We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny

Communication is a Bigger Game Than Just Saying Stuff You Think Sounds Cool

• Bart and Sunny Miller • Season 1 • Episode 38

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Welcome to this week's episode of We Play Full Out with Bart and Sunny!

Today we discuss:

  • Ideas Strongly Stated But Loosely Held is the Mark of True Intelligence
  • Communication is a Bigger Game Than Just Saying Stuff You Think is Cool

Ideas Strongly Stated But Loosely Held is the Mark of True Intelligence

Our internal belief systems are like a map that guide us toward goals and taking actions in our lives. But what if you aren't fully aware of them? Can your beliefs be holding you back? Discover how questioning long-held convictions can unlock new levels of personal growth and intelligence, as well as open up freedom in your life to create a life you fit to you.

*Sunny note: she realized she mixed up the penicillin story with the discovery of germs in hospitals! Oops!!

Communication is a Bigger Game Than Just Saying Stuff You Think is Cool

Just because you say stuff to someone doesn't mean they heard or understood what you said. In business and in relationships it is your responsibility to make sure you communicated what you meant to say. We also dive into what withheld value judgments are and how they can be the downfall of a business (or, again, a relationship).

Life Updates:

Join us as we share the highs and lows of our recent family events, from the joy of Kenya and Kaden's wedding to the chaos of our home remodeling project. We'll also tell you about our experiences with innovative laser treatments and virtual speaking engagements. Whether it's repairing a tractor or playing pickleball, we emphasize the importance of challenging beliefs and effective communication in all aspects of life. End your week on a high note, and take these insights into your personal interactions for positive change. Don't forget to share our podcast with friends to help it grow!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to. We Play Full Out by Bart and Sunny Miller. Take it away, Sunny.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, Bart. I'm so excited to have an amazing conversation with you today.

Speaker 1:

Me too.

Speaker 2:

I love having conversations. Best part of my week. Well, actually we have a lot of conversations. We're just recording this one.

Speaker 1:

Perfect.

Speaker 2:

All right. So today we're going to dive into the idea that ideas strongly stated and loosely held is the mark of true intelligence. Which sounds this post before, but we wanted to revisit and expand upon one of his answers. What he said is having a strong opinion is the mark of intellect, but having the ability to change is the mark of true intelligence. He kind of said only politicians hold one stance forever for fear of flip-flopping, but we mortals do better to constantly experiment. So in our personal ongoing journey to play full out, in our relationship together and in our lives, we've learned that it is easy to grab onto a belief or an opinion and hold it so strongly that we resist any other ideas or viewpoints, that we resist any other ideas or viewpoints and we seem to like. We have our reasoning and our logic and we just think that backs it up and we think everybody should see things the way that we do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that the business world has seen this so many times. It's crazy. So, for example, the railroad industry. The railroad industry could have owned the trucking industry. Literally, they had their chance, but they didn't believe trucks were going to take them over. So guess what they did? They were so opinionated and so set in their logic and their investment. They lost a huge, huge opportunity. We see this with Blockbuster and Netflix. We see this all sorts of things. But we're so determined and focused and believe that things aren't going to change or whatever, that we don't do things. Now also, that can be a blessing. Right, stick into your guns, I'm all for it. But that's what I think this quote is so good at saying is that intellect is having an opinion. It didn't say not having an opinion, but it says having an opinion, but being open to challenge your opinion. Open to challenge your opinion. How many of us challenge our opinions fully, and how many of us?

Speaker 2:

when we do challenge our opinions, truly do it with true intent to see the other side.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's a good one right now too, obviously because of the political climate that's happening right now. But yeah, I think the key thing you said there was open-mindedness. And actually, when you were giving your examples, I also thought about when penicillin first came out Forgive me, I can't remember the name of the guy that created it, but that was logic, science-backed. All science was saying no, like the germs aren't what's killing people, or whatever it was. I wish I could remember the full story now, but they refused to change. Many, many, many, many people lost their lives before they finally came around and said you're right, but in your mind it's like no, this is the way it is, this is logic, this is reasoning. I'm not willing to look at a different thing. And so open-mindedness is expansiveness, I would say. And since we're all about expansiveness and personal growth, we've learned that challenging our internal belief systems is an important part of claiming our personal freedom, and it's what allows us to architect our lives the way that we want to.

Speaker 1:

Architect our life by design, right? Yes, and I think that's the critical part. And here's the thing, when we're talking about challenging your beliefs, that I want to make sure that we're somewhat clear on not always the case, but for the most part, when we say, challenging our beliefs means how were you raised? Let's just start there. What was the doctrine and the propaganda that your parents were raised with Then? How were you raised and are they your beliefs that were installed in you because you decided, or were they beliefs that were installed in you because you were young? You went through everything.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you don't think brainwashing is a real thing, brainwashing is a real thing I urge you to go learn about it, because we're being brainwashed all the time. Now, if you're a marketer, your job is to brainwash people. Yes, it is crazy, but that's the truth, right? So, at the end of the day, I'm not. I'm not talking. Don't take any of this as negativity, or we, you know, just take it as think about it, sit with it. But what I'm not talking, don't take any of this as negativity, or, you know, just take it as think about it, sit with it.

Speaker 1:

But what I'm saying is, a lot of the beliefs you have today aren't your beliefs. They're beliefs that you came to because of how you were raised, the area you raised in, whatever it might be right or wrong. So I think, sometimes, though, it's very, very healthy for us to truly understand those. So I'll give you one example of my personal life. I did not believe in tattoos Now I have a whole sleeve because I challenged that belief, because of how I looked at the body, what I thought the body was. Now right or wrong, I decided to challenge that belief at a very high level for myself, because I wanted to see what I could do with it.

Speaker 2:

And what do you think that did for you? Did that? Do you feel like they gave you more personal freedom and expensiveness? Did that.

Speaker 1:

Do you feel like they gave you more personal freedom and expensiveness? Yes, not only did it do that, it just allowed me to know I am changeable, you know, and I think that's the thing I wanted to know for myself. In so many ways, I see other things in how I've changed. Like when I was younger, I had a very quick temper, very quick temper, you know. Am I proud of it? No, but at the end of the day, today I feel like I'm way slower, way slower, to go to my temper Right. So I've seen changes like that because I knew they needed to be changed and I saw through generations and you know things like that, but this is one that I was pretty adamant about, that I just really wanted to push and prove to myself does a tattoo really matter?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that. And when we're unwilling to challenge or question belief systems, it actually kind of restricts ourselves and it restricts our lives and we're inflexible, restricts ourselves and it restricts our lives and we're inflexible and that can spill out into ourselves, like you mentioned, and it can also spill out into our relationships, because as much as we want everybody to agree with us, that's never going to be the case and you can have a child who has a different belief system than you. How are you going to react to that person? You have a spouse that has a different belief system. How are you going to react? Does it trigger you? Does it make you upset? Do you not treat them with love and respect because you're angry about it? Or are you willing to be flexible in your thinking? Are you willing to be open, willing to say oh, you know what, it's okay for them to believe how they believe, and we can still just love each other and support each other.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and not to get too far off the path of where you're going. But this can also be something that, when you're born into certain things and have these certain beliefs, I believe it can sometimes even stop your calling. And that's what you chose to come here for. You chose here. You chose to come here to be raised that way, to see if you could overcome it to actually fulfill the thing you needed to come here to be raised that way, to see if you could overcome it to actually fulfill the thing you needed to come here to fulfill. Now, I know that's deep, deep thoughts, yes, indeed, but imagine that. Imagine the whole reason you were raised and all the things in the environment was to see if you could actually challenge your beliefs enough to overcome that and fulfill the thing that you were sent here to actually accomplish and do. But yet you have so ingrained beliefs that you can't even see that. That's what it was, so it's called an awakening.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I can always tell when something needs to be challenged within me, because I know Bart's seen it for a lot of years. But this is my awakening is that I feel it in my body and I feel so much resistance towards it that it does constrict me. And I don't feel like I would have that type of reaction in my body if it wasn't something that needed to be looked at further by me.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know the kind of healing work we're doing right now, and where is it always found? In the body. Yeah, anytime you're doing something, when you feel it in your body, there is something you better work on, because if you don't, it's going to manifest even greater in your body.

Speaker 2:

Yep, I am proof of that.

Speaker 1:

I think we all are in some way, shape or form. So the elements, the things that we have, our body is the actual vessel that teaches us the things that we need to teach, just like your heart is where everything is at your brain, right. So, anyway, let's keep going. It's great.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that and you know there's out. I guess I don't know if you'd call them outside belief systems, because they're still internal. But there's also self-limiting beliefs and those can be very damaging too, because really our whole belief system is our map that guides us to take action in our lives and to create goals for ourselves. So if we have self-limiting beliefs or if we have a belief structure like you I mean I don't know if the tattoo example really fits here, but it kind of does it's like I don't believe in that or I shouldn't do that or I shouldn't do this Then it kind of does limit your options for a life that you could have if you didn't have that. Am I making sense?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think self-limiting beliefs are also detrimental because if you look at the term self, it's not other people and truly what they think. It's what you think, they think.

Speaker 2:

Or what you think about yourself.

Speaker 1:

Both, yeah, and the reason I think you usually get there because that's what you think about yourself is because you would think about somebody else thinks about you, which is kind of a crazy way to think about it, but reality is that's how you become doubtful is you've had an experience, something happened?

Speaker 2:

generally speaking, Yep, that's where beliefs come from also.

Speaker 1:

It starts a self-limiting belief, but that self-limiting belief started because of one person, not even you know. Everybody else is cheering you on, but here's the deal you don't even see the cheering on, even if people are telling you what it's like. No, no, no Cause you're just trying to do this to make me feel good, or they'll. They'll just literally push it away and then therefore cause themselves literally hell when they didn't need to and everybody would have cheered them on. And here's the thing we know. If the more transparent that's not the right word, vulnerable is the word I'm looking for the more, the more vulnerable we are, the more people know like, love and trust us.

Speaker 2:

Yet it's the scariest thing right that we can do. Can do yeah.

Speaker 1:

So fearful.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I am one of them. Not here back, boy. I'm telling you, like there's certain things that I am scared to death to talk about, and one of them even could be why I left my traditional religion, Because I don't hate the people, I don't. I love them to death. So therefore, I don't want to cause things in them because of me, even though I do. I do want to cause things in them sometimes. You know, I want them to have an awakening, but here's the deal I know what their beliefs are and that they want me to have an awakening, to come back. You know what I'm saying. So that yin and yang, I'm like, ah, forget about it, you know type of a thing. So, like those are just some things. I don't want to get too far off, but there you go.

Speaker 2:

I like that a lot. So I would say challenging beliefs is one of the hardest things that I've ever done, so I'm not going to even say this is easy. Like it can be really, especially if you believe really strongly. It's not necessarily a fun process but at the same time probably the most rewarding.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think here's the deal. I think the more you exercise the muscle, the easier it gets.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know I'm not saying it's easy. Lifting weights isn't easy, but the more you exercise the muscle, it's amazing the different things you can take undertake and how much more your body is able to do and how much faster it's able to do it. But the first little while and the first time you do this, you better be ready to come home sore. Yeah, and don't tackle them all at one time or you'll blow yourself up and then you'll never want to go back to the gym again.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I like that good analogy.

Speaker 2:

So there are like just three little things we could cover here on how to approach that, and I think how you approach it is one of the most important things to think about.

Speaker 2:

So the first step would be to be self-aware, notice your thoughts and beliefs, especially those that trigger you or cause you to become heated in a quick hurry. And, as we talked about before, if your body starts to tense up, if you start to feel resistance inside of you, and then listen to yourself, talk and observe how you view situations and here's where the approach can be different you can tell yourself I don't have to give up my belief, I just want to look at it, because if you come at it like I have to give this up, you're going to tense up even more, but it's more like no, I'm just observing, I'm being open to hearing another side of the story instead of trying to force my beliefs on other people. I'm just going to observe and see what I come up with. What is this thing in me that I'm feeling or that I need to look at?

Speaker 1:

Exploration.

Speaker 2:

And the next step would be to examine the logic, step back and weigh the evidence to see if your beliefs are actually logical. I mean, I think we'd be surprised. Like you said so many times, they're just instilled in us from our environment or from a past experience or whatever it might be, and so we just take it as truth and we take it as certainty, when, if we're to step back and look at the evidence, it just might not be there. So some questions you can ask would be what if I'm wrong? And just once again, you don't have to drop your belief, just say what if I'm wrong? And just once again, you don't have to drop your belief, just say what if I am wrong? Or how is this belief serving me or not serving me?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that's so good. And the other thing I want you to be aware of is the places you've got your knowledge from. Aren't the places you can go to get the knowledge from to find out if you're right or wrong? So, even Facebook right now, and Instagram and YouTube, whatever you're searching, they're going to keep feeding it to you and anchor that belief and back up your beliefs to be right, and that's even been proven. So if you don't believe me, go look that up. A dictionary in one state will say one thing versus a dictionary that says the same thing in a different state. We've also proven that. We saw how Google came out and had a whole bunch of things that they were biased in, even here recently in the Google whole fiasco. Okay, lots of proof on this. So what you really need to do is is you've got to go outside of your ecosystem, generally speaking, and truly figure and find things out. Okay, now there's a, an author Um, I just lost his name. He wrote the book the game.

Speaker 2:

Yes, why can't I think of it right now?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'll think of it. But that author, what he does, which is fascinating, no matter what he writes about, he goes and actually lives it, Total immersion becomes, it lives. It then comes back and writes about the entire thing.

Speaker 2:

And kind of makes a conclusion about what his choice would be.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, which is really fascinating. Okay, so my point is is that you've got to literally get outside of your box, go look at other things and really sit with it, but don't go to your normal resources, your normal things and think You're going to find a different answer? Yeah, you're going to find more anchoring to the belief.

Speaker 2:

I love me some validation on my beliefs. We all do yes, for sure, good, good. And then maybe another step you could do would be to just be a detective Try to expose weaknesses and contradictions in your beliefs and try to expose strengths in another viewpoint. Just kind of have fun with it, be open, be creative and be curious. Because that will be the thing Once again if you don't come at it hard or even attacking your belief system, you'll be able to be open and curious and you could actually have fun with it.

Speaker 1:

Agreed.

Speaker 2:

Anything else you'd like to add there?

Speaker 1:

Nope.

Speaker 2:

Okay, and then just to kind of summarize once again, it is our belief systems that kind of create the map of our lives, so it is worth looking at. If you choose to Agreed, okay, we're going to kind of go on to another section and it's for business, but it's actually for relationships, and so it's kind of a win-win, because we do like to talk about both. And what we're going to talk about is Ezra's Realel that he put out recently, because you shared it with me, you shared it with our elite clients and I thought it was so insightful, so good. We talk about Ezra Firestone here once in a while. If you don't know, he is an e-commerce kingpin. I would say he's got $100 million Shopify stores and we've been in his programs before and he's a very transparent individual, very good at communicating, which is why I thought this reel was so good, extremely good.

Speaker 2:

So just kind of summarize and talk about what he said. So first he said where failures consistently happen in both business and relationships, where the breakdown always happens, is in communication. And I know you might kind of roll your eyes at that because, like, we all think we communicate, we all think that we talk, but there's actually a lot more to that than just talking. And Ezra mentioned that his parents are relationship counselors.

Speaker 2:

I guess is the title he would give them in a commune and Ezra did grow up in a commune and he says people couples in relationships together always come in and of course, what they want to talk about is sex, because that's the exciting thing to talk about, and when you're in a relationship, that's generally what you do, right? But he said, in that model you spend approximately 0.5% of the time wrapped up in physical intimacy and 100% of the time communicating, and your intimacy, or your sex, whatever you want to call it, will only be as good as your communication. And in business, same thing. Your business is only going to be as good as your communication. And communication underlies everything that you do, even in your marketing. If you cannot communicate the value that you have to give to a prospect, they're not going to understand it, they're not going to buy what you have to offer them, right?

Speaker 1:

Same thing in your soulmate.

Speaker 2:

Yep, exactly. So a couple of quick tips on communication that he gave. One is it is not what you say, it is what they hear. Can we just have a mic drop moment right there? So it's a really good idea after you have a conversation to say to the other person okay, what did you hear? And then, once you get that back and if it isn't what you intended to communicate, you need to try again. And obviously, like I kind of go, my mind goes to like heated conversations or things that were really frustrated or super touchy or sensitive about, and we've talked about this before. It's like the story in my head is this? So, like you could even approach it that way, Like what did you hear? Well, the story in my head that I'm hearing, or what I'm hearing is this. I think even just saying what I'm hearing is this takes a lot of the.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, a lot of the pressure off, yeah, but I'll tell you, believe it or not, you guys, communication, even on the small things, are what lead to the big things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You know, and it's crazy that you'll say little things, thinking somebody heard you and they, you know they didn't. The other thing that we do is is that we think we communicate. Um, how do I say this the right way? Um, I'll come back to it. But basically, how we, how we think we communicated, isn't as clear if we are to listen to our own selves or if we were to write it out.

Speaker 2:

Right? Well, I think it's because in our own minds we're connecting dots that we're not saying out loud.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So like I think you should read my mind. Basically You'll say that you're like did you think I read your mind? It's like, yes, I did. You know, and after a while, when you live with somebody for so long, you, honestly, I think, do think that they read your mind just by looking. And you know, there's nothing that I I find more, and I'm just just because it's funny and I can say right here, but is when you're out working with somebody in a tractor or a piece of equipment and you're trying to communicate.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's super fun buckets down, bucket up this that you know, you're running a piece of equipment yeah, it is so crazy you think you're so clear yeah yet when you're on the other end, you're like what in the world? Are they saying or driving a boat or backing a trailer, you know, those types of things will really tell you how fast and how good you're communicating with somebody in in those types of situations. I don't know, just throw them out there, Cause I think they're funny and they spark a lot of like frustration.

Speaker 2:

I know Sometimes I'm like give me the signal right now what you expect, so that when I'm in the tractor I know what you mean.

Speaker 1:

Cause like it's so confusing sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so a lot of people instigate a communication, but they don't reach the target and they say well, I told them.

Speaker 1:

Yep, and it's the same thing in marketing and you brought that up in business, right it?

Speaker 2:

The problem is you didn't actually communicate it. If they just say, well, I told them, but they didn't get it, you're the one who's responsible for that.

Speaker 1:

That's so good, so the buck stops with you.

Speaker 2:

Communication is taking responsibility for what that person heard, and that is a much bigger game than just saying some stuff that you think sounds cool. Exactly so good, all right. So tip number two and you kind of alluded to this a little bit, I think All right. So tip number two, and you kind of alluded to this a little bit, I think where relationships break down and that is, we're talking about business relationships as well so like, maybe there's a couple of co-founders, they have a falling out with one another and then the business just dies because they couldn't figure out how to get along.

Speaker 2:

So same thing with relationships, right? They're called withheld value judgments. You make a judgment about someone's behavior that you don't like, but you don't tell them, you just think about it. You stew about that thing, but you don't say it because you don't feel like you can tell them the truth, because they'll charge you too high of an emotional price to tell them the truth. You know how that is. It's like oh, she's going to be mad. So I'm just going to hold it in, because I don't want to have to pay the price of what happens when they get mad.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and here's the deal I see a lot in in intimate relationships and that's this. They're in a want need relationship and we can get into that later.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But if they did say the? The woman said this, I'm just going to use it in the traditional format Okay, the woman said to their significant other that has all the power, the job, the money, all that, and said their mind. They could be out on the street and not have anything because they spoke their mind. And that's what we're talking about here is who has leverage. Who has power can also affect communication. Even though the other person wants to speak their mind, they don't even dare speak their mind.

Speaker 2:

Well, and even like if the full out on the streets isn't the outcome, like if you get a bad reaction from the other person to where they make your life uncomfortable.

Speaker 1:

Yep.

Speaker 2:

Or they give you the cold shoulder Yep, or they're going to bring it up for the next five years, you know, and make it really painful. I mean, there's a lot of scenarios too, or how dare you think it?

Speaker 1:

You're in a religious situation.

Speaker 2:

They're not open to actually having a good conversation with you, yep, like this can happen.

Speaker 1:

I think it happens more often, oh, way more. You know, even in our relationship it's happened with both of us. Let's be clear, you know. There's things like if I said this to you, it would blow you up, even though it's important to me, and or I want to discuss it because I feel like it's important to us, but I'm just like no way. But what's crazy about that is, I would say, 90% of the time I'm wrong.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

If I would just bring it up with you, maybe you might need a week, I don't know. But generally speaking, the coolest part about Sunny is she can sit with stuff and she can work through it and look at it. She's not just looking for the door or a reason to exit.

Speaker 2:

Well, and I want to communicate. So I'm not going to make your life miserable because you wanted to communicate with me, like, thank you. Vice versa, yeah, that's awesome. So, um, let's see. So if you choose not to tell somebody right, then over time all these withheld jet value judgments pile up and then pretty soon you're on opposite ends of the room and you got a big old wall between you and it's kind of past the point where you can communicate because there's just so much stuff there and that's why these breakdowns happen.

Speaker 2:

So the way to combat that is, whatever you think, positive or negative, if you care about the relationship once again, if you care about it, if you don't care about it, who cares? Right? But if you care about that relationship, whatever you think, you must do the work to communicate how you feel about whatever is going on and have that be more important than progress. So at that point, progress is not the goal. People get confused and think that that is the goal. So at that point, progress is not the goal. People get confused and think that that is the goal.

Speaker 2:

But if one person is angry or disgruntled, it can sabotage everything. So the goal is to have it feel good to everybody and once again, this can be in your own personal relationship, in your family, or also in a business situation. You're sitting there with your team, you're sitting there with your partner. The goal is to have it feel good to everybody. Do enough communication to where everyone is on board with what the action plan is and then move forward, and then you can move forward much faster and nobody will sabotage the action, which is generally what happens when somebody gets left behind.

Speaker 1:

Yeah thing in communication fully is even if you don't come to an agreement, you understand where each other's at and you can have a mutual truce either way. Yeah, so that's the thing is I, you know you, I've been in situations where I don't agree. But I agree to disagree and that is okay. Yes, I'm totally cool with that. That doesn't affect me, but I'd rather know than not know Me personally.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so good.

Speaker 1:

It's like I'd rather to be able to agree to disagree than I would be that you're holding and holding and holding and then all of a sudden there's an explosion and it's like where did that even come from?

Speaker 2:

You don't know that from personal experience, dude.

Speaker 1:

I think we all do in some way. Well, it's like no.

Speaker 2:

I mean I'm speaking about me, because I spent a lot of years that way. I was just too afraid to speak. My mind or, you know, didn't want to communicate for I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I think some of it was my upbringing Sure, and not that my parents were, they were awesome but they weren't super great at communicating so I did have a tendency to hold stuff in and then when I blew, I blew. Yeah, yeah, agree to disagree. You know, and you know be okay when people challenge. You know, like there was a situation where we went and played pickleball and we were talking about family dynamics and one of my children said something to somebody else and that that statement was that there was good. I can't even it's hard to explain it without being telling all this whole scenario, but bottom line was my daughter is having a baby that will be my in-laws very first traditional grand baby, great grand baby. And when asked, my mother-in-law said that she already had a great grandbaby. Now, it wasn't biological, but it was through a stepdaughter. Okay, and so to me that's fine, but it's not a traditional absolute.

Speaker 1:

Bloodline, Bloodline grand great grandbaby, absolute bloodline grand great grandbaby. And then, a little bit while later, there was things about males being females, females being males, things to that nature, brought up, and the ability to say that was not allowed was different than being able to say a step granddaughter was a real granddaughter, if that makes sense. And so you can see where challenging that belief was okay. Well, if it's not okay here, then it shouldn't be okay here in the gender war. Right, it's what's truth is truth. If you want to go back to that, you know, or however you see it, none of it's right or wrong, I'm not saying. But all I'm saying is to challenge a belief and communicate and really go through it.

Speaker 1:

Nobody lost in that whole scenario because everybody was able to look at it from their lens. Everybody agreed or agreed to disagree Makes no difference. But at the end of the day it wasn't something trapped within the family that could have been, that could have caused a lot of issues, but it was just out on the table and I thought it was a beautiful conversation, beautiful things. Nobody walked away unhappy, but it was really good conversation.

Speaker 2:

Awesome, yes, I love that. So communication, let's go, let's go. Okay, it's just some life updates we can talk through now. So Kenny and Kane's wedding was absolutely perfect. Everything went according to plan, except for Bart's pants. I can't remember if we mentioned this or not last week.

Speaker 1:

I know, it was crazy.

Speaker 2:

But we were heading upstairs to take some first look photos with Kenya and you look down and there was like a three inch tear down by your boots and they were brand new, never been worn before he bought them specifically for this beautiful wedding day.

Speaker 1:

For a certain look, certain color certain everything.

Speaker 2:

But of course, the powers to be had his back when he felt like he should grab an extra pair to bring with him. And I did thank goodness, and he looked amazing.

Speaker 1:

Thank you.

Speaker 2:

But just a fun little thing we get to remember now on wedding day. Oh man, this weekend we're hosting Kenya's and Caden's Idaho wedding reception right here in our yard and Mercedes and Trace's baby shower.

Speaker 1:

Let's go.

Speaker 2:

So there are a couple of links. If you want to donate to a couple of young couples who are out there doing great things in the world. So cool. Um, you want to talk about our decks?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so, uh, you know, obviously we all have things that we need to get to, but we just don't get to. And Sonny and I have been remodeling. We have a house that we've been remodeling, doing things, all this stuff, and I have an amazing son-in-law and a brother that are awesome builders and they're so good to just jump in and help. So, long story short, um, we decided we were going to change two decks out on the house and make the house look more appealing for when people come. This that the other. So, uh, we tear that apart to only find out that there was some structural things that needed to be fixed on the house so fun.

Speaker 2:

So fun, I mean, I'd rather find it out now than later.

Speaker 1:

But that being not ideal when you're on a timeline and then other things have led. So it's always funny how you take on a project, think it's going to be, you know, so quick.

Speaker 2:

Knock it out in an evening. Yeah, that was what we thought was going to happen.

Speaker 1:

Then, all of a sudden you're five days in. Don't know if you're going to get done on time, yeah, and then tomorrow. Anyway, that's been fun, but we've been working through it and having fun.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah. Um, on our way to Kenya's wedding, we stopped at Dr Smith's office yes, amazing and he had this really cool laser that took away your arm pain in like five minutes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Yep Did stuff on your vocals.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, which was amazing.

Speaker 1:

Amazing, amazing. He works with people.

Speaker 2:

So he's a chiropractor, but he's also a neurology specialist.

Speaker 1:

Yep, he is, and a fascinating and brilliant man, does a lot of legal work for people who have had brain damage and also been in horrible accidents. But just an amazing individual. So it was so fun to see his facility, how he looks at things, how he treats patients. His love for patients was off the charts.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was way different than I thought it was going to be, but it was so cool and that did some kind of sonar like sound, and I wish I could describe that for everybody who's listening, because I've never had that experience before. It's like sound is going through your body, but that you feel pressure.

Speaker 1:

Yep, I don't know so cool, you just got to go do it. Then I was able to speak at Jody and Kara is for their event and they Virtually yeah, virtually which was a lot of fun, Really exciting. They're amazing. They do amazing things in branding, web design, have an awesome agency. They are so good, such great ladies, so I was so grateful for that and you know, just to be part of their event was cool.

Speaker 2:

It was cool. Anything else, I'm sure there are.

Speaker 1:

Let's see the tractor's back. I had some issues with my tractor.

Speaker 2:

He's got his AC back on.

Speaker 1:

AC's back in the tractor. But more than that, the hydraulics work right. Oil's been changed, all the things, filters have been changed in it, which has just been needed to be done. So that's one more thing off the list.

Speaker 2:

Kobe's still in town. We've been playing a little more pickleball.

Speaker 1:

Yep, we've got some, yeah, all sorts of things. So things are moving along and the podcast is going to be out in time, so let's go.

Speaker 2:

Let's go, that's a wrap.

Speaker 1:

Okay, well, you guys hope you have an amazing, amazing, amazing weekend. I hope you put some of these things to the test and communication, and I hope that you look at it in relationship and challenge a belief, if you don't mind, try it out, we dare you.

Speaker 1:

What happens Double dog, dare and. And just remember as you play full out that you will see a difference in your life, with your friends, with your families, all those kind of things. And please recommend this podcast to some of your other friends, send the newsletter on, get them to subscribe. That's the only way we get listeners and get this to grow. So this segment is brought to you by, I Do Epic.

People on this episode

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Bart Miller

Host
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Sunny Miller

Host