and then all of a sudden, the best way for her a lot of times is just to write something back to me and I can read it and be like, oh, we really were on the same page and I didn't even realize it, you know. So in our relationship sometimes she has to just give me a timeout and say, just give me a few hours or give me a day, and I'll be like, okay, cool, and then she can go process, do her things and then we can go back either to a conversation or she can write me something and we're just like. You know, we're on the same page. Let's move on. But the one thing I will caution you is is that we always know, as we talk to each other, that we are on the same team, and that's the thing that we ask each other is are we on the same team? Cause if we are, we're trying to win, and you know, like any team that has a conflict, if you're going in the same direction, you're trying to win and you know that it's like easy, in my opinion, to overcome conflict, because it's really not conflict. What you're really trying to do is move forward, which is really cool, but if you're not on the same team, that can be a problem. So just just make sure you're on the same team or not on the same team when you're doing this.

Speaker 1:

Okay, previous privacy versus engagement. Sunny's, a type five core, enhanced by the introspective four wing, cherishes privacy substantially alone time, which is vital, not just nice, but vital for her energy recharge and mental health. Bart, as a type eight, might prefer more engagement with the world and more direct interaction with Sonny, potentially leading to pressure on Sonny's need for solitude. On the flip side, when we leverage our strengths together, we bring a dynamic mix of depth and action, innovation and boldness, as well as emotional depth and resilience to the table. So one of the things I had to really learn is Sonny liked to just go and go for walks and just be gone. For me that was like, hey, you don't want me, you're going to do something else, I'm not a value to you. When reality was, it had nothing to do with me. And when I realized this and how excited and how energetic she would come back from her walks or whatever adventure she wanted to do, it was like what an idiot I have been for trying to have her in my coding. When she's got her own coding and she comes back as this just like energetic human that I desired. You know that's what I was after anyways. You know that's what I was after anyways. And so I had to really learn that and just want that for her, like more than anything to where I'm kicking her out the door to make sure she goes on her walks, goes, does her things, because then I have a better significant other with me that shows up with me in the way that I like, but for my personality that could be very tough. So it's great to know that about each other. Let's get real about our power as a couple. We both have an incredible potential, not just individual, but as a team.

Speaker 1:

The Enneagram is more than just a tool of self-discovery. It's a way to unlock how you both can support, strengthen and empower each other in a way you might not even have considered yet. This isn't about taking a quiz for fun. It's about taking serious steps towards understanding and leveraging each other's strengths. So think about this, as I'm just going to say having another set of code that you get to interlock with, and if you both know it, you can use it to your advantage in your strengths and in your weaknesses. Thinking of it as a roadmap that shows how you can align more closely, tackle challenges together and build life. That's as rewarding as it is deep. So why not give it a shot? Discover what makes each other tick and use the knowledge to build an unstoppable team. Check out the Intergram test here, which you can click on, and start building a strong foundation together today. Pro tip once you know both of your Intergram types, go to ChatGPT and ask where conflict may arise, how to grow together, how to work together and how to support each other. Here's to turning your already strong duo into an absolute powerhouse.

Speaker 1:

So I love this so much because Sonny mentioned three tests in here. All of them have different insights in different areas of energy. So I want you to realize that what we're talking about here is giving you a personal roadmap to yourself, to your significant other, to your children, children. And I will say, as my son took this Instagram, I had a real aha moment, because when he works for us in our business and I didn't realize when his highest performance was, his highest performance was from 12 pm to about three o'clock in the morning and that's when he loved to perform. That's when he did his best work. But me, I was like dude, we started eight o'clock, we ended at five o'clock, like what the heck? That's the way it works in this world, but it doesn't work that way in his world. And so when I realized that, it was like wow, you mean I can get better performance and have a better relationship with my son by by understanding him and when he works the best. So this gives you great in-depth insights in employees in your home in every aspect, and it also gives you a way to understand you and your nature and how sometimes you might be forcing your nature on everybody around you and not understanding why they don't get it. So I love that and I'm grateful that Sonny took time to put this in here.

Speaker 1:

So life updates, just really quickly. We went to St George on Thursday because Xander has spring break and he was off on Friday. As we got down there, uh, we were able to stay at a really cool place and we kind of got settled and just had some fun the night. We got there with some friends. We went and played pickleball, got ready for the tournament, knew it was going to be windy, started practicing in the wind and then got up the next day, actually went to the tournament and I didn't start till later in the day. So we did some practicing, we watched a bunch of our friends play pickleball and then the tournament started and the wind got stronger than ever. But big shout out to Matt Frew. We didn't do well our first match because of lots of variables with wind and all sorts of things, but we came back, fought like champions, had a great time and just absolutely had a blast and I can finally say I have won some official PPA matches, which was awesome, so had great support from Xander, sonny, a bunch of friends. Could not have been fun or opportunity. I was so grateful.

Speaker 1:

Then the next day we came back we played. We didn't play, we did actually hit a little bit, but we watched all the pros and watch them play. And how fun was that? Xander got a pickleball that he wanted a lot of the pros to sign. So we went around we found pros got that signed. Big shout out to the pickleball pros for being so kind, so gracious, so amazing, with everybody around them, just so cool to the fans. So so grateful for that. We watched Pickleball that day, enjoyed that.

Speaker 1:

And then the next day we met up with one of my friends, jeremy Johnson. We went and had some lunch with him and then we just had an amazing conversation which was very insightful. We'll share with you guys someday. And then we ended up moving locations to one of his locations that he had as an Airbnb and what was really cool about this location was it was just it had hammocks, it had all sorts of environmental things, it actually had a sweat lodge there, all sorts of stuff, so it was just a really cool environment to experience. While we were in downtown St George, sonny and I did Hoppe, actually in the sweat lodge, which was a cool experience, and then we got to just be able to chill there, ride a little moped around. Xander had a blast doing that, and then Jeremy asked Xander if he'd like to actually take his first helicopter lesson and fly a helicopter. So Xander said yes to that, which I'm super, super glad he did, and so we also got to go experience and meet with one of our good friends, daryl Eves. Learn a ton about YouTube what's going on with it? What's happening? Han, about YouTube what's going on with it? What's happening? Him and his wife were so gracious to have us over to their house and just enjoyed some time with them and then we went on a helicopter ride the next day and then I think we got out of there. I think that's On a few private courts.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yes, we also played on a few private courts. We had a friend of ours, caitlin and Guy, that invited us to their house, which had a private court. We had a friend of ours, caitlin and Guy, that invited us to their house, which had a private court. We got to play some fun, really fun games. They're such a great couple. And then we got to play on another private court and we got to play with a private investigator and she's done some really cool things.

Speaker 1:

Pam's Private Eye is that what it is? Pamela Private Eye if you want to go find her podcast, if not, we'll put it somewhere. But like it was really cool to actually play pickleball with her she's a lefty, which was a lot of fun and then just learn more about her and her life. And then I think, and then, um, I think that's pretty much the main things that we did long driving, lots of listening, uh, books and stuff like that on the way, but overall travel was good. Um, oh, and we saw my daughter on the way down, which is really cool, and my son-in-law. They're getting ready to go to Japan, I think next week or this coming week, which is awesome. So we've got to learn about all what they're going to be doing in Japan. So those are kind of the life updates for us.

Speaker 1:

We've got a couple of things that are happening. We've got our event coming up Idoepiclivecom. If you have interest, if you don't, you should. It's going to be absolutely off the charts. I can't explain how revolutionary. You know, when you try to sell yourself, it sucks. But I just encourage you, if you have any questions or if you're even thinking about it, reach out to anybody that's been to one of our events and see what it's like. Also in our iDoEpic accountability networking groups. If you've never tried that, reach out to somebody that's been in it and just ask them what the value, how much they've made in the network and all the things, and just come be a part, give it a go, um, and then obviously, we're writing our books. Still, we're on that and, uh, that's about it. I think that's basically the life updates.

Speaker 1:

Right now we're in an amazing theater in a hanger, um, and we're going to watch a movie called avatar, because I've been dying to see it in a really coolar. Um, and we're going to watch a movie called avatar because I've been dying to see it in a really cool theater. Um, this theater has about, uh, I think it's about $300,000 and just sound equipment in it, so I'm super stoked to watch that movie here in this theater. So that's why we're here right now. This is going out a little late, but you guys, we can't thank you enough. Thank you for listening to me read through this. Please go, take your Enneagram. Please let us know if we can help you in any way, shape or form. We are starting a couples coaching program and an individual program on personal growth around different ways of tackling this and changing your life. So with that we'll sign out with this being sponsored by I Do Epic.

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Bart Miller

Host
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Sunny Miller

Host