We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Are You Playing Full Out or Sitting This One Out?

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 39

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Welcome to this week's episode of We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny!

Today we discuss:

  • Are You Playing Full Out? Or Sitting This One Out?
  • What We're Watching: Jones Plantation and "I Am: Celine"

Are You Playing Full Out? Or Sitting This One Out?
*Some of the content here is in reference to the article, "The Genius Inside You: Unlocking the Brain's Drive to Mastery" by Robert Greene*

Mastery. It's kind of a word that is becoming more and more lost. The overarching idea is that if we don't try too much in life we will be more in control of how we look to others and we have less chance of failure. Or how about this one: we don't have to become great at anything because technology will do it for us. Mastery is no longer needed.

The problem is... "if we don't create our own world we will die from inaction.

Are you rather passive when it comes to achievement? Or active? We recently read an article that was quite astonishing in that it proclaimed that people get the quality of the brain they deserve through their actions in life. Neuroscientists are proving that our brains are not hardwired, they are actually quite plastic - our thoughts determine our mental landscape. People who are passive create a mental landscape that is quite barren. They start to listen  more to others than to their own voices. Again, do you want to create your own mind and your own world or do you want to allow someone else to create it for you?

Robert Greene, a New-York Times Best-selling author said, "Anything that is alive is in a continual state of change and movement. The moment that you rest, thinking you have attained the level you desire, a part of your mind enters a phase of decay. You lose hard earned creativity and others begin to sense it. This is a power and intelligence that must be continually renewed or it will die."

So, it really all comes down to you... what kind of life do you want to create? Do you want to play full out in your life? Or do you want to sit this one out?

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Bart. Never quite know what to say to that, but here I am.

Speaker 1:

I think anything works.

Speaker 2:

Ooh, I should start to change it up a little then. Yeah Well, this week actually, we went for a walk this morning and kind of had a discussion about our newsletter. We talked about our theme, which is we play full out, and it was just kind of fun to revisit it and remind ourselves of what we're trying to accomplish here.

Speaker 1:

What we think that term means and how it affects us as a couple. Because you know, when we came up with that term not we when you came up with that term, it was very powerful to me term. It was very powerful to me and it hit me like really hard because I want to say in my life I play full out, but what I love is when I put the we in front of it, because it changes everything. Not that I play full out, but we play full out. And that is when you've got business partners, a spouse. Can you play full out in life with others or do you just play full out by yourself?

Speaker 2:

I love that and I kind of put a few thoughts in here too about playing full out as showing up even when it's hard, and that can be for both Right. But I do love the we being present with ourselves and with our with others, examining our core belief structures and not being afraid to challenge them or like to challenge each other's belief systems. Right, Did I say that right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, most definitely, and that is the one that's the toughest, because you can get the backlash that you didn't want to get. And that's the fear that we have is that we're going to get the backlash that we didn't if we challenge somebody else's belief structure and I think that's just a really quick thing is that's why I think it's critical that you divide offices and give some latitude to one person in the office that you create and that way I can walk into your office, you can invite me in your office, but at the end of the day, it's your decision in that office.

Speaker 2:

Are we talking business here?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that was business wise.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 1:

And I think in relationship too, you can. You can give each other kind of offices. In relationship too, it's a little different, but you can. So, for example, in our relationship, and we talk about this some, but like you love to mow the lawn, that's your office. Now I might give you some advice and say I'd like the lawn a little lower, or you know, let's cut it for more frequently, or you know, whatever it might be, I'm just using it as an example. But, that being said, at the end of the day it's your office, it's your decision, whatever you go with. But you can take that I might challenge something and say, hey, this mower needs to be an electric mower versus this, and your belief is it might be gas. But at the end of the day, if it doesn't change, does the lawn still get mowed? Probably, you know, but it doesn't mean that I can't challenge it. But it's your office. Did I get on too much of a tangent there?

Speaker 2:

No, not entirely. I think there's lots of different ways to look at it, and that for sure is one, but there are times when I feel like things are both our offices yes, oh yeah. And then when beliefs are challenged there, it can get a lot more touchy.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And that's when you.

Speaker 1:

Like, let's say, raising our kids. We include that as both of our office, because we want our kids to obviously grow up to be whatever we think they need to be, I guess.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, or even in just our relationship and how we define that and what it looks like. We can have different opinions, we can have different beliefs.

Speaker 1:

Can those change?

Speaker 2:

They better be able to be changed.

Speaker 1:

Right. So that's another thing is just because you've got it today doesn't mean you can't revisit that belief. Yeah, let's move on with what you've got. I think it's so good.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then performing at our highest levels at all times is also playing full out, and let's be clear, that changes on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes we just have more in the tank than we do other days, but I think just being conscious of, hey, I'm doing the best I can.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that is man. I watch in so many people and I shouldn't say it, but like, like, I see them shouldn't say this, but like half-assed things, just do the minimal to get by, but yet they want. They'll say, I want to be that person, but they only want to do the minimal to be that person when they and they feel like that should be enough.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and that is a very good segue into the next section.

Speaker 1:

Great.

Speaker 2:

So let's talk about that a little bit. We're going to start with the word mastery and some of the content here. Here I just want to shout out to Robert Green. He wrote an article called the genius inside you unlocking the brain's drive to mastery. Now all the content is from here, but some little pieces here and there, so I just want to make sure that he's recognized. So mastery, it's kind of a word that's becoming more and more lost these days. Just like you said, it's like we see somebody on stage or we see somebody you know who has a lot of status or a lot of talent, and it's like we want to be them. They seem to be masters to us, but we don't want to put the work in. It's kind of become a lost thing to reach that level. The overarching idea is I think that's prevalent in society correct me if I'm wrong is that if we don't try too much in life, we will be more in control of how we look to others and we have less chance of failure.

Speaker 2:

I think that's part of it, you bet, and I think the other is we don't have to become great at anything because technology will do it for us yep so it's kind of an archaic thing that nobody really I don't know I wouldn't say nobody, that's too too broad, but a lot of people don't know I wouldn't say nobody, that's too broad, but a lot of people don't look at it as something that's worth trying for.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think it is something that we so I'll give you an example. What I believe in this just a little bit, because it was brought to my attention today in myself. Attention today in myself and that is when I drive my tesla to be able to master to drive becomes a little bit obsolete because it does so much for me that I can become complacent in learning how to really drive a car.

Speaker 2:

so good, I like that complacency. Yes, keep going.

Speaker 1:

I was like what in the world. So when I get in my other Duramax and I drive it, it takes alertness. It takes yeah, it takes a lot of different things you know, and so it's funny how technology will let me come complacent in mastering something, shut all that stuff off and know how to run that car, know how it operates, know what the reaction is, know all these things and then all of a sudden you go to another level. But it's, it's difficult when you own a car like that to do that, because it's. Why would you?

Speaker 2:

so good, all right. So the kind of going back to a problem is if we don't create our own world, we will die from inaction. Yeah, how would that relate to the tesla example?

Speaker 1:

let's see if we don't create our own world.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so we will die from inaction yeah, so inaction.

Speaker 1:

Let's say, all of a sudden, my autopilot, everything shut off oh, there you go yeah, then all of a sudden I have to be in downtown salt lake or doing this, that and the other, and I have to look at my blind spot. I have to learn that I still need to check because the camera isn't there. I have to learn that my fuel and how I gauge how much pressures on the speed I got to control that as I'm driving I can't just, you know, take my foot off the gas when I need to go break the car in front of me. If the car is not going to automatically break for me, I need to keep that distance and judge that distance and let my you know, it's funny, our bodies get used to that and so it rates that for us. We become become aware of it.

Speaker 1:

You know, there's I could go on all day, but there's so many things I wouldn't know how to do. So therefore, I could go into freak out stage of like what do I do? And just pull off the side of the road and do nothing because I don't know how to actually drive a car and and and. Here's the interesting thing is, if you take, would say, a lot of America today and put them in a stick shift car, they don't even understand why a stick shift works. So therefore they don't understand how an automatic car even shifts.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1:

So just those are things, I guess, that just come to my mind.

Speaker 2:

I like that. Okay, well, I used to have a band teacher His name was Mr Postian, and he would say practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect. And he had a point. So if you practice but make the same mistakes over and over again without fixing them, you really aren't going to sound that much better when you go to perform. You don't. Um, what's the word I want? Have the I can't think of the word privilege, the privilege of acting surprised when you make the same mistakes again and they're just not gone. Um, so, yes, time and effort was put in, but it wasn't put in the right place. The same time and effort, directed the right way, produces much greater results.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and the cheat code to that is, if you practice in front of a master, the master even becomes faster because they can hear the off note, they can hear the things that even though you're trying to practice perfectly, that will enhance it because you've got a master there that's already done that and therefore can see it make it quicker yes, I like that and I also actually like um.

Speaker 2:

when you learn from a master, they teach you to practice correctly. So even if they aren't there, like I, sit in with xander and um, his teacher tells him time and time again how to effectively practice. And it's true, and sometimes, because I take jazz piano, he'll be like how much time did you spend on this? I'm like, well, just 20 minutes. It's just, I practice the right way.

Speaker 1:

Instead of playing all the notes I wanted to play, I played the ones that I'm having troubles with, you know all the things, yeah, and it reminds me of when we went to Boise and we were so excited to have another master sit with Xander and to coach him, only to find out that the instrument had an issue, and therefore it was like, oh, what now? And he's like, oh, it's simple, it's really, I'll just teach him how to practice better.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And he did. He spent an entire almost two hours going through on different things that would make Xander better, strictly by the way he would practice and what he could do and what he needed to be aware of in practice, and I was like boom, mind blowing. But most people not only say most, but a lot of people would be frustrated, mad, because you know it's like everything. They just want to play the game.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and win and win. Not just play yeah, but win, play to win. As Dan Sullivan and Dr Ben Hardy said in the book, 10x is better than 2X. It's not effort that matters, but where that effort is directed. So good, I would say effort does matter. Like you still need to show up and do something, but it's much better if you put it where it needs to be to become greater. So we have to show up, practice and put the work in, and our reward is that we get to be the ones to create our own minds and our own world. And go back to that whole thing like we don't want to die from inaction. Like let's create the world, let's play full out in the world. That we want to die from inaction. Like let's create the world, let's play full out in the world that we want to live in.

Speaker 1:

And here's the fun thing that I don't think I'm always aware of when I'm doing it. But you know the one I impressed the most myself there's nothing funner than when you've practiced and practice and then you do it and you're like huh, yes, other others recognize it and they will give you accolades sometimes. Like huh, yes, other others recognize it and they will give you accolades sometimes, but not all the time, no. But what's cool is you get to pat yourself on the back Cause you're like I did it, my gosh, you know, it's so cool. That to me, is the adrenaline, and it's like I've listened to Michael Jordan, I've listened to the best in the world, and they always say where you really shine is in the game, right, like that's. That is where all the practice gets to be shown. All roads lead to the stage Right, but it's during the practice you got to realize that it's mundane.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's repetitive. It's work, you nailed it. It's effort. Yeah, but worth it. Yeah, but worth it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and you find out just what your practice did for you when you get in the game.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yes, definitely so. In sports, artistic endeavors, relationships and in business, it's one thing to show up and do the work and another to show up and do it like you're going to perform.

Speaker 1:

Amen. You want to practice to practice, or you want to practice to perform, and that's why a lot of times when I'm roping, and you know this, it's like all of a sudden we'll whip out 50 bucks and say the next year is $50, and everybody goes, you know, and Annie's in, because what is it?

Speaker 2:

All of a sudden, everybody's roping is awake, it's alive, it's next level, it's being mine Everything changes right.

Speaker 1:

So in the practice pen, when you all of a sudden simulate the real thing and you put real stuff there and I don't you know. What's funny is it doesn't matter if it's 50 or a buck. Right, it changes, just changes the energy it changes everything, and so you've got to sometimes, even when you're in the practice, know how to add the stress of a game.

Speaker 2:

so that you can practice. I love this and I know that I've talked about this before, but it's been a while. But I watched Chris Thiele from Punch Brothers this is so good and he did a whole series on performing and playing and music.

Speaker 1:

Give us a little background of who he is, just so people know.

Speaker 2:

So Chris Thiele well, he's currently in Punch Brothers. He was in Nickel Creek, but he is just so people know. So chris theely well, he's currently in punch brothers. He was in nickel creek, but he is a phenomenal mandolin player, yeah, and I'm sure he's got all kinds of accolades and he won some huge grant that, like you know but let's just say it this way he's one of the top of the top of mandolin players.

Speaker 2:

He's a master, okay, sure, and he started in bluegrass and all the things, but he actually recreates the adrenaline from playing live by watching tennis matches, because they get his heart rate up so high. And as soon as it's up high, he'll grab his mandolin and start practicing, because that's the only way he can think of to put himself into a situation where he feels like he's playing live, or he'll have a fight with his wife, okay, and his emotions will be all over the board, and that's when he'll go practice. He's like I'm embarrassed to say this, but I use it to my advantage. So good, because it's just like that. The energy switches when you step onto a stage. It's a lot different than you're standing in your room practicing by yourself oh, 100%. And so he does his best to recreate that through things like that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean, it is a game changer, when you can change your practice into this is like I'm doing it, and then when you get in those real situations, it's just another day, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And so I mean think about that as we're going through this, like relationships, like we work on a relationship every day, how can we change the energy of it? Like, how can we put more on the line? How can we?

Speaker 1:

well, we Well. We just had this conversation, literally two days ago, and it's like we both looked at each other and said we are going to have more fun.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we did.

Speaker 1:

We're going to have more fun. Now why is that such a big deal? It's a huge deal, it's a big deal for us and to become masteries in our relationship. We want to look at all sorts of things and just turn it into. How can that just be fun?

Speaker 2:

Yes, so good. So let's see where we at here. Kind of back to the effort thing, Like are you working just to work and cross one more task off your checklist? Are you putting your time in your arena, or are you making it exciting, making it energizing, wanting to create a higher version of yourself or or create some kind of mastering your life to where there is that energy and that fire and that excitement and that passion?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, are you going to bring this up, probably a little later.

Speaker 1:

But you came to me, uh, I want to say a week ago, two weeks ago, and said hey, you know one thing, I find in my work it's kind of getting to where I'm, it's mundane and it's find in my work it's kind of getting to where I'm, it's mundane and it's it's work, and I am going to change my paradigm and I'm going to make it fun to where I'm energized about doing this.

Speaker 1:

And then I watched a show and I'm sure you're going to get there later, so I'm not going to bring it up here, but I watched a show and it was the power in that show, that of this scenario I'll bring then. But so good, and I was so proud of you because I do the same thing. But when somebody brings it to your attention, it's like oh, oh, I need to pay attention to that too, because I find things that I'm doing the same way. You know, I I used to get up at six o'clock in the morning and be like, oh my god, I get like so excited. Now I get up six, where we're now.

Speaker 1:

I'm trying to rechange that because I do actually like getting up early and enjoying the birds, enjoying that nice little crisp air, yeah, like having my cup of coffee when there's nobody around. There's certain things I do enjoy about it, but I lost that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so easy to lose.

Speaker 2:

For some reason and it's kind of what connects us to our life force, energy. It's like fun, creative, like let's enjoy the enjoy it while we can. So, um, we recently read an article that was quite astonishing. It proclaimed that people get the quality of the brain they deserve through their actions in life. I'm gonna say that again People get the quality of the brain they deserve through their actions in life. So neuroscientists are proving that our brains are not hardwired. They're actually quite plastic. I think it's mental plasticity. Our thoughts determine our mental landscape. So people who are passive create a mental landscape that is really barren. They start to listen more to others than to their own voices. So again, do you want to create your own mind and your own world, or do you want to allow someone else to create it for you?

Speaker 1:

So a really cool thing that happened to me when I was riding bikes a lot, you know, man, they were long rides and you know this 100 miles. You know, my daily ride was 25 miles minimal and some of my rides were up to 209 miles okay, on a bicycle and it's amazing. Now let's just say I'm averaging 15 to 20 mile an hour. That's really not that fast.

Speaker 2:

Go get in your car and go that drive a hundred miles at 15 miles an hour.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, go do that. Then what I want you to do is go see how much of the landscape you really saw.

Speaker 2:

I love that.

Speaker 1:

Okay, now when I changed my paradigm and I thought I'm going to start to look around. I'm going to enjoy this ride by seeing details. I'm going to see the little red barn. I'm going to see this ride by seeing details. I'm going to see the little red barn. I'm going to see things like that.

Speaker 1:

Now, not always in racing can you do that? Let's be clear, you've got a lot to pay attention to, but it was amazing how much I did see, how much my brain allowed me to feel the air hitting my face, to feel the different smell, but smell the different smells, to feel the different. You know the fabric. And then a different smell. And I feel, but smell the different smells, to feel the different, you know the fabric. And then all of a sudden, you'd throw an ice pack on me and to feel that water trickling down my back and just paying attention to that, my brain would come awake and it made it fun, it made it thrilling, where before it was just pain and I'm just like, oh, I'm grinding it out grinding this and I've watched that tire and I'm tired.

Speaker 2:

My legs are going to fall off, but all of a sudden the 25 miles went like that, and it was enjoyable, so fun. Yeah, I think that's what being present does for all of us, if we pay attention to that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I love that so good. So the landscape of our minds is much more enriched when we take time to look around.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And all of a sudden notice the butterfly oh, yeah, yes, yes. So I'm going to close with a quote from robert green. He said anything that is alive is in a continual state of change and movement. The moment that you rest thinking you have attained the level you desire, a part of your mind enters a phase of decay. You lose hard-earned creativity and others begin to sense it. This is a power and intelligence that must be continually renewed or it will die.

Speaker 1:

So, if I understand you correctly, you're saying we are like a river, like a river Always changing. Yes and moving. Yes, and moving, moving always have different currents, always doing different things. And you're the river, is experimenting as it goes and it flows, and it's always creating and it's crafting and it's doing all these things and that is what our brain wants to be like yes and as soon as we lock our brain into say nope, this is where we're at this, is it?

Speaker 1:

damn it up that's right, you nailed it right. Then, all of a sudden, what happens to us? Stagnate, we die yep.

Speaker 2:

So real life comes down to you. What kind of life do you want to create? Do you want to play full out in your life or do you want to sit this one out?

Speaker 1:

yeah, you want to sit on the bench so good.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we're gonna dive into the show that you were alluding to earlier. So a friend and client of ours, chris lawson, recommended a documentary to you yeah, if you guys don't know chris lawson, please look him up, follow him.

Speaker 1:

You know, and I want to shout out to all my amazing people that are surrounding me, that I not only get the privilege to be part of their lives in coaching, but I get a privilege to be a part of their life and I love that. So Chris Lawson and I get in some really cool, deep conversations that I thoroughly enjoy because he's a brilliant human.

Speaker 2:

He really is and he told you about a show called Jones plantation he did. Would you like to tell us about this?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, um, this really set me on my heels, you know, I, uh, I I watched it and I would encourage anybody to watch it. But I want you to, anybody to watch it, but I want you to when you watch it. It's not like you're going to watch this show and walk away being uplifted. It's not a romance, it's not a comedy. It's very, very, very, very real. Let's just say it that way. And so what happens in this show? We, you can relate to your real life really quickly.

Speaker 1:

But the thing I took away the most out of the show I would say one of the highlights of the show let's just say it that way was how they just changed words. Now I'll give you the example. So this gentleman comes on to a plantation that was being run as a slave plantation. Now, that means that the workers were slaves and that means that they didn't do things, they didn't get productive, they got beat, all these different things, as you would imagine on a plantation. This gentleman comes in and says hey, look, we can get everything we want from these people by just changing the vocabulary of how we're speaking to these slaves. They won't even know it and they'll still be slaves. And I was like tricky, tricky.

Speaker 2:

I'm on hearing.

Speaker 1:

How are you going to do this?

Speaker 1:

So, what he does. He brings them all in and he says we're going to give you your freedom, you're all free. Well, I'll think of a slave. If, all of a sudden, you hear you your freedom, you're all free. Well, I'll think of a slave. If, all of a sudden, you hear you're free, what is the question they have? So the first thing they do is right, here's resistance, here's the domino that they needed to push over. If I give them freedom but they're a slave, and I still want them to be a slave, how do I convince them to be free but yet be a slave? Right, right, I mean, that's what you're trying to do here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So he says now, all the plantations around us, though, are slave plantations. You're free, they're not free, but if you leave without papers, or you leave, we can't help you. If you get to another plantation and they capture you, what will they do to you? Well, they're going to make you a slave. You know like I'll be a slave again. Exactly so. You have your freedom on this plantation, but if you want freedom throughout the rest of the world, you've got to get your paperwork. But that still doesn't guarantee that I give you papers that somebody might not capture you and put you into slavery again. So like oh, awesome, I want my freedom. Okay, now you got your freedom. Now we're going to pay you now, when you are a slave. Do you understand currency? Well, not like the world's currency, because you've never been accustomed to world's currency, right?

Speaker 1:

so they figure out a different currency within the plantation's currency to pay you, okay. So then they change the word to not slavery, to freedom. They change the way we're going to be paid right To here's how you get your food now. Not, it's just provided to you, because on a plantation they would just give them so much food rations, so what I'm saying. So all of a sudden they changed that. So all these terms are changing.

Speaker 1:

But at the end of the day, they were doing the exact same amount of work. They were doing actually more work. They were happier about it. They were working for all these things. They were getting in debt and could borrow money for the very first time. So then all these things started to even make them more slaves to the system than they ever were before. And then finally one of them wakes up and says hey, are you doing anything different than you were doing before? No, but you're happier. Yeah, You're singing, you're excited, you're all these things. Yeah, but what's happened? You're actually. You're excited, you're all these things. Yeah, but what's what's happened? You're actually working more, you're doing all these things, we're still slaves. And so he goes to the whole group and he tells them all these things. And then he stands up and and announces it in front of the master that, hey, you haven't give us freedom, you've actually give us slavery.

Speaker 1:

And everybody in the group was so sold on the new words and the vocabulary that they beat him and killed the guy crazy. But vocabulary means so much and just changing the paradigm changed everything for them. What reality is? It didn't change anything for them. And so, watching the show now there's way more to the show and I'm just touching on it. But it really made me say in life, how do I say it? Yes, I'm still a slave, but I have. Whatever way I want to look at it will make all the difference in the world on what I do within those confounds, I guess. And so it didn't depress me. It actually give me more enlightenment in my own life of how to be able to be whistle while you work.

Speaker 2:

Hmm, that's a great takeaway. I didn't know you were going to go there with it Cause, like I guess I look at maybe the greater powers that be and how they they do play on us and you know, like the, the government and maybe a slave to the system that we're in, type of thing, right, yeah, but I I do really appreciate the paradigm of what can we do with what we have and let's enjoy that yeah, well, I mean, I can kick against the system to a certain extent yeah, and you'll just be, but will people turn on me or will they not?

Speaker 1:

You know, like the overall and at what level am I willing to go against the system? But even if I go against the system, am I happy about what I'm doing? Yeah, or am I doing it because I'm?

Speaker 2:

good, is it causing you more harm than good?

Speaker 1:

Or happiness. Yeah, yep, phew, that's deep, it's really deep. So if you watch the show, love some feedback from you guys the way you see it. Like I said, I I'm just giving you like little bits and pieces of it and I would never wish slavery upon any of us. But at the end of the day, no matter what we want to look at, if you want to use the word slave, we are that in some way, some form in everything we do in life.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, really everything we do in life, because if you think about just culture in general, there's constraints, there's things that stop us, maybe from expressing the way we would, or I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to stop.

Speaker 1:

We'll leave it at that.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to go there, but I think there's a lot to be said about all of that. All right, so one show that I watched yesterday and a little bit this morning was I Am Celine Dion and let's just say I shed quite a few tears over this documentary.

Speaker 1:

And rightfully so.

Speaker 2:

Obviously, I've fought some emotional demons around losing my singing voice, so I could definitely relate to Celine. Even though I have not been an international star, I still relate to the losing of the voice. But if you don't know, celine has been diagnosed with stiff person syndrome, which is an extremely rare autoimmune neurological disorder, and this documentary really doesn't hold anything back. It is very up close and personal peek into her life right now and the battles that she's fighting every day, and that's physical and emotional. You actually see some of her medical emergencies and what she goes through when her body stiffens, and it's very traumatic. So that's just something that I've been watching and also, I guess my takeaways are, first of all, that what a warrior she is like she's still playing full out as much as she possibly can with what she's been given, and then a very, very clear reminder that you've got to live every day the best you can like. Enjoy the moment, be present, like you said, enjoying the landscapes around you, because you don't know what's around the corner and it can change pretty quickly.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's even like I don't know what's around the corner and it can change pretty quickly. Yeah, it's even like I just I don't know why, this just popped in my head so I'm going to say it, but it's as simple as even when we eat our food, tasting it absolutely, it's one of the best things you can do instead of just eating your food. Right, it's just that moment of just that one being able to say I can take a bite instead of having to get it through an IV.

Speaker 2:

Yep.

Speaker 1:

And you know it's funny, I've had several paper cuts in my life. Sorry, I don't know why, but I do. But man, it's amazing how just a paper cut in my finger makes me appreciate that finger.

Speaker 2:

It's one of the worst things Because it hurts, right?

Speaker 1:

So just every day, no matter what situation we're in, to be able to just sit back and say but I'm here, gratitude and the joy of what you have.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, all right. So life updates, the baby shower for Mercedes and the wedding reception for Kenya and Caden were awesome. They were a lot of work but worth it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I am so excited for both of them. What a cool journey.

Speaker 2:

One little hiccup happened when the entire reception was set up and ready to go. I literally only had the food left to bring out. Thank goodness I hadn't yet, because it started to rain.

Speaker 1:

Huge rainstorm.

Speaker 2:

And, let's be clear, like it's been really, really smoky here because there's been a lot of wildfires around us, so the sky's already gray, and then it was an overcast day, so we just couldn't see it coming in, and all of a sudden the wind kicked up. I'm like we are in trouble. So grateful for neighbors and friends who saw the storm, knew what we were doing. They jumped in their cars, came like five minutes early because that's basically when it hit and they just came in. What can we do? What can we do? What can we do? They grabbed the tables, brought them into the garage. We're wiping them down, they're sweeping things out, and literally like five minutes before, people started showing up and so we actually had a procession down our hallway into our home, which I wasn't expecting, to greet Kenya and Caden. But just so grateful for the thoughtfulness and the caring that was shown to me in that moment, cause it meant a lot.

Speaker 1:

And the attitude of our amazing daughter and family that just said so what? Let's be happy, let's have fun and let's enjoy the moment.

Speaker 2:

So about 10 minutes after it was over and we took the tables back outside minus the wet tablecloths and enjoy the rest of the evening and, just like you said and just like one of our neighbors said, it just made the whole thing more memorable. It sure did. So family events have calmed down. We're taking some deep breaths, but I wouldn't say we're relaxing, because I feel like time is always there but it doesn't really slow down. So if you're not spending your time on one thing, you're spending it on another, and this week we've kind of been talking about what do we want to do with our lives, what's exciting to us, what do we want to experience? And just really diving into what do we want.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's been fun and I know for me it's. I love more than anything helping couples just connect like you and I have connected and to look at relationship from different lenses and experiment with those different lenses. And you know, I bring lenses up a lot because, like we've talked about, like just because we have a pair of glasses on and they work today doesn't mean they're going to work for us in the future. We, our prescription can change right, and we need to be looking at that. And just because we have sunglasses on or we have polarized glasses on, they can all be the same lens but they give us a different view.

Speaker 1:

And so I just, I just like that and I love that when you can sit with couples and coach them through some of those things, how you can make things light and you can go oh man, I didn't realize that was making it. You know I was making things tougher and then I didn't need to or I didn't realize this or that, and I love that so much. And so you know I've really expressed that with Sunny and she's she's been on board. So much of just saying yeah, I love helping couples too. You know I don't talk about it as much and I don't you know, but I do, and she loves to see the empowerment in the. Anyway, it's just been fun. So that's one thing we've talked about is how do we help more couples, how do we, how do we do more entrepreneurial couple coaching and things like that, and uh, maybe even some retreats in the future.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like really soon, I'd love to do a really cool couples retreat and if you're interested in that, by all means, you know, let us know if this is stuff that you'd like to hear more of. And, uh, give us some input, because you know, we've been married over 30 years and there's been a lot that's we've been married 29 years exactly because my yeah, yeah. So 29 years and sorry I'm off, but that's but but long enough that we've experienced going through a lot of different things, of having kids leaving different beliefs to.

Speaker 2:

I mean all sorts of things all the normal couple things to the ups and the downs and the ins and the outs, and the fighting and the happiness.

Speaker 1:

Have we been separated before? Yes, yes, have we done all the things?

Speaker 2:

Yes, have we made mistakes? Yes, yes, not.

Speaker 1:

I mean Sunny a lot, but I mean you know, yeah, never Bart. All 10 fingers pointing at Bart, which is great.

Speaker 2:

And Sunny, so true.

Speaker 1:

But that's the fun of it and that's the fun of it and that's been such a cool thing when you can, like you know, sunday night, talk today, you know, I can be with my soulmate and talk about things and say things that I used to never dream of or would never visit. And now we look at each other and laugh and go. I'm so glad that we have that chance and that we can laugh about it and have fun. We want that for each other and it just geez to get to that point, dang.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's been a journey and I felt like this last little while. I feel like I've been experiencing more and more epiphanies in just how our thoughts contribute to our suffering. And when you let go of a thought, it's magical suffering. And when you let go of a thought, it's magical, wow. When you let go of trying to fight against reality, it's magical. All of a sudden you're calm and you find peace and all of a sudden the world's a better place living in the moment yeah, okay, xander received his official driving permit in the mail, but he has yet to go anywhere.

Speaker 2:

So where should xander go? Everybody, he's got to drive with an adult, so might have to run into our little town and grab some food or something.

Speaker 1:

Have him chauffeur us around um no, we're looking for adults to come and ride with him.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah, that's even better. Any takers, can you log 50 hours with xander before we get in the car, please? Okay, and then I'm reluctant to admit it, but I have a high school reunion tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Not sure I want to say how many years that is. I think it's awesome.

Speaker 2:

You're beautiful as ever. Thanks, babe. 30 years. That's why I know we haven't been married for 29.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I would have had to graduate.

Speaker 2:

That's true's true. Barely did I barely did got married when I was 18. Let's go. Okay, we have quite a few travel dates coming up in august. We got 21 pilots on august 18th in salt lake I'm so excited. Las vegas for kenya and caden's Vegas wedding reception. We get wedding reception number two the 23rd through the 25th and then back to Vegas for shopping with our magnetic crew and Funnel Hacking. Live International First full week of September. Let's go, and that is a wrap. Today, awesome.

Speaker 1:

Hey, I hope you guys really listen to this. Give us like. I know it takes time out of your day to give us feedback. I know it takes time out of your day to spread the word and to let people know about this, but the only way that this grows is if you help us and help us grow this. So if you find this helpful for you and can be helpful for somebody else, we do ask you to please, please, please, share it. Let people know. If you have a blog out there, give us a shout out. If you have something out there, give us a shout out If you feel like this could be beneficial. If you have a podcast, you want to have a song, let us know that also, and we will be there to play full out and give you the details. Right, sonny, absolutely Awesome, and so pick one thing this week that you want to play full out in and go for it. Go big, and we'd love to have you part of our ecosystem. Check out all of our programs at idoepiccom.

Speaker 2:

And then this segment is brought to you by I Do Epic.

People on this episode

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Bart Miller

Host
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Sunny Miller

Host