We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

FHL "Secrets" and What Success Really Requires

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 44

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Welcome to this week's episode of We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny!

FHL International is in full swing this week, and as we listen to each presentation we are reminded of event architecture and how to make events a purpose-driven payday. Presentation after presentation goes something like this: I had a big dream or goal, I was broke, I tried and failed, then I did this, and now I am in the two comma club. And you can do it, too!"

That is simplifying it, of course, but if a presenter does his or her job you will walk away feeling like whatever they are teaching is something anyone can do.

However, the big elephant in the room that most people avoid is that tactics and strategies will only get you so far. Tools and tech will only get you so far. Seeing what someone else can accomplish (though very important, let’s be clear)… you guessed it! It can only get you so far.

In this episode we are going to discuss the "secrets of success" (if there is such a thing) and shine a light on what success really requires.  


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Bart:

Welcome to we Play Full Out. I'm Bart and this is Sunny. Take it away, Sunny.

Sunny:

Thank you, bart. Today, or this evening, I should say, we are looking out the window at the Las Vegas Strip.

Bart:

We're looking out at the Las Vegas skyline right off the strip with the Aria. Let's go.

Sunny:

That's right. So we're coming at. You live from Las Vegas. We have been here at FHL International at Worry Studios Really cool studio. You can kind of picture big, big, big LED screens is that what they're called? Yeah, that kind of go semicircular big old curve and then thousands of people zooming in so you can see all their faces and the chat going on while speakers are presenting. Yeah, it's kind of cool, it's really cool and kind of fun to read the chat not going to lie during the speakers.

Bart:

Great stuff, especially when your name's up there good or bad, yeah, good or bad, but anyway.

Sunny:

So fhl international has been in full swing this week and as we listen to each presentation it reminds us of event architecture and how to make events a purpose-driven payday Like that is kind of the goal usually of any big event that you attend purpose-driven payday. So presentation after presentation generally goes something like this I had a big dream or goal, I was broke, I tried and failed. Then I did this and now I am in the two comma club and you can do it too. Would you agree with that?

Bart:

Pretty much it. Every one of them Run the program, run the model.

Sunny:

Yeah, and you know that's simplifying it a little bit, but that's basically the. That's the gist of it, the plot right, and if a presenter does his or her job, you will walk away feeling like whatever they are teaching is something anyone can do. You can do it too, and it is the best thing to do.

Sunny:

There is no other option yes, but we think there's a big elephant in the room that most people avoid, and it's that tactics and strategies will only get you so far. Tools and tech will only get you so far Seeing what someone else can accomplish, though it's very important to see what's possible for you. Let's be clear.

Bart:

Until you see the four minute mile.

Sunny:

A lot of people couldn't break it Exactly, but it can still only get you so far. So when Brendan Burchard came out and he does a fantastic job of getting the energy up in the room, but I felt like he did a great job in his presentation on calling out the anesthetizing lifestyles we're all becoming accustomed to, out the anesthetizing lifestyles we're all becoming accustomed to. It's not like probably a new thought, but companies and influencers are being paid big bucks to steal moments of our lives away from us and we are the ones happily paying them to do it.

Bart:

Yep Taking our time.

Sunny:

They are taking our time. He said something to the effect and I might get some of his math a little different but that every adult spends at least two hours a day, maybe up to four hours a day Some of those crazy numbers like that yeah, just scrolling on social media with no direction or reason for doing it. And he actually said that it increases the stress response in our bodies as we start to compare ourselves and our lifestyles and somebody else's and all the things that come with that. But so let's say it was two hours a day, 30 days a week, 60 hours a month that we're spending doing a time-consuming activity that actually doesn't just benefit us, it actually takes us in the opposite direction, and time matters. And time matters more than you may even think. It doesn't just benefit us, it actually takes us in the opposite direction and time matters. And time matters more than you may even think. And here is why Time matters, because it's actually a mirror of you.

Sunny:

In our presentation that we gave, we dive deep into the fact that we are goal driven people. Um, I know I feel like a lot of times, people here set another goal, set another goal and it's like no, I don't want to set another goal. We hype up new year's resolutions and I think I see more and more like people aren't even setting them because they just know they're not going to reach them. Yep, and I mean statistics are right, like I want to say, 80% or higher abandoned their goals two weeks into the new year, which is crazy. And then I know I've read books before that said just focus on the process and the result will follow.

Bart:

Yeah, yeah.

Sunny:

But here's the truth A goal is just something you do that moves you to a desired outcome. That means every single thing you do in your day is because you are goal driven, meaning that you want an outcome. So you eat food because you want an outcome to no longer be hungry. You want to take a nap because you want an outcome, Yep. So you eat food because you want an outcome To no longer be hungry. You want to take a nap because you want an outcome To no longer be tired or to get recharged. You go to the gym because you want an outcome.

Sunny:

You put time in at work because you want an outcome. You binge Netflix or social media because you want an outcome, which that could simply be dopamine hit numb yourself, be entertained. We all do things because we want an outcome. But here's the thing Time matters because how you spend your time is a direct reflection of your goals. So the question then becomes are you spending time getting outcomes that you don't really value? Because if you are, you are not in the driver's seat of your life. You're not proactively architecting your life, which is what Barton and I are quite passionate about.

Bart:

You're allowing your story to be written for you instead of by you. Yep, exactly right. And I think the one thing I'll just add to this is that most goals the reason people fail at their goals is because they're a wish. They're not a goal. They just call it a goal, but really it's like I'm wishing upon the stars this will happen, but it's truly not a goal.

Bart:

Because in my mind, a goal is something that you're determined to accomplish, so much so you're willing to sign a contract or do whatever it takes to absolutely make that happen. Like I don't sign up for a bodybuilding competition just to sign up for one. I sign up for one because I want to win it and I want the results of what doing all the work is going to do to get me there. So, instead of just saying the goal, I set the bodybuilding show because that accomplishes everything for me and I will have to find the recipe. I will have to dig. I will have to do those things because I buy the flights, I buy the flights, I buy the hotel. I buy all those things to where it's a legitimate goal, with the outcome already set. It's not a wish, and I think people have got those two terms mixed up.

Sunny:

Um, I actually really like that. I have some thoughts on that now that you're saying that. Um which the next thing I was going to bring up is that the secret of success if there is such a thing I don't know that it's such a secret actually is simple Choose your purpose, set a big old goal that excites the crap out of you, and then your day-to-day activities are naturally going to align as you filter. Is this going to get me towards my goal or away from it? But what came to my mind is if it's really more of a wish, like you said, then it's not a big goal that excites you. If it was truly a big goal that excited you, that you really wanted to accomplish, I feel like you would do it. But if it's more like it'd be nice to have that or do you see where I'm going with that it's like not really sinking into your heart. It's not something that you really really want.

Bart:

No, Well, I don't say no, I mean, I just really see that. You know, when I see people that don't hit their goals, even ones like last night, I listened to a story and this gentleman had bought a watch. But he went there window shopping, saw a watch that was a fifty thousand dollar watch. He said I can't have it until he had two hundred thousand. Well, he put it on a where he put ten thousand dollars down on it and then he was going to be back in three months to pay for the rest of it. But he couldn't. Even though he had the money, he couldn't have the watch until he hit $200,000 a month for him to have the watch right. So he set the three months to do that, but he didn't hit it. In the three months he still went and got the watch, but he put it in front of him and couldn't wear the watch because he hadn't earned the watch until he hit his $200,000 a month, which took him two more months to do. But he hit it. That to me, is a goal. That was determination. Even though he didn't accomplish it on the timeline he'd set for himself, he went and accomplished the goal.

Bart:

I know this woman. She signed up. She was going to be in a bodybuilding show. She got to the date and then it was like oh, not ready, you're not going to be able to accomplish what you want to. So she said to herself that's okay, I'm not giving up on the goal because it means this much to me. Therefore, I'm okay with resetting the date. And she hit her goal.

Sunny:

She must be amazing.

Bart:

She was unbelievable. So my point is is that when you set a goal with set timeframes, time limits, structure to them, then they're a goal in my opinion. Everything else, if you're just saying I'm going to go to the gym every year, I'm going to go to the gym for a full entire year, that's what I want to do that's a wish, Because you will not find the determination when things get hard, and even if it excites the crap out of you, like riding the lead bill 100, there's a lot of work.

Sunny:

Oh, definitely. Well, I feel like that's why it has to excite you.

Bart:

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Sunny:

Because, in order to be willing to put the work in if you're not excited about actually, reaching it when the real pain hits, and it will.

Bart:

If it's just a wish, you won't you'll quit.

Sunny:

Yeah, and I think that was a phrase that actually brendan brought up was to stop stopping. Yep, stop stopping, all right. Any other thoughts around that?

Bart:

no, I think that's it just. Uh, you know if you under. I think the biggest thing that I keep reminding people of is if they understand their why, then they set their goals according to what they're trying to get, but they anchor back to their why and they have the goal. They're unstoppable.

Sunny:

Exactly, and I think I use the word purpose instead of why. But same thing, yep. Exactly, and I think I use the word purpose instead of why, but same thing, yep. Have a purpose or a why. Set your goal and then you get to work.

Bart:

That's right, and you can't blame anybody else. You know everybody likes to point fingers at everything else, but you got to look at yourself.

Sunny:

Yeah, and just another thought came to my mind is like I think Trey L lewellen said he's built over a thousand funnels. Russell built well over 150 and let's be clear, this is back in the time when there was no click funnels, I'm sure. So it was a lot harder than to build funnels before he really had a big win.

Bart:

Yeah, and traded all his on click funnels yeah, yeah traded. But I'm just saying, like we all seem to think, that Well, we get told one funnel away and for some reason our mind says yeah we're just one funnel away, not 200.

Sunny:

Funnels away, not 500 funnels away.

Bart:

It's like, okay, I might have to build five or six, but we convince ourselves. You know our brain is really good at that. You know, because the way it sounds to us convince ourselves. You know our brain is really good at that. You know, cause the way it sounds to us it's anyway, the Leadville 100 sounds pretty easy.

Sunny:

Does it, though I don't think it sounds easy. Okay, so secret of success why Set your goal, get to work and that's really it.

Bart:

Yeah, but if you have no, if you have no destination where you're going, you'll just wander wild and make wishes after wishes and you'll just keep wishing.

Sunny:

And actually I had one more thought on that, because you brought up the. You know I'm just going to go to the gym every day for a year, but I want the outcome of looking great. Um, like you said, that's more wishful, because I've seen people go to the gym every day for a year and they look exactly the same as when they started. Because there's just no like, no, I'm going to be you know I'm going to gain X amount of muscle.

Bart:

I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that.

Sunny:

I'm going to have abs, I'm going to do this, all these things, yeah, so be very specific in what you want to.

Bart:

I mean, anybody can just go to the gym. Yeah, walk in bullshit and walk back out. Or spend five minutes on the treadmill. Go walk around, look at all the hotties and leave.

Sunny:

All right, there you go. Okay, we're just going to talk about life for a second now. So I'd say we've had quite a week, an absolute blast watching the pro pickleballers play at the PPA Tour tournament. And I just want to shout out to Bart here what an amazing networker he is. He just commands a room as soon as he walks in. So fun, fun story about sitting courtside. Riley Newman came out to play and he was having a rough time and uh, I'm sitting next to bart and all of a sudden he just starts encouraging him I just, uh, I could see more in what his athletic.

Bart:

I've obviously watched him play a lot right. It wasn't like this is the first game I've ever seen him in and I know in watching athletes and watching people that they're sometimes they just don't know inside of themselves how to dig deeper or mentally anchor or lock the things in to themselves in the heat of the battle or lock the things in to themselves in the heat of the battle. And so when I saw him just not having anybody in his corner, doing that, it's like going to a boxing match without a coach. It's like when crap's down it's just hard because you're in the match but somebody on the outside can see things and look at things from a different angle. And I just believed in him. I knew what Riley still do.

Sunny:

I know what he's got to bring out to be the champion he deserves to be yeah and so, and so I mean I wish I could portray how magical it is to watch Bart work. But you have a whole crowd full of people and yet Bart's sitting or directly behind him, and I start hearing things like I believe in you, you've got this, don't let him do that to you. And just like encouraging him, and there's no joke, riley goes and sits down, uh, during breaks or whatever, and is looking over at Bart for his approval. I don't know. Yeah, that's not normal.

Bart:

Yeah, let's just not say it's approval, but it's like, like, and I appreciate that term.

Sunny:

Well, it's the wrong word, but it's more like yeah, it's more like oh my gosh, thank you.

Bart:

And this is like I recognize you yeah. We both recognize each other. Yeah, that's. That's what I'm going to say as an athlete. He was like dang, there's something here that I'm needing right now and I'm going to lean into it Instead of so annoying. There's somebody in the crowd that thinks it was like hey, we got each other, let's go.

Sunny:

Yeah, and he did come up and thank Bart and told him he was the reason he was able to dig deep and pull that match out. Yeah, absolutely.

Sunny:

Such an amazing athlete, such a privilege to meet him and, uh, such a great match to watch yeah, and I would also just say that bart does this with everybody in his life, so if you're part of any of our groups, you will know bart has your back. Very cool. Um then, 21 pilots did not disappoint super, super fun. Um, it was the same concert, obviously, as like two weeks ago, but it was a different experience because, instead of, like me, being obsessed taking photos and videos and getting all the things, just got to kind of watch the whole concert more closely, watch the graphics, watch all the fire going off and everything that was happening. So it was just kind of fun to be there a second time for me.

Bart:

I think it's like reading a book First time through you get certain things. The second time through you get something else. And I think you go again and get something else. When you love something and you're digging into something, it's just a lot of fun. It doesn't get old, you know. And people are like if you're not into it it's old right, but when you're into it it's like man, you can have a blast every time.

Sunny:

Yeah, then our magnetic crew arrived on the second and we shopped like crazy and actually we did a little training first in a hidden secret room inside maseo for almost a full day, and then we shopped until 9 pm and I would say, yes, it's about style, but it's so much more than that, and we really had the opportunity to experience a lot of very insightful moments about stepping into your authentic power that were very impactful for I agree and I think you know.

Bart:

Big shout out to Brooke, anita B. And who am I missing? I'll pop my head here. We had Greg and Brian and John, John and Rachel, john and Rachel, and it was just awesome to see. We did our training with Rachel. Anita, adina Sorry, adina.

Sunny:

We have an Adina and an Alina, so they get.

Bart:

My words are all messed up here. Sorry you guys, but anyway everybody there. And then we at the the end come together and shop and it was just so fun to watch the couples and significant others support each other, be there for each other and have so freaking much fun yeah, and a lot, a lot of really cool transformations too.

Sunny:

I would say a lot of different mindsets about style and about really cool things. Okay then russell brunson arrived on the third and we spent a good portion of the day shopping about style and about really cool things. Okay then Russell Brunson arrived on the 3rd and we spent a good portion of the day shopping with him, and I would say that you pulled out a lot of wins, even though you did not have a lot of time together because it was pretty hurried. Russell does look amazing and it's fun watching him step onto the stage with a lot of confidence and do his thing. It's magical.

Bart:

He's such a great student and it's fun watching him step onto the stage with a lot of confidence and do his thing. It's magical. You know he's such a great student and it's a lot of fun to spend time with him and watch his mastery and watch my mastery and how they can work together to just do the things that we both love to do. So it's really cool. Yeah, it's really cool.

Sunny:

Okay, so we attended FHL today and then most of the day tomorrow. Are there any thoughts you want to share about your takeaways today?

Bart:

Um, I would just say the biggest takeaway is is that stories they don't have to be yours, remember, you can go find other things, but stories are what sell everything right and authenticity of yourself and what you believe in them. Today there was a speaker that was a professional trainer on how to use body language while speaking and it was very, very powerful to watch how he enunciated words, how he the certain ways that he would laugh before he said something that made somebody go oh my gosh, this is going to be good, this is going to be energetic. You know, it was really magical to watch all the cues and for me, as a style standpoint, to be able to stand back and go. What he's doing with that I'm doing with style and with color and with you know all these things, and it was just like wow, how cool. And then you take the two things and you put them together and it's like dang, that's crazy. And you know, he made me really think about the way you hold your lips and things like that. They all make a difference, believe it or not.

Bart:

But, like, let's just say, you know, he showed like four or five speakers and how they'll actually come out on a, on a stage, but as they're speaking they start to back up, which what does that tell the audience? And you know all these things. But in real life, people do all these things and how they hold their hands and all this stuff, and they just don't realize that the message that they're given with their body language isn't congruent with what they're trying to say, even though they think it's aligned. And it was really fascinating to watch that. But then I got thinking down to makeup and lipstick the things that we highlight. For people to actually overemphasize is like for a woman, yet it catches that attention that could actually be against them. It was really weird and the same thing with clothing.

Bart:

You know it does the same type of thing and it's amazing what we, we study all this stuff and let's be clear, you can't like there's no way to. I'm black as earth, but there's like, ah, so many things. Right, it can be overwhelming. That's not what I'm saying, but that's why it's so cool to see that in person. See what I'm in person, see all these things that just make a difference in life all come together.

Sunny:

Love it. Thank you for sharing.

Bart:

Yeah, it was pretty fun All right, that's a wrap.

Bart:

Well, thanks you guys for listening. One thing in life and in business and everything else, the way that you learn is by throwing yourself into total immersion and by playing full out. And Sonny, even here in Vegas and I are playing full out as a couple, and we're playing full out in business. We're playing full out in so many ways and I just want you to know as you're on your journey, as you do things, the way you learn is by sometimes jumping in the pool, even when you don't know how to swim, and just know that you're gonna be able to do it and do whatever it takes to get yourself where you want to get.

Bart:

So big thing is find the right coaches for the right things you want to do Accelerates your progress. If you don't have somebody in your corner cheering you on, you need it because things can get challenging. Set big goals, go backwards, understand them, but sign up for the show. Sign up, know you're going to be there, know you're going to do it and be relentless in making that happen. And so that's the big things for me today. Sonny, thank you for putting all the time, energy and effort in this. Thank you to all of our magnetic crew. We appreciate you, we love you. We're so grateful for your support and get to watch your change and evolution as you created your new magnetic self, and we can't wait for you to take those to the world and change the world, one person at a time. And so, with that, this segment is brought to you by. I Do Epic.

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Bart Miller

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Sunny Miller

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