We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

The Game of Architecting Your Personality

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 40

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Welcome to this week's episode of We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny!

Playing Full Out in life means to show up fully (even when it's hard), be present with yourself and others, be willing and able to challenge your core belief structures, live authentically, and perform at your highest level at all times (recognizing that some days are simply higher levels than others).

Today we discuss the Game of Architecting Your Personality

Sometimes in life we get stuck.

We have a vision of something we want to do, to accomplish, to experience... but it feels like a dream or a goal that is so big we don't actually believe we can ever get there. It's more like a fairytale or fantasy, and that's how it stays until we give up on the hope of it.

It's not so much that we couldn't do it, but if we were to look deep into our thoughts and feelings we would most likely discover that we just aren't BOLD enough to go for it.

Fear of failure, imposter syndrome, cultural narratives, limiting belief systems, not to mention all the programming and labels we have allowed to stick onto ourselves makes us believe we are not enough. Not smart enough, not good looking enough, not worthy enough... the list goes on and on.

Think about it: if you had all the self-confidence in the world, what would you do? What could you accomplish? Who would you be?

What if we told you there is a proven psychological bridge that can take you from where you are right now to where you want to be... without years of therapy, constantly repeating positive affirmations, or going up and down the dreaded roller coaster of pumping yourself up only to let yourself down? What if there was a way you could instantly set aside ALL the fear, anger, pain, disappointment, passivity, or shyness inside you and show up at your highest potential anytime you wanted to? Like flipping a light switch on or off?


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

You know it is just an epic day and one of the favorite parts of my week is I get to sit down and have a conversation with one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Speaker 1:

Wow, how fun Me too.

Speaker 2:

I get to sit and discuss things that we're thinking about or talking about or that are important to us and, in turn, hopefully adding some value to those who are listening today.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's really cool and hopefully it can, but if it doesn't, hopefully this enjoy the segment and get a listen to us have our once a week conversation.

Speaker 2:

One of our many, I would say, but this is a big one.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's an intentional sit down and have a conversation. So today we've got a really fun topic. Today we're talking about the game of architecting who you want to be.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes in life we get stuck. We have a vision of something we want to do or to accomplish or to experience, but it feels like a dream or a goal that is so big that we actually don't believe we can ever get there. Now you just kind of daydream about all the things you could be or you could do. You could be a speaker on a stage, or you could be a singer, you could be a billionaire or you could, you know. The list kind of goes on and on and it kind of feels more like a fairy tale or a fantasy Once again, because we don't really think that we could get there. And it just kind of stays that way until we give up on it or give up on the hope of having it or doing it, and I don't think it's so much that we couldn't do it, but if we were like deep into our thoughts and feelings, we would probably discover we're just not bold enough to go for it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, we're not willing to just go out there and say here I am because of fear.

Speaker 2:

Yep, and that is it. Fear of failure, imposter syndrome, cultural narratives, limiting belief systems, not to mention all the programming and labels we have allowed to stick onto ourselves, makes us believe the one thing that I think underlies a lot of human behavior, which is that we're not enough.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

Not smart enough, not good looking enough, not worthy enough. The list can go on and on, and on and on.

Speaker 1:

It's a pretty big one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So if you were to think about it, if you had all the self-confidence in the world, with no fear of failure, what would you do?

Speaker 1:

And I think the fear of failure right is equated to money right that you'd have the money that you're looking for. What would you do?

Speaker 2:

You think it's?

Speaker 1:

just money? I think no, no, no, it's not just money, but I do believe it's a big factor in the back of people's mind is no one will pay me for that, or you know I'd never make it. So what? What if you know so many things go into the financial aspect, cause that's the way we've been programmed. Money, I mean, come on, think about it. You go to school to become a doctor, a lawyer, so you can make what a lot of freaking money. You never go to school, not never. But most people don't go to school just to say, oh, I don't care if I'm a janitor and make X, y, z, it's always tied back to some sort of most of the time. How can I make the most amount of money with the time spent?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I could see how that could go there actually. Or status, because I was just thinking of the high school reunion that I just attended and it's almost it's like who are you, what have you accomplished, what are you doing with your life, and it's like the status wins right.

Speaker 1:

Well, we think it wins. Conversation that I listened to actually today and this guy was talking about being vulnerable and transparent and how that is the ultimate like status, right. So he was sitting there and they were around the table and they were talking and there was different ladies that were there around them, all talking and this, that and the other, and they were all trying to quote unquote have status or be the be the cool guy, right, and so you know these and the other, and they were all trying to quote unquote have status or be the be the cool guy, right, and so you know these women and men were talking about what they did and these guys were bragging about their cars and this and that and the other. And this lady leans over to this guy and says where do you live? What do you do? And he goes I live out of a suitcase and I do whatever I want.

Speaker 1:

Goes, I live out of a suitcase and I do whatever I want. Well, what do you have? Basically, the clothes on my back, that's it. And she's like what? And she leans to the next lady and says did you hear what he just said? No, he lives out of a suitcase and he's doing just this. He lives out of a suitcase and he's doing just this and she goes what is that like? And he goes it's amazing, it's so freeing. But it's not like the rest of you, but to me it's life and guess who became the most popular guy at the table.

Speaker 1:

Interesting Because he was just vulnerable and transparent. It wasn't about who's the biggest, who's the best all the things they all wanted to know and experience. That because it's like it was so unique to them that somebody could be so transparent. Now he could have easily made it up that wouldn't have known any different.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Food for thought.

Speaker 2:

That is food for thought, thank you, trying to think where I was at now. Oh, that's really good. Yes, so I guess being authentic and vulnerable could trump status.

Speaker 1:

Well, it is status.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Really, it's life. That's where you're at, that's what we're so afraid of.

Speaker 2:

Well, and another thing that I've really been thinking a lot on is the underlying theme of we all want freedom in our life. So sometimes, you know, we chase the financial freedom and the time freedom and all the things where this gentleman that you're talking about seem to have it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, the thing that's interesting about chasing time, freedom and all the freedoms that we want to chase is sometimes we get so busy chasing it we have none of it and we end up with none of it because all we were doing was chasing it instead of living in the moment, exactly.

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

Okay okay.

Speaker 2:

so if you had all the self-confidence in the world, what would you do? What could you accomplish and who would you be? And that could be just like this young man or however old he was. I have enough self-confidence, boldness, all the things to live, the life that I choose to live, which is kind of actually where we're going with this.

Speaker 2:

So one of our favorite stories and there are actually a lot of these is about Adele, and I'm sure we've mentioned this before, but Adele had imposter syndrome so badly she is terrified to step onto a stage in front of a live audience. She has a deep, unnerving feeling inside of her that if people hear her live, they won't think she is as good as her studio recordings and will be disappointed that they spent the time and the money to come and see her. And her imposter syndrome has been so bad. She used a fire exit to escape from a live show in Amsterdam because she was so nervous. She's thrown up multiple times and has even projectile vomited onto at least one audience member in Brussels. That'd be a story to tell, oh boy.

Speaker 2:

So how did she find enough self-confidence and boldness to keep going and to become the international star she is today, and it's the same way we can, and it's the same way we can, and it's the same way you can. There's a proven psychological bridge that can take you from where you are right now to where you want to be, without years of therapy, constantly repeating positive affirmations or going up. I like to call it the roller coaster. It was like I get myself so pumped up and then I do the thing and I don't do it like I wanted to, and then I let myself down or I don't, cause I just not able to show up fully the way I wanted to. You know, um, but what if there was a way you could instantly set aside all the fear, anger, pain, disappointment, passivity, perfectionism or shyness inside you and show up at your highest potential anytime you wanted to? I like to think of it like flipping the light switch on or off. That would be cool.

Speaker 1:

Yep, it is cool.

Speaker 2:

And that's where we go with the truth that personalities are not permanent. Amen. So I like to think of it this way Our personalities were created by us, but I think they were created unintentionally most of the time.

Speaker 1:

Amen.

Speaker 2:

Our environment, our parents, our teachers and our past life experiences. I mean like this life, I'm not. We're not going into the past life, but we're going into actual this life. Our past experiences have created our belief systems, and our belief systems create our thoughts and feelings, which become our personal reality or our personality. Taking it even further, our belief systems are what set our goals in life. So, at that point, if you have limiting beliefs or a belief structure that doesn't support what you want to do or become or have, you're not going to achieve it. For some reason, though, we think our personalities are unchangeable or that they should be Just like well, I just am who, I am right. But the truth is we're the ones who get to decide that we often just don't, yeah, which is like nope, that's who I am. Take it or leave it Right, Yep. But what if we intentionally created our personality instead of letting it create itself? Yep.

Speaker 1:

And that's cool because there's so many like I. Was trying to think of all the athletes, but the one that just came out in my head is what if somebody would have told Larry Bird he could never be a professional basketball player because the way he shoots the ball and he believed it, and he believed it from a young age Would he have stopped and never been what he is and who he was? A legend. And there's a lot of athletes that way. You look at them. They're unorthodox in what they do, but yet they are the best in the world at what they do, because they never accepted no for an answer, right.

Speaker 1:

And then you even take it a step further than that and I know this is on the other end of it. But you take a guy like Tiger Woods. The change just swing four times when it was the best in the world, just because he wanted to know what that was like and be at that capability of pushing himself at that highest level. So it shows up in all sorts of things that we can do it and it's been proven that it can be done. But the question is is do you want to do it?

Speaker 2:

That is the question that will determine if you do or don't.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because if you don't think it comes with some pain and some disappointment and some all sorts of things.

Speaker 2:

Discomforts for sure.

Speaker 1:

Discomfort and when you're fighting a belief, even if it's not what you would have like, you did anchor it to yourself. So therefore, it did become your belief, and to be able to change that man can be difficult. Can be.

Speaker 2:

Unless you use the magic pill we're going to talk about. That's right, all right. Neil Strauss is a bestselling author who goes deep into whatever topic he's going to write about, so deep that he lives the experience fully before he writes his books.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's pretty amazing.

Speaker 2:

So he wrote a book called the Game Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, and Neil had heard about these nerdy men who had never been able to get a date suddenly become major players in the game of picking women up. He heard there were methods and processes to learning how to become a pickup artist, taught by a man who called himself Mystery, and he decided he was going to explore this topic and write about it. And I think part of that was he had trouble talking to women himself. So he was like, okay, I can explore this topic Like there was a lot of unfulfilled yeah.

Speaker 1:

So he's like okay, I can explore this topic like there was a lot of unfulfilled, you know regrets in his life, and part of that was not being with more women, I would say yeah, exactly, and here's a cool part is just so we go back to several newsletters we've written and things that I coach on. Is he found a?

Speaker 2:

what a recipe and a system exactly, and a mentor, and a mentor.

Speaker 1:

A coach that knew the recipe and the system.

Speaker 2:

Yes, exactly, and part of as we dive deeper into kind of the magic pill and the three steps is, which weren't mentioned later. Is this right here? You have to have a process and you have to gain the skills and the abilities to get you where you want to go, and you have to gain the skills and the abilities to get you where you want to go.

Speaker 1:

But there's that out there in everything that you want to do, and it doesn't matter if you're white, black, da-da-da-da, it doesn't matter, yeah, you've got to follow. That's what I love about what Neil Strauss did here is it didn't matter if they were total nerds. If they followed the recipe, they still got the girl.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I want to say. There was even one man who had never even been on a date Ever. Yes, and I had a train of thought. What was it?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so anyway, I'll just go off with, if you want to follow the recipes in life and the things, even as unorthodox as they may be, because he was challenged in ways that he was like no freaking way, like no way, come on, I'm not going to do that, you know, like silly games, Like things he thought were cheesy, like maybe flashy clothes or jewelry, or like he's like that really works.

Speaker 1:

Or you know handing a ring to somebody and having an extra ring in your bag and you know now you're going to give me that back. I feel you're an integral and honest person and he's like what the heck, are you kidding me? But how that anchored. You know all the things you know, but yet, at the end of the day, he got the result of what he was looking for. And I don't want to get too far off the topic we're talking about, but this is very critically important that you don't have to underestimate yourself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because once again, it's not like he wasn't capable. He just did not have the recipe. And actually that was my train of thought was what he discovered was that this whole art of seduction was a linear process. It was a recipe he could follow. I think you know, in his mind he's like I'm never going to figure women out. They're so complex, like there's all these things and different situations and how do I do this? But it's actually a linear process, which pretty much everything in life is, if we just do it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, if we know where to look.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But what's funny is we trick ourselves into not looking and or saying we're not capable because of these reasons.

Speaker 2:

Or I think we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed too, because it's like I have the system but it's so big or I don't know. Sure so kind of what Bart was saying. What he discovered blew the lid off of all of his core belief structures as he was learning this art, and the book is an interesting read. We'll just throw out there that it's very graphic. Yeah, it's an 18 plus book.

Speaker 1:

I guess I don't know how to say to anything else, but it was recommended to me very first time by a marketer and he goes listen to this only for marketing and how to network. Because if you can learn these arts, it is the master of networking, it's the master of all these types of things. And so when I first got Neil Strauss's book, I was like whoa. But it overwhelmed me when I started listening to it that I couldn't stay on task of what I was listening to it for because I also love the fascination of humans and how their minds work, and so my mind would start to wander through all these different scenarios and all these things. But if you do go down any of Neil Strauss's rabbit holes, just be very, very aware he is a phenomenal, phenomenal writer.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I was going to say that too. He is a very, very good author and, once again, as you were just saying, what he learned is the same across the board For taking anyone who wants to achieve something they don't think they can do and do it. And, once again, marketing, or I would say networking, and personas. Yep, personas was amazing, yeah, and that's a little bit more what we're going to talk about. Yeah, so we kind of gave three steps on ways we can intentionally create our personalities to match all of our dreams, aspirations and goals and instantly show up as the most powerful version of ourselves in those arenas. Keep in mind, it's still up to you. Once again, you have to follow the recipe, you have to put the time in the inner, you have to bake the brownies. You can't just look at the recipe and it's all going to fall together for you.

Speaker 1:

Right, and you can't just sign up or run away from it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, you can't do that either.

Speaker 1:

Because you know what's interesting is the first time that he took them all out to do this right, or he went out to do it. How easy is it at that point to say no, no, no, I'm out.

Speaker 2:

See ya.

Speaker 1:

You know and then never fulfill it too.

Speaker 2:

Which is also nice If you think about a support system there. So true, Um, and in that same respect, kind of going back to the Adele example she had, she was already at a level she could take the stage and sing. It was these other things that were holding her back.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so I'm sure she had a sport career around her too, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So step one, which I like, is to make it a game. Like is to make it a game. We have a tendency to make life very, very serious. Anything we attempt to accomplish becomes serious on our minds If we make a mistake. We label ourselves a failure or incapable, or worry about what other people think. And let's be clear, you know, sometimes there's probably more on the line than we want it to be, and so maybe it feels more devastating when we don't accomplish what we want to accomplish. Does that make sense? Yeah, want it to be, and so maybe it feels more devastating when we don't accomplish what we want to accomplish. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it can be heavy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but what if we looked at life more like a video game and realized that most things we put so much weight on truly don't matter? It would be so much easier to attempt something without worrying ourselves to death about the outcome. And this is, I think, where emotions can come into play, because our emotions want to keep us safe and in control and they will try to stop you from doing what you want to do. The emotions are subjective, which is the crazy thing. You and I can face the same situation and I can be having a completely different emotion than you're having, which means subjective. So I've just got to look at those emotions and in these situations this is how Neil stated I really liked it they would be more like a pebble in your shoe. Look at your emotions like a pebble in your shoe. It's uncomfortable, but not part of the equation.

Speaker 1:

It's not the shoe.

Speaker 2:

So, like a video game, when you make a mistake you get to just have another go at it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's not a big thing. You just start at level one again, yeah, and you can continue. Oh, I like this. The best part is you can continue to level up as you accomplish each level. So as you keep trying, you get past level one. Well, all of a sudden you're on level two, so you can just keep going. But if you give up after your first or second try, just like a video game, it's game over, you're no longer in the game. And I actually really love. I was listening to a Nashville recording artist and he had moved to Nashville so that he could be a song. Well, he's a recording artist, but he's also a songwriter. He's actually a bigger songwriter than he is recording artists. And he just said I have to be in the game every day. If I'm not in the game, I'm not winning.

Speaker 1:

That's right, that's so good, so part of life.

Speaker 2:

Is it a game or is it serious? Consequence time Right, Okay, Step two is the power of a psychological bridge. Alter egos have been known about for centuries, but the truth is they really are the red pill to awakening your full potential Now. In his book he, like you said earlier, took on the name Stiles.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Do you want to talk more about that? Yeah, so what happened to him is is that he was running under his name and his mentor looked at him and said you can't be as powerful as you need to be and to step into what you're trying to do without we creating you a new persona and even down to, we're going to shave your head. We're going to do this, we're going to do that, and when you walk into something you're going to be known as this, which we're going to call you styles. And he was like like I mean, Neil wasn't enough, Right, and it wasn't about Neil not being enough, because Neil obviously was enough. It was he needed to step into a higher power and take on this new identity. So that was called styles. So it's the same thing as me Like, could I show up and ride a bike in my Western clothes? Absolutely I could. Would I accomplish the same thing? Maybe, but it'd be very difficult very hot?

Speaker 1:

Or do I need to change my style and everything about me and look at things and go put on spandex and join the group and be part of it? That's one thing that we forget is when we're in the game. A lot of us resist playing the game the way others play it. We resist that and there's something in us that wants to buck against the system. And it's not a system. It's like it was this linear motion thing. It's just part of what you do to make those things happen. But we think that it's like, well, if I can't show up the way I want to show up, then the hell with them. Who gives a crap? But reality isn't. That's what you, that's how you really feel you want people to show up. But anyway, I won't get off on too much.

Speaker 2:

No, that's not a tangent at all, it's actually perfect, because it just it made me have the thought. Like we always recognize the need to show up differently. If we're playing sports, right, I wouldn't. I wouldn't show up to play football if I didn't have football pads on. I wouldn't show up to play pickleball with my business clothes on. Yet when we go through different parts of our day, or we show up at business meetings or events or whatever, for some reason we just think that the everyday things should be enough. And why isn't it?

Speaker 1:

But it's a different game. Sunny, you really hit that. That's so good and that is a fantastic insight that we need to use more, because that's exactly right, you're dead on.

Speaker 2:

And, like you said, it's interesting and I guess, as we're diving into this topic, clothing has so much power.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's like a we'll just go back to the cowboys and cycling, because there's a lot of cowboys who would not be caught dead wearing spandex on a bike. Amen, but why not?

Speaker 1:

Exactly.

Speaker 2:

Why not? Yeah, why not?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's why, you know, sunny is always funny. This is just an insight for you guys is a lot of times I'll say what, bart, do you want me to show up, as with you tonight? And she always gets a chuckle out of that. She's like I don't care, I like them all you know. But reality is I say that because I don't care either. That's the beauty of my life is, if I can be the GQ Bart, the Gucci Bart, you know all set out GQ wise, I can be the Western Bart, the Cowboy Bart, I can be the sports Bart, I can dress the golf part, I mean there's all these things, and the funny part is I'm addicted to them all. I love it so freaking much fun right To just show up, and so I think it's really cool. But this is something that really stifles humans.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Because once again it's like no, this is my personality, this is just who I am and I'm not willing to experiencing anything different.

Speaker 1:

I even watch it in my own son. Black and this and this is who I am. This is what I'm going to wear.

Speaker 2:

He likes to wear black, a lot of black, which is interesting.

Speaker 1:

But when I took him to his first very big event, I dressed him totally different and he got so many accolades and I guarantee, if you ask him, he'd be like best day of my life. Yet he wasn't dressed his normal way. Yet he came home and went right back, right back, yep.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we're circling back around. So we're talking about alter egos, and style is a very big part of that. But alter egos work because they're a form of self dissociation. We can say it's not me, it's insert alter ego name. Or well, I have stage fright, but my alter ego doesn't.

Speaker 1:

And what's beautiful about this? What Sonny's bringing up here is actors do this all the time. Yes, thank you, that's why they get paid big money. It's because they can lose themselves in a role. In fact, a lot of actors spend months preparing themselves to be in this new role and then, when they're done, it's even difficult for themselves to get out of it.

Speaker 1:

So don't think it can't be done, because it's done all the time, even in a career, and it should be our career too. In a career format, we just don't take it as serious as an actor. But you would never sign up for a role in a movie and not do what the work needed to do. Yet you'll show up in your entrepreneurial life, in your marriage, things like that, and not be willing to step into the role that you truly want to be.

Speaker 2:

So good, so good. So, going back to Adele, her alter ego is Sasha Carter, which is a combination of Beyonce's alter ego, who is Sasha Fierce, and June Carter. So Adele used this alter ego to enable her to push past her stage fright so she can shine like she was meant to do. And she's just one of many, many, many, many, many stories, oh yeah.

Speaker 1:

It's endless.

Speaker 2:

I actually heard Tyler Joseph from 21 Pilots. Now he's got some alter egos already in the music he's creating, but he's also created it in his writing, where he disassociates with what he's writing by saying I'm not the one writing the song, the song is writing itself through me. Therefore, if you don't like the song it wasn't me, yeah, and that's the power of an alter ego because it's like well, you don't have to label yourself anything. It's not me, it's them, yeah. So we have a step-by-step process. We take people through in order to fully awaken and create their alter ego and we call their magnetic persona.

Speaker 2:

But just a tip to start if you want to start and play around with this, it would be to start thinking of people, animals or even machines that have characteristics you want to encompass and then write those down. Come up with the name and all the traits that this new persona of yours is going to have. Cool, yeah. And I would add a little more here too. Like you just said, think of it as taking on an acting role. You've got to do a lot of research, you've got to know. It's almost like you're taking their thoughts into your own in a lot of ways and you've just got to understand them like inside, outside, how would they show up, how would they react, how would they do all these things? Because I feel like a really good actor or actress is embodying their character. They're not just acting. Like you can tell when somebody's just acting versus embodying, and the goal is to embody.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and that's why when I watch a lot of people, people don't understand this. I watch for patterns. You know, like I, like I used this the other day. You know the doctors I showed up. I watch Elon Musk, I watch Tony Robbins, I watch all these elite humans and there's certain patterns that they all have and it's really interesting when you go look at their patterns, even patterns from.

Speaker 1:

This is the way I was as a child. This is what happened in my childhood. This is how I was shy, I was this. They tell you all the patterns but we don't realize it in ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Now that may not have happened in your life, but if you understand that and you can go research, what is it like to be this? How would that feel? And try to embody and feel it yourself. You know those different things are what help you create that acting role. That's how an actor you know that has.

Speaker 1:

So let's say that at some point in the human that they're displaying's life they had epilepsy and they've got to go through that, right, you see what I'm saying? Like they didn't have it. They don't have it in their body, but they still have to understand it at the level to act it and portray it and do all the things, or we wouldn't believe it and see it. So therefore, you think I'm crazy, but it's. The truth of the matter is, when you get that good at it and you allow yourself to be there, you can do this. But you've got to go study it, cause if you didn't understand what epilepsy did, what it looked like, all those things, you would never be able to be that part in that role. But it made that person who they were and who they are and what they accomplished. Therefore, it's worth the time and energy to study these things.

Speaker 2:

So good, yes, yeah, we could just have a mic drop moment there, all right. So step three is activation, and I didn't actually talk about this as much in the newsletter as I wanted to. But we go back to the boldness thing, because I feel like he or she who is bold is the one who's going to win.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I watched this in firsthand. I was I D. I decided to join a network marketing company and in that network marketing company I had a mentor and I was, I felt like pretty dang good at sales and I really was. I didn't think I was not bold, you know, but then I would get around this person and we would go into things and he would say things that I was like okay. It actually put me on edge, it made me feel discomfortable with the conversation, but the results were off the charts. His closing was off the charts and I learned a great lesson that he who is the most bold and certain wins.

Speaker 2:

Yes, certainty wins. So, going back to that, like once you created your alter ego, your persona, whatever you want to call it, you should feel a lot of confidence, fearlessness and boldness, yep, and we like to.

Speaker 1:

So I want to bring up somebody right here. So, for example, like if I were a guitar player and I was playing the guitar and I was teaching guitar and doing all these kind of things John Barbados comes to mind with me. Oh yeah, right, think about the cool jackets.

Speaker 1:

Think about all the cool power and all the Shazam that he had, but what an amazing right. So you got to start to think about those type of things when you're building your courses and the different things. You're not just a person, you're a persona to others. You're an actor to others.

Speaker 2:

You're just teaching them your talent same vein of John Varvatos, one of the ways you can activate your magnetic persona so that you can flip that light switch.

Speaker 2:

Start to embody and be bold and confident is through an article or a totem. So in magnetic we talk about activating with an item that is outside of yourself. So that could be a ring, it could be a pair of shoes, it could be a certain color of lipstick, it could be wiping a towel across your face as you're about ready to step into a sports arena, so it kind of can be a ritual or an item. Beyonce said her stilettos did it for her, and so what you want to do is find something that speaks to you, that you can put on when you're ready for that light switch to turn on, and it should not be something that you wear with you all the time. It's specific to that purpose.

Speaker 1:

Yep. So when I team rope, big shout out to Trevor Brazil. He wears a certain glove, and what's amazing about this glove is he's not even sponsored by them, which probably means nothing to a lot of you, but he is iconic enough that he literally can get anything given to him, but yet he still wears it, he still uses it. So I just know how critical that is to Trevor being Trevor, and that is a piece of him. That is him. So when I put that on, that's what activates me in my team roping.

Speaker 2:

So good, um, I like. Well, there's two people that I really look up to in the writing space.

Speaker 2:

One of them is Tyler Joseph, and so if I want to get creative but also kind of a little edgy I have a red like beanie sitting by my desk and I will put that on and that, like I really feel like it makes me step back and think differently and start to think like how would he approach this or what would he do, or you know, like all the it's so fun, it's such a creative process, yeah, so there's all that stuff that you can be doing. And, oh, if you want to hear more about this, you and I are going to be speaking on a stage pretty soon at Funnel Hacking Live International and we're going to dive way more deep into this than we're doing here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And you can grab your ticket at funnelhackinglivecom. Slash Bart, dash and dash Sunny, but we would love for you to come and support us and get a lot of value from that, and we would love to hear your thoughts on it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and also, if you're not in the marketing space, russell Brunson has a book out right. The marketing space, russell Brunson has a book out right and he talks about attractive characters within that and how to create an attractive character and things like that. So this is the attractive character.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it is.

Speaker 1:

So if you're reading that book or you understand that book, that is where this is the exact same world, so lots of people talk about it in different ways. We're just bringing all the information to the world in a format, in a way to do it, and I find this serves a lot of insurance. People that are speaking to people all the time and trying to sell themselves network marketers, internet marketers, doctors Anytime you're in the world of being out there in front of other people doing what you do, and you need to get your message across at a high, high level and be successful. This is a program or things that you absolutely have to know. A doctor that learns how to be the best actor doctor but understands what a doctor goes through routines, all the scripts, all the things makes the most amount of money.

Speaker 2:

So good and I could even take it a step further as far as you can use this in your own home.

Speaker 1:

Amen, you just one-upped me.

Speaker 2:

I one-upped you. Yes, I mean, I heard a story about a military dad and he was very structured, very stern, very all the things, but he did not want to be that way around his family, but he wore his uniform home every day, and so as soon as he walked in the door he was still a military dad, and so I think he started changing his clothes or something before he walked in the door, he had his dad outfit on and ready and as soon as he put that on he was activated as dad.

Speaker 2:

He could calm down, he could relax and he could enjoy his family time better. So there's so many places that you can apply this to Now, if you really are like a peak performer wanting to achieve great big things, you know, I think it's imperative.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

And I just wanted to wrap it with this. I think the most mind blowing truth buried underneath all of this is that it's just a method to pull out what you know is already inside you. Like, sometimes we look and we go, well, I'm not capable. Well, you are, you're capable, you just need something to pull it out. And the more you pull it out, the more it starts to merge with your normal everyday personality, and then you can find you don't have to switch it on anymore If you don't want to. It will just always be there. Yeah, and so then you've reached a level. That's right, and then you get to decide if you want to level up again. Yep, you just keep going. Amen, so cool.

Speaker 2:

Okay, just some quick life updates. Fun things for us this week. Okay, just some quick life updates. Fun things for us this week. We put our heads together to come up with a solution for our fourth quarter candle craziness, and last year we were inundated with orders and ended up having to use a lot of our home for candles. We had candles on the kitchen countertops. We had them on all the tables in the living room. We were coming out of every end with candles and with shipping.

Speaker 2:

And this year we decided we did not want to do that. So we got some storage containers and the plan is to turn them into a candle space. But we've got to get going on fourth quarter orders right now. So Mercedes has a goal of pouring 1,200 candles a week right now. So we decided to clean out our garage and make a huge candle manufacturing facility and shipping facility for her and we did that last Sunday. It took all day and it was a lot of work, but we're really happy to have it done.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's funny how you take on projects and it takes way more than you think. And then also, we got our decks 100% finished, which is exciting. So those of you guys that followed that big shout out to Outlaw Construction, great job on getting the decks done.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so grateful. Other than that, we've played a little pickleball this week.

Speaker 1:

Yep, I've played quite a bit here and there. I also roped, went over to a buddy of my place, um, and got a rope. Some amazing steers had an absolute time of my life and, uh, it was very kind, because I'm chasing a little bit right now of the world series and wanting to go to Vegas and rope for the big dollars. So I've been putting a lot of time, energy into that. And then, um, put a lot of time into the right kind of pickleball and playing the right kind of game, which is fun. And you know, my dear amazing queen and I went and played and played another couple. That was really fun, learned some fun stuff there. But, uh, yeah, some pickleball.

Speaker 2:

Yep, so good. And then, other than that, we've just really been hard at work around here on stuff and putting our programs together and putting our stuff together for our upcoming speech. And also we are getting ready to head to the 21 pilots concert next Sunday so excited. And then Kenya and Caden's Vegas wedding reception last weekend of this month and then we will be in Vegas for the first week of September. So if you're going to be there, let us know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, let's go. We'd love to see you in Vegas, love to spend time with you. Our magnetic team for this program will be there. We call them the magnetic squad their awesomeness and they will be there and we will be shopping for them. In fact, I just set that up today with Ricky.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we'll be in Ricky's room.

Speaker 1:

Ricky's room. Let's go.

Speaker 2:

We might.

Speaker 1:

I'm sure we'll post some photos of that. Well, another cool part. We'll have to tell people a little bit later, but we also got gifted a very, very important thing. That's within that actual store and there's only 12 of those. That is very exclusive very exclusive and we, our brand, will be in a very high end store in Las Vegas.

Speaker 2:

So cool, can't wait.

Speaker 1:

Me neither. I'm pretty excited actually about it.

Speaker 2:

All right, that's a wrap.

Speaker 1:

All right. Well, thank you guys for listening today. We're so grateful for your time and your energy. We know that you could be listening to other things, but we ask you, if there's somebody out there that could use a message like this and or this would just brighten their day, please share this content with them. I know it takes energy, effort, but if you can share it, we know we can get it out to the people who are looking for it and make a difference in the world, and that is Sonny and I's goal. So we ask you once again hit that, share, put a comment down here. Let's get this stuff out there for us. We'd greatly appreciate it, and this segment is brought to you by, I Do Epic.

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Bart Miller

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Sunny Miller

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